Creationist Wisdom #296: Universal Laws

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Herald and News of Klamath Falls, Oregon. It’s titled Intelligence is akin to recognizable order. We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do, we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Okay, here we go:

The concept of intelligent design can not be better exemplified than by our understanding of evolution. [Aaaargh!!] The obvious counterpoint to intelligent design is chaos.

Yes, chaos is the only alternative. There’s no such thing as Spontaneous order. Okay, dear reader, now that the universe has been explained, let us continue:

Have you noticed the wonderful presence of intelligence in solar systems? The smallest element of chaos, the slightest imbalance in solar systems would make moot this discussion because we could then not exist here in this planetary reality.

He’s right again! Were it otherwise, then we’d see evidence of imbalance — possibly in the form of something really sloppy like an asteroid belt, and we’d also see lots of meteor craters on various celestial bodies. But everything is smooth and wonderful. Let’s read on:

That the evolutionary process is understood as process that persists over millions of years establishes intelligence over chaos. Were I of a more scientific bend of mind I could better describe the wonders of intelligent design throughout existence.

There’s no need for the letter-writer to be so modest. He’s doing fine. The letter continues:

The marvel of colder water sinking in lakes only to rise again insuring that ice forms on the surface and life-forms can exist below is amazing. More can be said but the point is made.

Yes, and it’s a good point! Here’s more:

I need to point out here that I do not believe in gods. I find them too small, too needy, too human. What works for me to explain “intelligence” is the notion of a source within whose infinite potentiality exists four Universal Laws that organize perceived existence.

Four Universal Laws? Oh goodie, we’re always delighted to learn. Here they are — or at least one of them:

The first of the laws is the Law of Attraction. This law, often understood as the “like attracts like” law, coalesces out of the chaos of infinite potentiality recognizable order.

Like attracts like? Ah, so that’s why electrons attract each other. Protons too. Now we understand! Here’s the end of the letter. It’s pure gold, and we urge you to study it carefully:

This organizing principle working within eternity coalesced self-aware aspects of source both large and small (like us) and it is the intelligence associated with these self-aware aspects working with source that is ever creating the universe that is ever becoming — or so I believe.

That was wonderful! Where else can you find wisdom like that? Okay, dear reader, now go forth and spread the word!

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #296: Universal Laws

  1. A little knowledge is truly a dangerous thing. Well maybe more embarrassing than dangerous.

    I have no doubt that the author does not believe in “gods”, your not being dishonest when you only believe in one god and make such a statement, only deceitful.


  2. Right, chaos, like the end of that letter.

  3. Charley Horse

    I want to see the debate between this writer and the
    Time Cuber….but not today….

  4. MaryL says: “Right, chaos, like the end of that letter.”

    I’m sure that if he had given us the other three Universal Laws, everything would fall into place.

  5. Pete Moulton

    I looked this clown up on the internet, and he’s apparently a lawyer, just like little Casey. Why is it that people who have no science background whatever think they know so much more about evolutionary theory than people who’ve studied biology their whole careers?

  6. Seriously disappointed; I went to the article to find out what the other three laws were, but he didn’t list them. Perhaps they are Asimov’s laws of robotics. I’m left with an emptiness that only beer can fill. Alas I have an hour and a half before I can satisfy my thirst for knowledge.

  7. Tripp in Georgia

    Yes! The wonders of the universe! How about the wonders of human psychology? This ‘thought disorder’ type of writing and speech is fascinating. I wonder what kinds of folks like and agree with this type of stuff. It almost sounds like religion – with a focus on fake science but no magical characters (except, of course, for ‘the source’). Amazing!

  8. Actually, it sounds like talks given by Stephen Meyer. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard Meyer claim that he was going to lay out the “theory of ID” and never quite get around to it. Then, oh my, look at the time! Toodle-loo! Or Paul Nelson’s “Seven Things” list that he can’t even remember Number One. Or Berlinski’s “50,000 Changes!” for which, oh, gee, can’t remember a single one. But, really, folks, Fifty Thousand!

    I think these guys get all flustered when you ask them a question because …

    … you know what’s coming ! …


  9. “Like attracts like”? So, by his reasoning, homosexuality is perfectly natural. Ain’t science wonderful?

  10. My friends, I believe Curmy (I hear this pronunciation of “Curmie” every time I read that) has discovered the FIRST non-religious creationist. This guy is no fundie Christian; he’s a hippy! With his statement,

    What works for me to explain “intelligence” is the notion of a source within whose infinite potentiality exists four Universal Laws that organize perceived existence.

    we have all the evidence we need that he’s a tree-hugging believer (changes to Hippy at Peace voice) “in the Eternal Goodness of All Things, with The Powers of The Universe to Behold.” He won’t hold Communion; he’ll stand on some cliff and Become One with The Good Energy of The Universe.
    That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

  11. doodlebugger

    Obviously there is Ganja involved here, as well as Haile Selassie reverence,
    some Hare Krishna, astrology, ice fishing(he had to have been born in Minnesota based on the life below ice thing) and maybe a few New Mexico mushroom buttons.
    Could be Coppedge writing under his stage name too.
    Either way, it is good, very good.

  12. Alex Shuffell

    That is what happens when you try to learn science from dating websites.

  13. Holy Word-salad, Batman!

  14. Scoff if you like, Longie, but I find it very inspirational.

  15. By far the most wondrous, awe-inspiring trait of the Intelligent Designer is its ability to completely cover its tracks. Somehow it manages to keep track of all its miracles and distribute them so that they avoid violating the law of averages, which must have been one of the Four Universal Laws the correspondent had in mind.

    Somehow the Designer wielded the power to control all the events that ever happened, right down to the subatomic level, and guide their consequences to make the Universe look EXACTLY like we would expect if it had developed entirely through a spontaneous sequence of random operations of natural processes.

    The fact that on careful examination it doesn’t look the slightest bit miraculous is the best evidence I can think of to believe that our Universe is all one astounding miracle.

  16. Well, he has caused me to look at the phrase, “I am absolutely speechless,” to a whole new level. What did he say?