Answers in Genesis: They Get Email

This is really good! It’s from Answers in Genesis (AIG), one of the major sources of young-earth creationist wisdom. AIG is the online creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia.

Ol’ Hambo didn’t write this, but that’s not important. It’s great stuff! AIG sometimes answers their mail when people send in questions, but today they’ve really outdone themselves. You can find it here: Feedback: The Creator of Plants (and everything else) vs. Zombies.

Here’s the question they got:

You guys are crazy. I understand that your belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father who wants you to symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically accept him as your master will remove an evil in your soul placed there by a rib-woman who was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magic tree is clouding your perception of scientific evidence, but all your doing is confusing Christians who can’t afford to go to college or are uninterested in REAL science. You should be ashamed of your selves and I hope this is a spoof website.

We told you it was great. And then, patiently, line by line, AIG responds to it. They really do. We won’t bother to excerpt their response because that would spoil it for you. If you’re interested you’ll click over there to see what they say. But we will give you AIG’s final paragraph, with scripture references omitted:

You may have sent your email thinking that it would rile us up. Instead, it actually saddens us that someone would spend time railing against the Creator — a Being that you allegedly don’t believe exists. Why would it even concern you if you truly believed God didn’t exist? But you know the truth and are suppressing it in unrighteousness. We will pray that you will humble yourself, turn from your sins, and call out to the Savior to save you from the eternal punishment we all deserve.

In other words: Repent, letter-writer, or you’ll end up in the Lake of Fire.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Answers in Genesis: They Get Email

  1. Ceteris Paribus

    Chaffey responded re the Trinity: “The Father is God; the Son is God; and the Holy Spirit is God. However, the Father is not the Son; the Son is not the Holy Spirit; and the Holy Spirit is not the Father. The doctrine of the Trinity has been thoroughly explained many times before by others, and we have several articles dealing with the subject.”

    But over a century ago Robert Ingersoll used simple arithmetic to settle the question:

    Ingersoll’s Works, Vol. 4, p. 266-67:

    Christ, according to the faith, is the second person in the Trinity, the Father being the first and the Holy Ghost third.

    Each of these persons is God. Christ is his own father and his own son. The Holy Ghost is neither father nor son, but both.

    The son was begotten by the father, but existed before he was begotten–just the same before as after. Christ is just as old as his father, and the father is just as young as his son.

    The Holy Ghost proceeded from the Father and Son, but was equal to the Father and Son before he proceeded, that is to say, before he existed, but he is of the same age as the other two.

    So it is declared that the Father is God, and the Son and the Holy Ghost God, and these three Gods make one God. According to the celestial multiplication table, once one is three, and three time one is one, and according to heavenly subtraction if we take two from three, three are left. The addition is equally peculiar: if we add two to one we have but one. Each one equal to himself and to the other two. Nothing ever was, nothing ever can be more perfectly idiotic and absurd than the dogma of the Trinity.

    An episode of Mr Deity made good use of Ingersoll’s work.

  2. For further explanation, please see the lyrics to “I’m My Own Grandpaw” by by Dwight Latham and Moe Jaffe.

  3. “the eternal punishment we all deserve.” My most religious relatives have suffered lifelong depression , and no wonder after being fed a steady diet of fear, guilt, and self-sacrifice for doing nothing but being human – and some barely that, in terms of sensuality. Of course, psychotherapy is out of the question since depression is just more proof of us sinners’ moral failing – this time in the mind (I’ve heard mental illness referred to as “rot in the mind”, and wish ordained ministers could be charged with illegally practicing medicine by diagnosing and “treating” illness instead of making appropriate referrals). Prayer is said to be the remedy – but apparently works only for the deserving…. and so goes the codependent spiral. How convenient that none of us are deserving of anything but punishment, eternally. On a lighter note, loved “ayatollah of Appalachia” – hit home!

  4. Tomato Addict

    What a wonderful absurdity! They actually answered it straight, and in agonizing detail. AIG is a spoof of themselves.

  5. Donna says: loved “ayatollah of Appalachia”

    It’s all about alliteration.

  6. Stan Baskem

    I don’t want these people to pray for me. Unfortunately, having spent a good portion of each morning reading CURMUDGEON and PANDA, I’m stultified that they get as much financing as they do to troll and pray, troll and pray. I wish they’d just get raptured already.

  7. A true classic. The best in my view is their claim that god invented logic, like it was some natural law, so one cannot argue with them (using logic) without confirming god’s existence. Their argument makes no logical sense, however, so does that mean God is not real?

    I think it just means they are crazy.

  8. Unfortunately, I went to the AiG site and read the article. AiG’s response to the letter writer was inanity wrapped in insanity.

    They really are deranged morons.

  9. OMG! Jesus was totes a LICH, not a zombie, y’all! Look it up!

  10. Mark Joseph

    AiG: “Why would it even concern you if you truly believed God didn’t exist?”

    Rational human being: (1) Because the lunatics who believe in this non-existent god are trying to turn our country into a theocracy, with all the repression that which implies, and (2) Because they reject the real and the true in favor of the unreal and the make believe, and want to indoctrinate children into their particular sub-sub-sub culture of ignorance.

  11. Stan Baskem

    Here, here, Mark Joseph. It concerns me because politics concern me, the times we live in concern me, the surge in extremist rhetoric concerns me… And I am NOT going to take it lying down. I believe the amount of financing flowing into theocratic organizations is increasing with each passing year. I see it on Google, Facebook, actually, wherever I go. My goal this year (call it a hobby) is to wring some countermeasure from the countless posts I read that has the polemic teeth necessary to part a Gish Gallop like the red sea.

  12. I did not understand the opening line of their response. No name was given, but the language sounds a lot like Ben Goren over at WEIT. However, I cannot imagine that Ben would bother visiting AIG.