Curmudgeon’s Creative Challenge #6

The last contest we ran was back in June. We’re long overdue for another.

To remind you of all the intellectual thrills we’ve provided in the past, our earlier contests were: #1 (Creationism is to evolution as _____ is to _______), followed by #2 (The typical Discoveroid’s next job will be _______), and then #3 (The Discoveroids are the dregs of _____), and then #4 (The creationists’ biggest lie is _____), and most recently #5 (Can _____ be defended using only scientific terms?).

Today’s contest was inspired by David McConaghie, who — until recently — was a high-ranking party official of Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionist Party (the DUP). As we previously informed you (see Creationist Suspected of Bathroom Voyeurism), he’s been arrested in connection with the discovery of a toilet camera found in the loo of DUP member David Simpson’s constituency office.

McConaghie was also the media officer for the Caleb Foundation, a creationist lobbying organization that appears to be the ideological brains behind the Democratic Unionist Party. However, their website (scroll down to Caleb Forum Has Been Closed) says that he “has voluntarily stepped down from the Caleb Foundation.” A pity, really. Just as his work was starting to, ah … bear fruit.

Our most inspired post about about McConaghie was Essential Creationist Gear: Toilet Camera. But while we’ve been using the expression “toilet camera,” which is also being used by the press, our reader Megalonyx calls it a “Can-Cam,” and that is the Genesis (so to speak) of today’s contest.

This is your challenge, dear reader:

What shall we call a creationist toilet camera?

We’ll get things started with a few suggestions of our own: (1) privy peeper, and (2) bathroom bug. Those are okay, but they’re somewhat humdrum and they fail to capture the key element of creationism, so there’s definitely room for improvement.

You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully. That’s the really challenging part of today’s contest — being tasteful.

Your Curmudgeon will decide if there’s a winner, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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53 responses to “Curmudgeon’s Creative Challenge #6

  1. Charley Horse

    Fundiak 6000….with LooTube app

  2. In the spirit of the season, (and with apologies to “The Simpsons”) how about “Satan’s Little Helper” ?

  3. David Williams

    Peek a loo.

  4. David Williams

    Loo view

  5. Charles Deetz ;)

    God’s eye.

  6. Hind-sight

  7. Ye Monocle of Kohler

  8. A-holey vision

  9. Charles Deetz ;)

    Discovery In-the-loo–te.

  10. Answers in GeneCistern

  11. WCTV

  12. Original cinema (sin-ame).

    So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”
    Genesis 3:9-11

  13. The Pooper Snooper

  14. Cameras Number I and Number II.

  15. The pooperazzi.

  16. Lewis Thomasonn

    Anal Vision

  17. Asses Engender Us

  18. Riddle-of-the-sphincters cam.

  19. Privates eye

  20. Regardless of what it’s called, the scene-to-scene transition method would undoubtably be a “wipe.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wipe_(transition)

  21. Gives new meaning to “streaming video”

  22. A “happy-slappy-snappy”

  23. Answers in porcelain.

  24. Creationism in a can

  25. Wonderful washroom worldviewer.

  26. Holy-Bowl-o-Roll-OhNo-Photo

    Now to go back and read the others. 🙂

  27. Answers In Genitals

  28. Stickler, that’s great …. “Answers in Genitals” gets my vote.

  29. The Mal de Bain of Upper Bann.

  30. Or better yet…
    “The Mal de Bain Boy of Upper Bann.”

  31. RSG is on a roll!

    Godly Goggles

    Or maybe just …

    Criminal Behavior

  32. Nah. Try the Diogenes version, “Asses Engender Us”, for the one that made me laugh.

  33. Oh, poot, this isn’t layering comments properly. OK, to Realist 1948, who said

    Stickler, that’s great …. “Answers in Genitals” gets my vote.

    here’s my reply:

    Nah. Try the Diogenes version, “Asses Engender Us”, for the one that made me laugh.

  34. Thanks, TA! Here’s another lame offering — “Fartography” (that’s when there’s no solid evidence).

    Talk about being on a roll, how about Realist1948? Especially like “Hind-sight” and the observation that “Regardless of what it’s called, the scene-to-scene transition method would undoubtably be a “wipe.”

  35. Cloaca Visibility?

  36. retiredsciguy, you’re definitely wandering close to (and over) the linguistic border. Please remember that this is a classy blog, so try to keep your remarks tasteful.

  37. OK, Curmie. Feel free to remove any that are objectionable. My feelings won’t be hurt. The subject matter brings out the worst in me.

    How about Creation Research Anatomical Photography? The resulting photos would then be CRAPper Snaps.

  38. I can’t add to the answers above, so I’ll add my 2c to the last 5 questions:

    1. Defending a serial killer is to teaching a child to think for himself
    2. Peddler of Holocaust denial
    3. The anti-evolution movement
    4. That they don’t promote censorship and their critics do
    5. “Don’t ask, don’t tell what happened when”

  39. Hamcorder

  40. Assaying Genitals

    — Diogenes

  41. The Biblical Canon

  42. “I want my BMTV!”