Creationist Wisdom #274: Okie from Muskogee

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Muskogee Phoenix of Muskogee, Oklahoma The letter is titled Evolution proves ungodly folly.

We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do, we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. However, you should know that today’s letter is by the same man whose work inspired us to write Creationist Wisdom #266: Jesus a Monkey? That was one of the best letters of its type we had ever seen, but today’s letter may be even better. Okay, here it comes:

Once upon a time a princess kissed a frog and it turned into a handsome prince. True story, according to the majority of scientists. Only instead of a magic kiss, they believe in a mysterious billions of years that turned ocean snot into man. Science? Hardly. Ungodly folly? You bet.

We evolved from ocean snot! And the letter is just getting started:

Psalm 14:1 declares that fools say there is no God. The apostate Charles Darwin didn’t want to believe in God, so he devised the modern theory of evolution to explain the universe’s existence apart from God. So according to scripture, Darwin was a fool and all that subscribe to his anti-God theory are idiots. Should Christians listen to a pack of fools to tell us how we got here?

You’re all fools for believing Darwin’s theory of the universe! The bible says so! Let’s read on:

The fact that the majority of scientists believe in evolution doesn’t make it real. 1 John 5:19 says that the whole world lies in wickedness. Evolutionists are simply part of the wicked unbelieving world.

You’re not only fools, you’re wicked fools! We continue:

Isaac Newton, Louis Pasteur and Henry Morris are but a few of the thousands of scientists who did and do believe that scientific evidence supports special creation, the earth’s young age, Noah’s flood, etc., instead of evolution. These men are genuine scientists every bit as much, if not more so, than evolutionary scientists.

Newton, Pasteur, and Henry Morris. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Here’s more:

Marx, Stalin and Hitler partially based their theories and horrific actions on evolution.

Oh yeah! Moving along:

Likewise, the general hopelessness and evil of our time is the direct result of evolutionary indoctrination. After all, if we’re just glorified monkeys and there’s no God, what’s the point of anything and why shouldn’t we live however we want? Only belief in God and his work gives life real purpose.

Here’s the last of it:

Mindless, uncaring evolution wouldn’t have made food be not only nutritious but delicious, or given us an appreciation for the world’s beauty. Nor would it have given the human race our “feeling after God” spoken of in Acts 17:27.

Ah, to be an Okie from Muskogee!

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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23 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #274: Okie from Muskogee

  1. “Mindless, uncaring evolution wouldn’t have made food be not only nutritious but delicious”

    ID is responsible for obesity? I’m free at last!!! Back later, touring the drive throughs till the cash runs out!

  2. I’m surprised that a newpaper actually prints that kind of trash, certainly doesn’t say much for the people or the editors.

  3. As I posted earlier on this letter writer, that newspaper has in the past pubished editorials supporting evolution and opposing creationist legislation. They also have posted response letters each time one of these creationist fictions are published. There will be a response again to this letter. If you check the comments on previous creationist letters there, you will see lots of responders who do not accept that creationst’s garbage. As small town papers (and even the awful metropolitan paper in Oklahoma City) in this reddest of states go, this one is an exception.

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    This letter highlights the biggest problem with creationists … they see evolution and atheism as interconnected. Just because atheists believe in evolution doesn’t mean that believing in evolution makes you an atheist (or as this writer makes it seem, a militant atheist).

    So what does the writer think of the many denominations that accept evolution … are they wicked, too?

  5. Darwin had a theory of the universe?! I must have missed that all I can find is his work in biology, nothing about cosmology or even physics.

    I love how they cited Henry morris with Newton and Pasteur, implying Morris is comprable. I saw a dog wearing a hat a few months back and occasionally. I still smile at that image. This will keep me going for a long time.

  6. I wonder if the writer of this letter ever heard of George LeMaitre.
    I only learned recently (thanks to BBC radio) that LeMaitre, a Catholic priest, is credited with coming up with what is now known as the ‘Big Bang’ theory. This must really frost some of the fundamentalists.

  7. Ceteris Paribus

    If we evolved from ocean snot, why is there still phlegm?

  8. Sometimes evolution is evident …..
    Sometimes it snot.

  9. Ceteris Paribus says: “If we evolved from ocean snot, why is there still phlegm?”

    I, for one, am not ashamed of my mucoid ancestry.

  10. If the designer only had a Kleenex, none of us would be here today…

  11. @Charles Deetz 😉

    Yes, Episcopalians are wicked. Thanks for asking.
    BTW, the letter writer is not only illiterate in the area of science, his Biblical exegesis sucks.

  12. “Many races believe that the Universe was created by some sort of god or in the Big Bang. The Jatravartid people, however, believe that the Universe was sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure. They live in perpetual fear of the time they call “The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief” (their version of the End of the Universe). The theory of the Great Green Arkleseizure is not widely accepted outside Viltvodle VI.”'s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Jatravartids

  13. @TA: AH! You beat me to it!

  14. Episcopalians, ha! Ann Coulter said “that’s hardly a religion.”

    Can you say SATAN????

  15. I see the paper has stopped using the bogus AP citations. =)

  16. Dean says: “I see the paper has stopped using the bogus AP citations.”

    Yeah. I donno what that was all about.

  17. AP hasn’t replied to my email. I doubt they will. Their removal is good enough for me.

  18. Sometimes evolution is evident …..
    Sometimes it snot.

    That comment I wasn’t even expectorant.

  19. If we evolved from ocean snot, why is there still phlegm?

    That’s why the Lord created ipecac. Mindless, uncaring evolution wouldn’t have made medicine be not only nutritious, but delicious.

  20. Well, I’ve changed a flat tire in Muskogee. Its a beautiful part of the state. I’ll go and see if I can retrieve some reality for my friends in the east. Yes, I know its hopless, but I can’t resist. It’s too much fun.
    Minion of O

  21. I ate at a Chinese restaurant in Muskogee but the chicken was rubbery.

    The next year when I passed through town the restaurant was gone, replaced by a Tire Repair Center.

  22. Jim Thomerson

    I don’t recall the details of the basis of the ocean snot comment. However, there was a phenomenon of snot like material appearing in samples from ocean dredging, This was thought by some to be the primordial origin of life material. It turned out that it was a precipitation product of something reacting with the preservative alcohol. Anyone know the details?

  23. @DocBill: Was their rubber chickeny?