This is a special post about David McConaghie, who — until very recently — was a high-ranking party official of Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionist Party (the DUP). As we previously informed you (see Creationist Suspected of Bathroom Voyeurism), he’s been arrested in connection with the discovery of a toilet camera found in the loo of DUP member David Simpson’s constituency office.
McConaghie was also the media officer for the Caleb Foundation, a creationist lobbying organization that appears to be the ideological brains behind the Democratic Unionist Party. However, their website (scroll down to Caleb Forum Has Been Closed) says that he “has voluntarily stepped down from the Caleb Foundation.”
In the UK, one of our far-flung network of clandestine operatives — code named “Blackwatch” — has once again come through with an extra-ordinary coup for our humble blog, for which he will be amply rewarded from the overflowing coffers of the all-powerful Darwinite Hegemony. He has located and conducted an exclusive interview with the police official who, ah … cracked the David McConaghie toilet camera case.
Throughout this post, the officer will be referred to only as “Inspector X,” as he fears for his life and wants his anonymity preserved — a request we will certainly honor. What follows is the complete text of that interview, which is available only here on your Curmudgeon’s blog.
Blackwatch: We understand that nothing’s been proven yet, and he’s still only a suspect, but what caused you to think it was McConaghie?
Inspector X: I’ve had lots of experience with creationists — whackos, all of them. And it seems that the higher up they are, the more likely it is that they’re doing things like this. We’ve had our eye on the Caleb Foundation for quite a while.
Blackwatch: What’s the problem with creationists?
Inspector X: Well, some might say they’re getting a bum rap (so to speak), but as you can see from this toilet camera business, we know what we’re doing.
Blackwatch: What do you think attracts people like that to the Dark Side?
Inspector X: I’m no psychologist, but it’s something about how they’re raised — all that creationist preaching. They end up warped.
Blackwatch: Isn’t that a rather harsh indictment of all creationists?
Inspector X: Look, I’m just a detective. But you must agree that those blokes and their toilet cameras deserve their, ah … stained reputation.
Blackwatch: How did you trace that toilet camera to McConaghie?
Inspector X: We knew it was probably placed in that loo by a creationist — one who was active in the movement (no pun) so that he had free access to the offices. I suspected McConaghie straightaway. It was just a matter of, shall we say, flushing him out. But I can’t reveal our operating techniques. The results will have to speak for themselves.
Blackwatch: Do you find your work satisfying?
Inspector X: It’s no fun, dealing with the — ahem! — underside of society, but someone has to do it.
Blackwatch: Indeed. I’m told your organization has a branch in America. Are there any cases over there that you’re working on?
Inspector X: In this business, one must always be probing, but that’s really all I can say right now.
Blackwatch: Thank you, Inspector. And congratulations!
So there you are, dear reader. Another threat to society has been wiped out.
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