The news drought continues, so we consulted the archives of one of our clandestine operatives — code name “Bellevue” — who works as an orderly in a famous lunatic asylum, where he is assigned to the Napoleon Ward. That’s where the most advanced and incurable cases of Napoleonic Delusion are kept. Each of the inmates insists that he — and he alone — is Napoleon Bonaparte.
Such cases must be treated with respect at all times or they become uncontrollably violent. Our operative has been trained to play the role of a respectful functionary in each patient’s imaginary empire. This is an actual recording of a recent conversation with Napoleon Number Seventeen:
That’s where the recording ends. If the news drought continues, we may present a recording from another floor of the asylum — the Genesis Ward, where each inmate claims to understand the one true meaning of Genesis, and they all must be carefully kept apart because they violently disagree with each other. For now, however, we shall take our leave of the lunatic asylum.
But we’ll be back. Sooner or later, one way or another, everyone returns to the asylum. Mmmmrrrruuuuhahahaha!
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