Rev. David Rives: Geology is Bunk

We know you want to start your day out with a strong creationist message, and that’s why we’re so dependent on our Retard-o-tron™.

This morning the blinking letters on the wall said WorldNetDaily. As you know, WorldNetDaily (WND) is the flamingly creationist, absolutely execrable, moronic, and incurably crazed journalistic organ that believes in and enthusiastically promotes every conspiracy theory that ever existed.

So we followed the electronic pointers and the Retard-o-tron™ led us to another video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries. The last time we brought you a David Rives video was 2 Minutes of Stupid.

Thr rev’s latest is Evolution, geology based on ‘vivid imagination’, and when you click over to WND you’ll see the great theologian standing in front of what looks like a wall chart or mural. At first you may think it illustrates a bunch of cooties that crawled out of his nose, but he suggests that they’re trilobites.

Today’s video doesn’t start with an ad, which is a relief. It’s about the geologic column — and it’s clear that the rev thinks geology is a bunch of nonsense. That’s because the fossils are used to date rock strata and vice versa — a vicious circle of incestuous reasoning. As always, the greatest feature of the rev’s video is its brevity — this one is about a minute and a half long.

Okay, your Curmudgeon and his Retard-o-tron™ have done all they can for you. Now click over to WND and take a look. You know you love this stuff.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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8 responses to “Rev. David Rives: Geology is Bunk

  1. I noticed that he said that the geologic column is “rarely seen in nature”. Is this a softening from the what I used to hear from YECs, that the geologic column didn’t exist at all?

  2. Doctor Stochastic

    WND isn’t touting a list of Creationist Geologists who got rich finding oil or gas fields.

  3. Robert Murphy

    It’s always a self-confidence booster to read creationist commentary. This article is no exception. There’s the “The fool has said in his heart that there is no God” quotation. A claim that “Darwin himself did not belive in evolution”. The conspiracy theories like “Many of the fossils claimed to be intermediate are locked up and denied access to because scientists want us to take their word for it”. No 2nd Law of Thermal Documents or “As Darwin said, life only comes from life”, but give ’em time.

    So while I know I must have lost some brain cells reading the comments, they still make me feel like my IQ went up 50 points. 🙂

  4. So the geological column is just a bunch of colorful charts? Rarely found in nature?

    Those Tennesseans sure take their academic freedom seriously. Rives has managed to produce videos free of any academic knowledge whatsoever.

  5. I might suggest Canyon de Chelly in Arizona or the ampitheater at GhostR anch in New Mexico as interesting places to visit and examine layering.

  6. I recall a tune, “What kind of crankery* is this?”….. I suppose that WND is the favored source for crank magnets, which definition is a fun read in Wikipedia – SC mentioned, too.
    *The original word works as well or better in the context.

    Speaking of columns and vivid imaginations, when I click on WND to see pimply 15-yr-old-looking Rives’ poor streaming videos, I’m always distracted by the cartoon Jesus dude with heavy handed foreshortening on the right, as well as columns below the video player featuring headlines such as “Study: Obama economy wrecking NASCAR” with a photo of a horrid, fatal crash.

    Basically, I become over-stimulated by viewing a single page of frenetic crazy on the site – an insult to the physical nervous system as well as intellect. That got me wondering whether Suzanne Passman derives her strident energy (at least as an unprescribed source) from staring with no filter at those front pages. The usual, jangly experience was highlighted today when, for some reason, two videos played simultaneously. I thought the mother with the developmentally disabled cheerleader daughter was a lead-in to Rives “documentary” until I realized that his was playing in the background.

  7. RE:Doctor Stochastic, I bring this up in my debates. For whatever reason, I’m told that “Oh, the oil companies? They’re working on that.” What? Infiltrating oil companies? And hypothetically, how does one discover oil deposits without referencing the geological column? Well, oil, you see, has nothing to do with fossils. The Earth “just makes it”. Oh. Okay. So that’s how it’s done.

  8. Tomato Addict

    O/T, but the other day I saw a car with an extra-large “WorldNetDaily.com” bumper sticker, which is the first I have seen for WND. Unsurprisingly, is was accompanied by a bumper sticker promoting our Republican Governor who is up for recall election in a few weeks.

    Now don’t get me wrong, I can respect a good conservative opinion, but I keep wondering when Republicans will wake up and realize that the inmates have taken over the asylum (sorry, not respectful) closeting with Creationist clowns is not going to lead to the sort of government that real conservatives want.