Shattered. Hopelessly shattered. That was the condition in which we found our Retard-o-tron™.
Just before it shrieked in agony and then exploded it had alerted us to an article in WorldNetDaily (WND) — described in the Cast of Characters section of our Intro page. It’s in their honor that our jolly buffoon logo is displayed above this post.
Warily we clicked over there. Beneath a banner that declared: WND Exclusive — which indicated that they were very proud of this item, we saw the headline: See most dramatic UFO videos ever.
UFOs? Well, yeah — why wouldn’t WND be promoting UFOs? Any outfit that embraces creationism is likely to be interested in other wacko phenomena. But UFOs alone couldn’t be enough to destroy the Retard-o-tron™. We needed to learn what had happened. Here’s a tiny sample of what we found, with bold font added by us:
There’s a new TV show that’s too hot for TV. It’s called “The Watchers,” a fast-paced, engaging, hour-long series hosted by L.A. Marzulli that, unlike other shows about strange phenomenon, lives up to its promises.
Marzulli? We never heard of the guy. Besides, how could a TV show destroy our equipment? We kept reading:
Do you want to see the most dramatic UFO videos ever – those actually released by foreign governments hoping for explanation? What are these strange “orbs” that are increasingly common around the world and easily captured on video? Are these phenomena extraterrestrial in origin or are they inter-dimensional and spiritual in nature?
Our guess is that they’re inter-dimensional — and their hidden realm is almost certainly connected to the seventh planet. Hey — WND has a video you can click on, and they say that they’re selling five full episodes of the show at their bookstore. We’re not impressed yet, so lets read on:
Why are sinkholes suddenly appearing all over the earth? And is there an increase in volcanoes and earthquakes, or does it just seem that way? Also, meet a doctor who specializes in removing alien implants from hundreds of patients. Check out episode 2 of “The Watchers” for the lowdown.
This is getting interesting! We must continue:
Are there unknown objects around the sun in our very own solar system? What about the Shroud of Turin? Is it really the burial cloth of Jesus? Find out on episode 3 of “The Watchers.”
The article has several more videos we could click on, but we’re not ready for that. Let’s just keep reading:
What is the significance of the numbers 13-13-13 and 12,111? And is there a cover-up spanning generations to hide the truth about the Nephilim – the giants and mighty men of old from the Bible? Explore these topics with Marzulli in episode 4 of “The Watchers.”
Amazing — it just gets better and better! Here’s one last excerpt:
And don’t miss the examination of another new and strange phenomenon – that of the appearance of the “black-eyed children” who appear at hotels and car windows, even on boats at sea! They appear with a singular purpose – they want to be invited in! Who or what are they? Demons? Alien hybrids? Urban legends? … What significance, if any, does the word “Obama” have in the Bible codes, referencing the Gog and Magog war? … Is the “Hollow Earth” theory credible? All that and more in episode 5 of “The Watchers.”
Oh yeah — hollow Earth. They couldn’t leave that out. Well, there you are, dear reader. While you’re thinking things over, we’ll be installing a new Retard-o-tron™. We always have a spare lying around.
But seriously — you have a big decision to make. Will you continue to dwell in ignorance? Or do you have the courage to visit WND, read the whole article, and then buy all the episodes of “The Watchers”? If you do, and if you study each one carefully, then what? Then you can tear off your clothes and run screaming through the streets that you know the truth about what exists behind the false facade called the universe.
Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.