The website Sky News reports Modern-Day Noah Opens Doors Of Ark Creation. We are informed:
A faithful reproduction of Noah’s ark, using the dimensions in The Bible, has just opened to the public in The Netherlands. It was constructed by the Dutch creationist and millionaire building contractor Johan Huibers, after he dreamt that Holland would be flooded once again.
This must be a shocking blow to Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. As you know, Answers in Genesis (AIG) is Hambo’s online creationist ministry, and they’re planning Ark Encounter, a replica of Noah’s Ark, Now a Dutchman has done it first. The story continues:
He [Huibers] used the ancient measurement of the cubit – the length of a man’s arm from the elbow to the fingertips – to build the craft according to Biblical proportions. In Genesis the ark is described as being 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, and 30 cubits high so the mammoth effort took him and his team of five just over four years to finish.
Huibers did it in four years — with a team of five people? Ol’ Hambo’s been raising money and talking about his replica for a year and a half, but he hasn’t even started construction yet. Let’s read on:
Using Mr Huiber’s arm [as a cubit], the craft, which is moored in the southern Netherlands town of Dordrecht, is just over 450 feet in length, dwarfing buildings along the waterfront.
It’s moored? That means it’s literally a ship. Hambo’s replica is going to be entirely on dry land. We continue:
He has filled it with a plastic menagerie of animals – as well as a few species of live birds – to recreate the story of Noah for paying visitors and to make The Bible more ‘touchable’.
Plastic animals are much more sanitary than the ghastly conditions with which Noah had to contend. Here’s more:
Deborah Venema-Huibers, manager of the Ark [we think she’s the daughter of Johan Huibers], told Sky News that they had to abandon plans to sail the ark to the London Olympics after they were asked to make the wooden boat safer for visitors.
Bureaucrats! Good thing Noah didn’t have to deal with them. But look what else they have to deal with:
Mrs Huibers says they are being contacted by dozens of people worried about the Mayan prophecy of the end of the world in December this year.
That’s to be expected in the Ark business. Fortunately, Hambo won’t have to worry about that. His Ark — if he ever raises the money to build it — won’t be finished until after the Mayan doomsday. Besides, Hambo’s Ark won’t float, so he has nothing to offer the end-of-the-world crowd.
Well, dear reader, if you’ve been yearning to visit a replica of the Ark, there’s no reason to wait for ol’ Hambo to get his project off the ground. He’s been upstaged by a Dutchman.
Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.