Creationist Wisdom #303: Eeeee-vil-u-tion

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Daily Republic of Mitchell, South Dakota. It’s titled Evolution is a false religion being taught. We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do, we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Okay, here we go:

The theory of evolution makes me so angry. I was wondering if anybody thinks about the first two syllables of the word and sees what it sounds like: Evil.

Hey, that’s right! When you stop to think about it, it’s eeeee-vil-u-tion. This is going to be a great letter. Here’s more:

People have made evolution an idol. They worship it. If anybody looks up the word religion in the dictionary, they will find the meaning of it is any system of faith and worship, and the people that teach it do worship it.

The letter-writer knows exactly what he’s talking about! Let’s read on:

Therefore, if they worship it, it’s a religion, and if it’s a religion, what about the new socalled law of separation of church and state? They should not be able to teach this false religion in the schools any more than they forbid the true, Christian religion.

Yeah — why are they allowed to teach evolution and not the true religion? We love this letter! It continues:

I want to reiterate [so soon?], they are teaching a false religion in our schools. And, it says in the Bible that if anyone causes a little one to stumble it would be better for them that a milestone [sic] would be hung about their neck and tossed into the sea than to face what they’re going to have to face.

You’ve been warned, dear reader. Stop causing the little ones to stumble! Let’s keep reading:

I don’t believe that the religion evolution should be taught in schools. Also, I believe that the religion Christianity should be taught in schools.

Somehow we already guessed that was his opinion, but it’s good to have it clarified. Here’s how he ends the letter:

Something else I think everybody should think about: it also talks in the Bible about how in the end days people will be calling good evil and evil good.

Well! That was certainly a refreshing letter. It had none of the usual mumbo-jumbo about specified complexity, being Expelled!, “Were you there?,” micro-macro, or strengths and weaknesses. Just plain old fashioned, in-your-face, bible-based rejection of science. Why can’t they all be this honest?

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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22 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #303: Eeeee-vil-u-tion

  1. Charles Deetz ;)

    I’ve had some milestones put on me at work, I understand how terrible they are. Save me, please!

  2. I don’t believe that the religion evolution should be taught in schools.

    What! Evolution is a religion? Wow and I’ve just put a cold towel over my head (it’s hot here underside), and these words from the late great Frank Zappa from his first album “Freak Out”, 1996 1966, resonate to me…

    Mister America
    Walk on by
    Your schools that do not teach
    Mister America
    Walk on by
    The minds that won’t be reached
    Mister America
    Try to hide
    The emptiness that’s you inside
    When once you find that the way you lied
    And all the corny tricks you tried
    Will not forestall the rising tide of
    Hungry freaks, Daddy . . .

  3. it would be better for them that a milestone would be hung about their neck and tossed into the sea

    A milestone? Oh, of course. To see how far they’ve fallen.

  4. In the name of balance and ‘fairness’, it behooves us to consider the first two syllables of ‘Creationism’ and consider what terms come to mind.

    Lemme see:…cretin…creosote…crap…

  5. if anybody thinks about the first two syllables of the word and sees what it sounds like: Evil.

    First two syllables are eh and vuh. The L sound is in the third syllable.

  6. It’s people like this writer that the Discoveriods and ICR’ers wish would keep quite. Honesty like this rips away the propaganda they spend so much time promoting.

  7. Sorry, my date for the FZ album should have read 1966.
    @Megalonyx “crummy” could go on the list too.

  8. JG says: “A milestone? Oh, of course.”

    Good catch. I had missed that. So I just added a “sic” to the post.

  9. Megalonyx says:

    it behooves us to consider the first two syllables of ‘Creationism’ and consider what terms come to mind.

    “Creation” sounds like cremation, and that brings to mind the Lake of Fire, which is where you’re going.

  10. what about the new socalled law of separation of church and state?

    New? It must take a while for news to reach Mitchell, South Dakaota, population 15,254. This principle was defined before SD was a state, or even a territory.

    I shouldn’t poke fun at Mitchell, it’s not polite and they do have a lovely Corn Palace (per wikipedia). Not every town has a Corn Palace. Perhaps it is the home of worship of the corn god, a recurring feature of this documentary strip… http://amultiverse.com/

  11. Christine Janis

    One of the comments. I didn’t think it was possible for things to get any worse ——-

    “Thank you for your letter. You are absolutely right on every point. The godless will mock and scoff at any opposition to their agenda. They deny their own creator. They seek to become the creators and in so doing, little gods themselves. It’s exactly what the angel Lucifer atempted to do. It’s the same lie that was told in the garden. There are even preachers creeping in unawares into the mainstream church who teach these lies.

    “Parents, stay close to your children and teach them the truth.

    “Thanks again for your thoughtful letter.”

  12. Wow. This has to one of the worst written letters that I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s broken disjointed, lacks any semblance of order or logic. It’s point can be summed up in one sentence but the letter writer drags it out for several paragraphs while failing to present an argument.

  13. Jim Thomerson

    I suppose honest ignorance is to be preferred to dishonest ignorance. Honest ignorance is curable, but dishonest ignorance avoids the cure.

  14. “E” rhymes with “P” and that stands for “pool”.

  15. Hah! I beat you for once! 🙂

    http://dododreams.blogspot.com/2013/02/facepalm-redux.html

    I love the fact that he thinks the “new” concept of seperation of church and state prevents the “religion” of evolution being taught in public schools but, at the same time, he wants Xianism taught. Massive illogic would be amusing if there wasn’t so many voters who agreed with him.

  16. John Pieret says: “Hah! I beat you for once!”

    No problem. A blogger can’t afford to have any pride.

  17. Ceteris Paribus

    re: “Eeeee-vil-u-tion”;

    “Creationism’ … cretin…creosote…crap…”;

    “Creation” sounds like cremation,…”;

    E” rhymes with “P” and that stands for “pool”.

    I just reply with a big “Hell e lujah!”

    Brothers and Sisters, can we hear someone out there say “A-hem”?

  18. Wow.Gosh SC, This letter writer has it all figured out.
    Which brings me to a conclusion. Fighting twin phantoms, ignorance and superstition, I have found, is taking from my passions, geology and the life
    of the mind. Today I have to hit the office but am carving out a few hours for the Perot Science Museum first.
    Affirming my values should involve more achievement in science and
    less time examing the details of stupidity displayed by the ignorant.
    Its like shoveling s.:x against the tide. Once I realized I wouldn’t take the time or energy to confront the Cargills, Luskins and McLeroys directly at
    SBOE as I was recently asked to do by their new executive committee secreatary Mavis Knight, Ii knew I am a minor player among 300 million
    I realized I’m just a lone insignificant voice out here, taking too much time away from my passions.
    I am a huge admirer SC, and a big fan of the people who frequent your excellent blog. Ive learned a lot and will practice my creationist whack skills when called for.
    I continue to learn so much here and am well prepared to confront the stupids when they appear.
    Take no prisoners Curman (The Barbarian) You ‘re awesome
    I ‘ll be around.
    🙂

  19. Thank you, doodlebugger, but I am merely a chronicler of our times.

  20. Wonder if the letter-writer is a Mitchell School Board member. Or a dentist. Or both.

    Anonymous: “First two syllables are eh and vuh. ”

    Evolution for eh vuh and eh vuh.

  21. It evokes images of Archie Bunker sitting in his chair ranting at “Meathead”. While most of what we hear about is posturing and contorting to shoehorn into science to get evolution into public schools this is the mindset and level of sophistication of most of creationists.

  22. This has to be a Poe. Has to be. Oh, please, it has to be.