This is a day to remember, dear reader. A whole new political phenomenon is about to be born, and you are a witness to that birth. Every detail of this moment will be forever seared into your memory, and years hence, when the young ones ask: “Where were you when it all got started?” you’ll be able to recall it all with perfect clarity.
What’s happening is this: Inspired by the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement, your Curmudgeon suggests the … ah, creation of an Occupy Creationism™ movement. Why not? Crazy people all over the world are running around demonstrating for their peculiar variety of madness, so why shouldn’t rational people get out there and enjoy a bit of publicity?
What would our movement do? The same thing all the other movements do — we’ll demonstrate. Our demonstrators will gather around prominent creationist institutions like creation museums, schools that teach creationism, and the official government buildings of states with creationist legislatures and governors — like Louisiana and Tennessee. Churches should be avoided, because we’re firm believers in religious freedom, so they should be left alone to preach whatever they want.
Okay, but other than showing up wearing pocket protectors, what will our demonstrators actually do? Well, what did the OWS people do? Not much, except carry signs, make noise, and march around. Well, they also behaved deplorably, but our people are intelligent and educated, so we wouldn’t do any of that bad stuff. It’ll be like a walk in the park, without littering. We’ll get permits, be respectful of the police, and we’ll even scoop up behind our dogs.
What signs will we carry? Nothing that would be deliberately insulting, like a banner proclaiming “Creationism is stupid!” We’re not looking for trouble. A few appropriate slogans come readily to mind. How about “Evolution is good science!” and maybe a Tiktaalik picture with the caption: “Meet your ancestor!” We particularly like this one: “For God’s sake, THINK!”
Okay, you in the back with a hand up — what’s your question? You say “THINK” is okay, but you don’t want to mention God? Look, we’re not a bunch of business machine salesmen. The slogan we suggest is fine. You don’t have to carry that one if you don’t want to.
Anyway, that’s the general idea. Will our movement accomplish anything? No, probably not. Adult creationists are almost always incurable. But it’ll give us a few interesting afternoons when the weather is pleasant, and that’s not bad. Besides, why should crazy people have all the fun?
Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.