WorldNetDaily’s War on Bill Nye

Buffoon Award

Our Labor Day tranquility was shattered by blaring sirens and lights flashing on the wall display of our Retard-o-tron™. The blinking letters on the wall said WorldNetDaily.

WorldNetDaily (WND) is the flamingly creationist, absolutely execrable, moronic, and incurably crazed journalistic organ that believes in and enthusiastically promotes every conspiracy theory that ever existed. WND was an early winner of the Curmudgeon’s Buffoon Award, thus that jolly logo displayed above this post.

It was just a few days ago that we posted WND: Ray Comfort Disputes Bill Nye. But that wasn’t enough for WND. It was only the start of their hysterical reaction against the video in which Bill Nye Blasts Creationism.

Their new article is Bill Nye the Abacus Guy. That title appears beneath WND’s “Evolution Watch” banner, which always gets our Curmudgeonly attention. The mere existence of that journalistic category tells us all we need to know about the intellectual standing of WND. That banner is enough to trigger our Retard-o-tron™.

The author of the article is Andrew Longman. He’s described as “a Christian and an applied scientist.” We know — you’re wondering “What’s an applied scientist?” You’re about to find out. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Nye, a man who likes to claim he’s a pre-eminent scientist because he has a bachelor’s degree, is breathing hate-filled bigotry at people of religious conscience, in the name of science. I searched in vain for a publication on a serious scientific subject with Nye’s name in the author list. All I could really come up with is that he patented a ballet slipper and an abacus.

I’m not kidding. He patented an abacus.

To support that, Longman links to Bill Nye’s Curriculum Vitae. But we note that Longman doesn’t link to his own. We searched for Nye’s patent and found this: United States Patent 399,522 — Digital Abacus. Longman’s article continues:

Bill Nye the Abacus Guy claims, with a straight face, that evolution-deniers are taking us backward in scientific progress. Meanwhile, greatly advanced Mister Nye has successfully patented upgrades to the single most primitive calculational device known to man, a hot item obsoleted several millennia before the iPhone. He is a liberal progressive. Did I mention all his doctorates were “honorary”?

Is this guy ever going to tell us about the wonders of creationism? Let’s read on:

Fifty years ago, “scientists” like Nye asserted confidently that all human beings obviously descended from hundreds of thousands of different lines of apes. In other words, every human being on the planet had come from thousands of genetic monkey-parents, and anyone who believed otherwise was a fool. Creationists were ridiculed without mercy for asserting bluntly that all human beings descended from one human male and one human female – one line – mere thousands of years ago.

Evolution says we’re descended from “hundreds of thousands of different lines of apes”? Wow — this guy really knows what he’s talking about! We continue:

Today? The fact, established by secular, canonical science, has shown that all humanity descended from one human female, thousands of years ago.

He’s talking about Mitochondrial Eve. Hers is the only purely matrilineal line that goes back that far. Other ancestral females — her contemporaries — sometimes had only male descendants, which broke their matrilineal line, but they’re also our ancestors. In our considerable experience, not even the craziest creationist websites claim that Mitochondrial Eve was Mrs. Adam. Oops — that’s wrong. We found this at ICR: Mother of All Humans Lived 6,000 Years Ago. Here’s more from WND:

Will Bill Nye now apologize to Jews and Christians for ridiculing Eve as an unscientific fable? Despite the fact that real scientists who actually do science say that all human beings descended from one human male father less than 60,000 years ago, Nye pretends Macro-Evolution is winning when Adam and Eve have reduced Macro-Evolution to a farce. We Creationists were factually correct for 6,000 years of recorded history, and Bill Nye and company were vociferously wrong for many decades. Now that science has proven the Creationists to be correct and the Macro-Evolutionists to be wrong, Nye owes us an apology, not a made-for-TV smear.

Amazing. Mitochondrial Eve is estimated to have lived around 200,000 years ago — a wee bit before the Garden of Eden. And no one (except Longman) thinks there’s evidence that “all human beings descended from one human male father less than 60,000 years ago.” Moving along:

Nye ought concede that his group’s rantings were storytelling masquerading as science. And he should further apologize for the evolutionary establishment’s junk science being used as a social bludgeon to dehumanize religious minorities. Will Nye defend the factually inaccurate evolutionary establishment’s having been bigoted, bombastic, prejudiced and condescending toward biblical Jews and Christians? I keep hoping we’ll draw Nye unto science.

This is quite a rant! WND is the greatest! We’re only about half-way through and this is long enough, so we’ll only give you a few more excerpts:

But I would point out that Nye is a Y-chromosomal Adam and Mitochondrial Eve denier. Because he is ideological, he can’t bear to see the truth staring at him in the face from peer-reviewed journals. I don’t wish to ape Nye, but when you have ignorant denialists like Bill out there, masquerading as scientists and spouting out dated theories from the Victorian era on TV, I would argue his chest pounding – due to an anti-evidence mentality – is really what’s holding us all back. Can you imagine this man teaching your children to deny Mitochondrial Eve in order to defend science?

Here’s one more — to our delight it’s about Noah’s Ark:

The facts keep pouring in. Molecular geneticists discovered recently that three genetic mothers branched from Mitochondrial Eve and that all human beings today were derived from those lines. I’m terribly sorry to inform Mister Nye that this observation exactly agrees with the Torah account – that humanity was repopulated from the people present on Noah’s Ark. The science was done by credentialed people. Maybe presenter Nye will pronounce this paper anti-science for us, so we know?

Okay, that’s enough — for now. We expect to be hearing more about this from WorldNetDaily. They’re on a mission.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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24 responses to “WorldNetDaily’s War on Bill Nye

  1. At least Bill Nye isn’t a lawyer.

  2. The whole truth

    ‘ignorant denialists like andrew longman and other creationists out there, masquerading as scientists and spouting out-dated fantasies from the Victorian era (and earlier)’

    There, fixed that for him.

    “religious conscience”


  3. “Despite the fact that real scientists who actually do science say that all human beings descended from one human male father less than 60,000 years ago, Nye pretends Macro-Evolution is winning when Adam and Eve have reduced Macro-Evolution to a farce. We Creationists were factually correct for 6,000 years of recorded history, and Bill Nye and company were vociferously wrong for many decades.”

    So a common ancestor from 60,000 years ago is supposed to be hard evidence of a 6,000-year-old universe??? And this is a sign that Creationism is winning and that “Macro-Evolution” has been reduced to a farce?

    Uh-huh. Although I’m sure that WND’s target audience will be pumping their fists in response to the vehemence of Longman’s post. “Give ’em hell, Andy!”


  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    Sorry Longman, even if you fudge the numbers to make M. Eve just 6,000 years old, there is a ton of other evidence for evolution left to re-write, refute, or discredit. And it would be nice if you got that all in peer-reviewed journals, because the peer-review of WND just won’t cut it.

  5. Charles Deetz says: “Sorry Longman, even if you fudge the numbers to make M. Eve just 6,000 years old …”

    But … but, what are the odds that Mitochondrial Eve and her descendents would produce a female — a fertile, reproducing female — in every generation? That’s gotta be a miracle! I see the hand of the magic designer in all this. Unfortunately for Mr. Longman, he’s telling us that the world is a bit more than 6,000 years old.

  6. The whole common ancestor discovery just begs for this kind of nonsense. Very seldom in popular reporting do writers point out that it is simply a common ancestor – not the only ancestor. Everyone has thousands or more ancestors of both genders who were contemporaneous to the “Adam” y chromosome common ancestor or the “Eve” mitochondria ancestor, and the male and female common ancestors themselves were separated by more than 100,000 years.

    Given that creationists read only as far as the headline or maybe the subtitle to most science articles, they are frequently confused on this issue. (Okay, some might actually read the jacket sleeve, if it’s a book).

  7. Charley Horse

    Longman isn’t completely nutso. He rattled Dobson’s cage and advises strongly against voting for any Mormon. Especially Mitt Ryan. 🙂

    Just a bit of his article: …The problem is that Mitt Romney is a Mormon, more, he is a Temple Mormon, and Mormonism is a very aggressive cult, a deceptive religion that leads people to eternal separation from Jesus Christ of the Bible. I ought to know. I used to be a Mormon….

    [No need to quote much of that stuff.]

    Want to read more of the article?

  8. Charles Deetz ;)

    @ed I googled this and found some creationist articles where they actually did *math* to recalculate M. Eve’s age using other’s formulas … so they must have read far enough to find the formula.

  9. Ugh…as a former nuclear machinist mate in the Navy and a mechanical engineer now, I run into so many people from both those fields who seem to think they are experts in things outside their jobs or areas of study.

  10. Arrogantly ignorant. Quite a combination to attack Nye with. Perhaps this fellow should read some science before he pretends to know what he’s talking about.

  11. Chest pounding ? Bill Nye?
    I’ll have to watch that video again
    because I missed that part.I might
    have been opening a bottle of Moose
    Drool beer or something.
    Moose eat pond algae and
    simple water plants a lot,
    further proof of Noah’s Flood
    and that man did not come
    from pond scum.

  12. DangerNut, I have to ask — do you live in Anderson Township outside of Cincinnati? The “former nuclear machinist mate and Mech. engineer” made me wonder. That fits the description of a good family friend, so if so, “Hi, John.”

    And Tundra Boy, perfectly said.

  13. Very seldom in popular reporting do writers point out that it is simply a common ancestor – not the only ancestor.

    Genghis Khan is a common ancestor for nearly everyone descended from Europeans or Asians. He wasn’t the only person around though.

    My grandfather is a common ancestor to me and my cousins, but we’re all descended from other people as well, he didn’t reproduce by fission.

  14. Somehow I don’t think the creationists who are so excited about Mitochondrial Eve know what mitochondria are, much less that they are an ingrediant of primordial soup.

  15. It is unfortunate fundamentalist Christians don’t understand metaphors, because mitochondrial Eve is a metaphor. Another thing I suppose they don’t get with their voracious appetite for ignorance is that the mitochondrial DNA is not the same. By analyzing the changes they can ascertain ancient human migrations. The trumpet they are sounding is the victory of evolution.

  16. A wonderful exemplar of Advanced Humpty-Dumpteyism: not only words, but now empirical data can mean whatever one wishes it to mean!

  17. Typical creationists, they think they’ve refuted one fact about evolution and in their willfully ignorant minds they have refuted all facts about evolutions, geology, astronomy, etc. I hope Bill Nye keeps up the fight against them.

  18. I’m terribly sorry to inform Mister Nye that this observation exactly agrees with the Torah account – that humanity was repopulated from the people present on Noah’s Ark.

    Is he sorry enough to inform the Discoveroids too? Surely he knows that the only account ever specifically endorsed by any of them has all living things descended from a “designed” ancestor that lived billions of years before the supposed Ark.

  19. what 3 common ascestor women is he referring to? I’ve little doubt that there might be 3 matrilineal groups just like there likely was a mitochondrial Eve. How does this prove there was a Flood? Were these 3 even living at the same time?

  20. @TJW: I’m not sure about why 3, rather than the several branches in mitochondrial heritage, such as described in the Wikipedia article:
    Human mitochondrial DNA haplogroup

    and the links under “See also”.

  21. @ TJW: I can only assume three as Noah had three sons who had three wives. Ergo the ancestors of us all.

  22. Mr. Nye’s statement has provoked the usual disingenuous wailing about children and parental rights. I interpret those “rights” among science detractors as the unspoken mass-propaganda message of parental duty and group survival: Have as many babies as possible, then use them as the pawns they were intended to be to validate your own ignorance, as well as advance a new generation of politico-religious agendas and control freaks to prove over and over again that you were “right” and disprove the others of whom your ilk is either secretly jealous or afraid. And all of it is narcissistic in the extreme.

    These people don’t care about a good future for their children, they care about themselves in the here and now, and the glorification of their memory in the future. For instance, if Christian creationists really believed that going to heaven is what matters, then they would fill every second of this “transient life on Earth” by following Jesus’ explicit instructions for getting there. Of course in that light, a good education for themselves or their children would be superfluous, as would a good job or anything beyond mere subsistence during this short, inexplicable, test run
    on Earth.

    So why should they try to micro-manage what everyone else believes and does on the planet, or even involve themselves with politics or science debates, none of which concurs with their ultimate goals? I can only reckon that if they can coerce everyone into believing what they believe (or outnumber everyone else – hence the breeding program), things here on Earth become EASIER for them – and maybe they can earn reward points to heaven that way, rather then having to muster compassion, etc.

    Authoritarian parents, like all abusers, maintain their own comfort level, or status quo, by insular and defensive means. Thus their children are necessarily “mini-me’s” and must not learn concepts which are outside the intellectual scope or personal belief system of the parent, even if the child suffers as a result. Parents who interrupt their children’s education by trying to supplant beliefs, discredit, or otherwise alter factual subject matter that they are uncomfortable with on a personal level, are only assuaging their own feelings and harming their children as a result. This intrusion into our system of educating children will have disastrous effects on our economy (already in evidence), and I find it difficult to believe that isn’t clear to everyone, including the perpetrators!

    Of course, Mr. Nye couldn’t speak so plainly, but I can. And yes, this is a touchy nerve since our culture, indeed our biological imperatives, maintain that parents help, not hinder, their children – indeed, this might be the defining parameter of parental LOVE . Interesting but not surprisingly, those focused on the self-serving act of stealing not only theirs but everyone’s children’s education, deny fundamental biology.

  23. Eryops: “I can only assume three as Noah had three sons who had three wives. Ergo the ancestors of us all.”

    Biblical literalists then must assume that Noah’s three daughters-in-law were mermaids.

    “For God so loved the world” that He drowned everyone — well, everyone except Noah, his family, and the mermaids. Of course, they could swim much better than the unicorns.

  24. Longman points out facts you all are avoiding. Evolution dictated for years we all
    descended from many-lines of many-apes (it used to be millions, later revised to
    tens of thousands). Mitochondrial Eve and Y-chromosomal Adam
    force on you-all that all humanity descended from 1 human female, and 1 human male.
    Stop there, and digest that fact. All the objections you-all raise to this are
    trying desperately to change the subject. It doesn’t matter that mitochondrial-Eve
    and Y-chromosomal Adam cannot be demonstrated in a lab to have lived at the same
    time. It doesn’t matter that (you faith-believe) there were other contemporaries to
    m-Eve and Y-Adam. The point of fact stands as a refutation of all
    evolution has been teaching about human origins for a century. And, while rhetorically
    you try to pretend that the entire statement of Genesis must be recreated by lab science
    in order for *any* of Genesis to be affirmed by the lab, the fact remains that a
    major point of Genesis – that all humanity came from 1 human male and 1 human
    female common ancestor – is a fact from the lab, unknown until a few short years
    ago. And, this fact, in one stroke, *destroys* the evolutionary dogma that
    all people came from many-many lines of apes. You can unscientifically assert
    (by what evidence?) that many-many lines of ape-descended-women
    were hanging around when m-Eve bore her children, and then their lines all died out.
    You can unscientifically assert that m-Eve came from many-many ape-people before her.
    But you cannot prove those beliefs. What CAN be MEASURED is that all of everybody descended
    from 1 human female and 1 human male. Despite all evolutionary ranting for a
    century that such a thing could not ever have possibly happened, it is now proven
    to have happened. But now you pretend like m-Eve and Y-Adam were things you
    knew all along, instead of ‘knowing’ that we all came from many-many small changes
    to many-many lines of apes. The reality is that science, in partial and slow steps,
    keeps on revealing the Biblical record to be correct, regardless of the fact
    you-all feel much more superior by slamming people who simply say so rather than
    thinking it through dispassionately. Which ‘fact’ of evolution, if proven untrue by
    science tomorrow, will cause you to abandon it? 1 human male and 1 human female
    ancestor simultaneously rejects evolution, and affirms a major statement of Genesis,
    and frankly? You can’t rationally deal with it. What I see on these posts is so much
    inane prejudice that I do not think it possible for you to objectively consider
    the ramifcations of m-Eve and Y-Adam. Longman points out that Francis Crick considered
    life on earth to have only come from extraterrestrial intelligence.
    Are you all smarter than Crick?