Wonders at the AIG Gift Shop

You know we’re desperate for news when we have to visit the gift shop at Answers in Genesis — described in the Cast of Characters section of our Intro page. But they never disappoint us. Here are a few of the goodies we discovered.

First, you can guy the Full Armor of God Playset, cost $29.99. described as follows:

Based on the spiritual warfare passage in Ephesians 6, this 7-piece play armor set includes the following plastic pieces: Helmet of Salvation, Breastplate of Righteousness, Belt of Truth, Spirit-of-the-Word Sword, and 2 Shield of Faith, Shin Guard

Next, and you’re going to love this, is the Dinosaur Yo-Yo. It’s only $4.99. The description says:

This wooden yo-yo has the dinosaur design on one side with Genesis 1:25, and the other side is inscribed with “Creation Museum, Prepare to believe.” A great gift or fun souvenir to remember your visit to the Creation Museum.

But wait — there’s more! If you want something that’s sure to make an impression on that special someone, yet doesn’t cost too much, consider giving the Creation Wristband. It’s only $1.99, described like this:

Make a quick and powerful statement with these evangelistic wristbands! Available in blue and orange. Color: blue — Text: In the beginning … Gen. 1:1 / answersingenesis.org. Color: orange — Text: Prepare to Believe / creationmuseum.org

There’s more at the AIG gift shop, but those are the items that really impressed us. Well, what are you waiting for?

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Wonders at the AIG Gift Shop

  1. I think the yo-yo says it all perfectly!!

  2. What more could a little boy ask for (girls not included)? Body armor to go out and slay non-believers, a yo-yo that can act as a bolas weapon in an emergency to kill those still present dinosaurs in our world, and a Paley style watch designed by non other than the great designer himself!

  3. Holding the Line in Florida

    You just have to check out the cirricular and educational sections. Some of the best comedy I have read in a while.
    History: “These top-quality history textbooks start at the beginning—roughly 6,000 years ago. Unlike the “politically correct,” evolution influenced public school curriculum, this biblically-based curricula shows students the real history of the world!”
    The Science is even better. “Start their science education early—before evolution-laced secular media claims another heart by creating distrust of the Bible and disbelief in God.” You gotta love it!

  4. How much for a framed picture of JC riding a T. rex?

  5. Cheap (though overprieced) made in china crap that ultra-religious grandparents can give their grandchildren to make them believe they are enhancing their religious education against the secular tide. It gets worn for an hour or two of playtime after which its cheap and uncomfortable tie downs break or come undone and it ends up in the next yard sale or maybe even the trash. Better stick with that savings bond grandma!

  6. Realist1948

    The dino yo-yo says “And God saw it was good.” If that’s true, why then are dinosaurs now extinct?

    A. And God issued a product recall.
    B. And God said, “Aw, $h!t, I goofed.
    C. And Noah said, “Sorry, no room for you guys. Go stand with the unicorns.”

  7. DickVanstone

    That armor set sounds like what Holy Diver/Shore Leave wears in The Venture Bros.! I believe it’s missing the Loin-girding Codpiece of Truth.

    I’m just itching for the new season!

    Thanks for the laughs, and I have been really enjoying perusing the site.

  8. “Helmet of Salvation, Breastplate of Righteousness, Belt of Truth, Spirit-of-the-Word Sword, and 2 Shield of Faith”?

    You would love Bibleman!

  9. doodlebugger

    I want one of each of these neat gadgets please….
    And is it just me, or does John Freshwater look like David Coppedge crossed with a beaver?
    And why do so many creationists look like gerbils or chipmunks?The similarity between Coppedge and Freshwater is eerie. Big squirrels with spectacles. Why doesn’t AIG have a Coppedge doll. Ask it a serious questionand it gets a headache.
    And whats it like to get all those injections of designer juice constatntly?
    Do you just go spinning off into designer cartoon land and OD on
    conspiracy theories?
    The Rutherford Institute sent Faye Dunaway to argue Freshwater’s appeal
    yesterday. I would think she would have had enough after the whole “Little Big Man” spectacle but I guess shes still out there making a spectacle of herself. AIG needs to make a Rutherford doll too. A clothespin with some smeary lipstick and a big butt would work. And man, has she gained some weight since her movie career ended Wow. But the cardiagn sweater dress frumpy disheveled look thing she has going on is very “GQ
    for the bohemian” , in a matronly overweight kind of way. Can AIG add a memorial Dunaway dress complete with sweater pills and wrinkly stuff to the catalog. It could be a big hit.
    Finally, I really think Freshwater was originally spelled Freshwad.
    And wheres the AIG freshwad chewing gum in this store?
    Looks and tastes just like rhino dookie with sugar, but denser.
    Good on ya Hambone !

  10. Following the link to AiG’s website, I rummaged around and found a picture of Ken Ham. Although I’ve seen photos and video clips of him before, it just now struck me how much he resembles the “Caveman” in the Geico commercials. Speaking of which, I wonder where the Neanderthals fit in Ham’s chronology? or does he deny their very existence?

  11. “That armor set sounds like what Holy Diver/Shore Leave wears in The Venture Bros.! I believe it’s missing the Loin-girding Codpiece of Truth.”

  12. Interestingly, at the bottom of the page, there are the following offered up for sale as well: Armor of God statue, Armor of God Collectible Card set and Armor of God bookend. When you look at the details, the appearance of the armor is different in every case. I would have thought that “The Word of God (TM)” was the final word on things, not open to interpretation, etc. Can someone help me here? I’m so confused!