Creationist Wisdom #252: A Fine Line

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Lincoln Journal Star, which describes itself as “the premier news and information source in Southeast Nebraska.” The title is Take me to your leader.

We’ve all heard that there’s a fine line between genius and madness, but we always thought we could figure out which is which. It now seems that we over-estimated our powers of discernment, because we don’t know how to classify this one. Or maybe too much exposure to this stuff has degraded our abilities.

Is today’s letter intended to be funny, or is the letter-writer afflicted with every conspiracy virus in existence? Either way it’s interesting, so we’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Here we go:

People still question whether President Barack Obama was born in the United States.

Don’t worry, we’re not going there. Things get better right away:

The real question is, was he born on this planet?

That’s good! But is the letter-writer serious? Let’s read on:

If the History Channel taught me anything, it’s that space aliens live among us. This is why every presidential candidate should have his/her DNA tested.

We’re starting to really like this one. Let’s continue:

Look at Obama’s ears. That’s alien design, not intelligent design.

See what we mean? The letter-writer is either being wickedly subtle, or he’s totally bonkers. Either way, we love this letter! Here’s more:

Obama is the most illegal alien. If he gets a second term, he will call in the mothership and all real Americans will be beamed up and sent to work in the salt mines of Alpha Centauri and will be forced to contribute to a single-payer health plan.

This guy is great! Here’s how it ends:

Or he’s from Kenya.

Aaaargh!! The letter finishes on a birther note, just as it began. Is the letter-writer serious, or is he seriously clever? You decide, dear reader.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #252: A Fine Line

  1. Ceteris Paribus

    All of us true students of extra terrestrial life know that Alpha Centaurians do not have any DNA at all, so it is futile to propose testing presidential candidates . So obviously the letter writer a mere birther, which is by definition not clever.

  2. Must be a joke. It’s far too coherent to be written by a real crazy person. Also there are no Bible verses to support the ideas.

  3. That’s the sort of letter I really hope is satire. Because I hate to think any of my fellow citizens is seriously proposing that.

  4. That’s silly – B.O. is no extraterrestrial. Quite the reverse in fact. I’d swear I saw him in Men in Black III with Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin. I’d recognize those ears anywhere.

  5. The Poe is strong in this one. So strong that nobody can tell if it IS Poe. I’ll go with the hypothesis that the writer is trying mess with everyone’s minds.

  6. Sounds like a good plot idea for a “Dr. Who” episode.

  7. Ed>”Sounds like a good plot idea for a “Dr. Who” episode.”

    I’m pretty sure it is already. Maybe more than once.

    Poe. Poking fun at the Birthers.

  8. Jim Thomerson

    If you go back and look at cartoons of the time, the ears of President Bush and President Obama exhibit a close similarity of depiction.

  9. aturingtest

    Poe, for sure. The reference to The History Channel is too sarcastic and self-aware to have come from an actual creationist or birther (and the sarcasm is justified, IMO, by the absolute dreck THC has indulged in over the years). That being said- the letter did bring out the birthers in the comments section (“OMG!! The pdf computer file of Obama’s birth certificate shows definite signs of having been processed on a computer! !!!11!1!!!!1!”). There’s nothing worse than a half-wit focused on a “cause.”

  10. Not intelligently designed? “The better to hear you with, my dear.”

    (People who have one letter to the editor published commonly have multiple letters published. Google, and ye shall find.)

  11. JT: “… the ears of President Bush and President Obama …”

    Don’t forget Ross “I’m all ears.” Perot.

  12. The letter writer is quite clever. Nobody could possibly be that nutso,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,right? Will