This is the sort of thing that makes blogging worthwhile. Yesterday, NASA (the National Aeronautics and Space Administration) issued this press release: NASA Seeks Concepts for Innovative Uses of Large Space Telescopes. It says:
NASA is exploring options for innovative and imaginative uses of two large space telescopes recently transferred to the agency. In a request for information (RFI) published Monday, NASA seeks information about system concepts and architectures that would take advantage of these assets to address NASA’s goals in astrophysics, heliophysics, planetary sciences, and human spaceflight.
NASA wants our help. Isn’t this exciting? Let’s see what else they say:
“Because there are two telescopes, there is room for projects that span the gamut of the imagination,” said Michael Moore —
Please forgive the mid-sentence interruption, but … Michael Moore? That bloated pile of poop is at NASA? No, say it ain’t so! It’s gotta be some other guy with a very unfortunate name. Let’s resume the press release where we left off:
— said Michael Moore, a senior program executive at NASA Headquarters in Washington. “They range from simple balloon flights to complex missions in science using new technologies under development and the capabilities available with the International Space Station and our commercial space flight partners.”
Ah, they’re talking about this guy: Michael R. Moore. Poor fellow, he’s undoubtedly heard all the jokes and he doesn’t think they’re funny. He’s right, so we’ll drop it.
Does the press release have anything else we need to know? Here’s one more excerpt:
The RFI [request for information] invites interested parties to provide an outline of their concept in enough detail for a next-step assessment by NASA as it prepares for future investments in diverse areas of science and technology. Respondents who submit the most interesting concepts will be invited to present their ideas at a workshop in Huntsville, Ala., in early February 2013.
This is a great opportunity, dear reader. NASA is offering to use its facilities to aid you in your research. Naturally, your Curmudgeon sees this as a chance to further the interests of our humble blog. What we’d like NASA to do with those resources is devote them to the cause of creationism. However, because creationists are unfamiliar with the methods of science, we’ll have to help them by offering some ideas they can propose to NASA.
In order to do that, it’s necessary to think like a creationist. You know how it’s done. Bend over … waaaaay over. Place your head firmly — well, you know what to do. All right now, with your head lodged in the proper position, start thinking! If you were a creationist with NASA’s resources available to you, what would you do? We’ll offer a few of our own ideas, and then let’s see what you can suggest.
Surely the Discoveroids — described in the Cast of Characters section of our Intro page — have some really dandy intelligent design research ideas that NASA could pursue. Just think — NASA could search for the celestial home of the Intelligent Designer — blessed be he! — or at least they could search for evidence of his existence. No doubt the Discoveroids have many other areas of research they could suggest. After all, they claim that they’re scientists, right?
NASA could also help Ken Ham and the gang at Answers in Genesis by turning those powerful instruments earthward to search for — and find! — the remains of Noah’s Ark. At last the proof will be available, and all those hell-bound Darwinists will stop laughing at Hambo and his followers.
And we have one more idea — you knew this was coming. Our last idea is inspired by the career of a famous and politically powerful creationist in the UK — David McConaghie. Surely you remember him (see Creationist Suspected of Bathroom Voyeurism). Just imagine what he and his — ahem! — movement could accomplish with NASA’s mighty instrument.
Okay, that’s what we suggest. Perhaps you can do better.
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