Maximum Retardation Alert

We saw this mentioned at another website and we had to bring it to your attention. It’s in Conservapedia — a flamingly creationist operation founded by Andrew Schlafly, the son of Phyllis Schlafly.

Conservapedia seems to have achieved its founder’s original goals — it’s a universally recognized, all-encompassing dumpster and dispensary of ignorance, idiocy, insanity, and similar resources.

They are, as you probably know, a fountain of misinformation about evolution, but that’s old news and it’s not what got our attention this morning. We’d like you to observe their article on E=mc². Here’s the opening paragraph, which should be sufficient to get you interested:

E=mc² is a meaningless, almost nonsensical, statement that purports to relate all matter to light. In fact, no theory has successfully unified the laws governing mass (i.e., gravity) with the laws governing light (i.e., electromagnetism), and numerous attempts to derive E=mc² in general from first principles have failed. Political pressure, however, has since made it impossible for anyone pursuing an academic career in science to even question the validity of this nonsensical equation. Simply put, E=mc² is liberal claptrap

So there you are, dear reader. The only thing we’ll say in closing is that you shouldn’t feel too smug because you’re of the opposite political persuasion. When you get to either ideology’s furthest fringe, the left is just as crazy as the right. And if you don’t know that about your own ideology, then you’re probably on the fringe.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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21 responses to “Maximum Retardation Alert

  1. aturingtest

    SC: “When you get to either ideology’s furthest fringe, the left is just as crazy as the right. And if you don’t know that about your own ideology, then you’re on the fringe.” QFT.
    Ah. Conservapedia. They’re always good for a laugh or two. Here’s an article on Mystery: Does God Have A Sense Of Humor? Their
    evidence from:
    “history: man’s sense of humor improved with the discovery and expansion of Christianity, which indicates their strong correlation.”
    “zoology: there are various animals, such as the duck-billed platypus, that seem designed in order to amuse.”
    “dreams: some dreams might be God playing a trick for amusement purposes on you. ”
    That whole website is evidence that god, if he exists, does indeed have one crazy sense of humor.

  2. For some reason, I don’t beleive them.

    Of course, this link ( has lots of scary maths in it, so I can see why they wouldn’t bother to learn about the equation. Seems like they don’t bother to actually learn about anything.

  3. You should look up the conservapedia bible project.

    They are systematically going through the bible and re-writting it to remove all the parts that could be possibly construed as liberal (or at least liberal in there screwed up view). Jesus can’t even say the word comrad.

  4. docbill1351

    Not only can one derive Einstein’s famous equation from first principles (which is done in college Physics 101) but also well-known equations from physical chemistry, like Gibb’s free energy and the Nernst equation, can also be derived from first principles, meaning one starts with a few basic principles and from those flow all these relationships.

  5. aturingtest says: “QFT.”

    Quantum field theory?

  6. Conservapedia is great for the occasional laugh. I wonder what the article’s author would say if they found out its standard procedure in the nuclear science(s) to express subatomic particle masses in units of energy (MeV). Its just easier to balance reaction equations that way.

  7. When you get to either ideology’s furthest fringe, the left is just as crazy as the right.

    Well said. One could also say the right is just as crazy as the left.

    The problem is, one used to be able to plot politicians overall political ideologies on something similar to a bell curve, where most people were reasonably close to the center, with fewer and fewer people holding positions further removed from the center. Today it seems like the bell curve is inverted, with a mass of politicians at each end, and a trough in the center. I don’t believe the population as a whole is as polarized as it’s politicians… yet.

  8. retiredsciguy

    Conservapedia: “…no theory has successfully unified the laws governing mass (i.e., gravity) with the laws governing light (i.e., electromagnetism)…”

    Mass = gravity? Since when?

  9. Steven J. Thompson

    Perhaps the weirdest thing is that, after that introduction, the article goes on to state that, while the equation was originally deduced from the principles of Einsteinian relativity (which apparently Schlafly identifies with moral relativism), it can be empirically derived. How one empirically derives a “meaningless, almost nonsensical” equation is left as an exercise for philosophers.

  10. Holding the Line in Florida

    Speaking of maximum retardation alerts, did anyone catch our old friend McLeroy on the Colbert Report last night? When Colbert asked him if dinosaurs walked with humans, he himmed and hawed a bit, and finally said yes. The look on Colbert’s face was priceless. You can’t script this stuff up! The whole interview was magnificant!

  11. Is this a hoax? It seems to confirm the prediction that creationists will begin targeting other sciences, after they succeed in eliminating evolution. Christopher Hitchens was right; religion makes otherwise normal people crazy and stupid. (I hope he would have excused my saying so, but Gawd, how I miss him!)

  12. Holding the Line in Florida said:

    [D]id anyone catch our old friend McLeroy on the Colbert Report…

    Fortunately, in case you missed it, the Internet knows all. Colbert takes the “Frank J” tack of “who / what / when” with many of his questions. And McLeroy doesn’t disappoint!

  13. Garystar -thanks for the link. Great video. I don’t think McLeroy knew he was being had, although he looked uncomfortable for a second or two.

    He even brought a pebble with him, to impart the zen-like wisdom that nothing is what sleeping rocks dream of. Who could make this stuff up?


  14. If E does not equal mc^2, then how do Conservopediaists explain atomic weapons? Do they have a theory that the energy released over Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the result of highly compressed angel farts?

    How do they explain the energy being radiated continuously from the big yellowish-white ball in the sky (and all the stars in the night sky as well)?

    Oh, that;s right, they think it’s just graviational compression heating the sun, and it’s less tyhan 10,000 years old.

    Uh-huh. Angel farts all the way down.

  15. aturingtest

    SC: I have a hard time sometimes telling whether or not someone’s being serious over the Internet, so…
    Quoted For Truth.

  16. aturingtest

    Holding the Line in Florida says: “The whole interview was magnificant!”
    I don’t know if that last word is a typo on your part or not… but, considering a Wikipedia definition of “cant,” as “empty, uncritical thought or talk,” it’s a good one. Especially applied to McLeroy.

  17. Thanks Curmy, now I need a new keyboard, a clean shirt, and someone to calm the dog.

  18. CSA says: “someone to calm the dog.”

    Take care of that first. Hey, you gave up your name and switched to the initials of the Confederacy?

  19. Cheryl Shepherd-Adams

    “Hey, you gave up your name and switched to the initials of the Confederacy?”

    Not this Yankee! I was commenting via phone (remember, ruined keyboard??) so brevity overcame clarity.

  20. Conservapedia is a bottomless pit of fevered stupidity, but it is good for a laugh from time to time.

  21. I decided to fisk the Conservapedia entry, but damn, it will take a book to do it justice. First installment: