Chick, as you know, is the purveyor extraordinaire of the most mindless, theologically primitive version of raw, young-earth creationism that can be found anywhere. If you haven’t yet seen his comics, you really should. They’re classics — especially Big Daddy?
Chick has just updated his newsletter, Battle Cry. As expected, the latest additions to that majestic repository of creationist lore are low-grade ore, but we came upon one new article that’s funny enough to mention: Up in Arms Over -Arm Evolution. Even the title’s punctuation is strange.
It’s written by Thomas Heinze. He’s a favorite of Chick’s, because his work has appeared there before. The last time we told you about one of his essays was Three Awesome Questions. Let’s waste no more space on introductions. Here are some excerpts from his latest, with bold font added by us:
Evolutionists looked at ape’s arms and compared them to people’s arms. They noticed that the apes’ arms were similar to people’s arms but, in proportion to the body, were longer and stronger.
Fair enough. Compared to the length of our legs, yes, our arms are shorter than an ape’s. What of it? Stick around, you won’t believe what’s coming:
But because they believed the standard evolutionary explanation that people evolved from ape-like ancestors, they listed people at the very top of the evolutionary tree — above apes, in spite of the fact that apes’ arms were longer and stronger than people’s arms! The theory of evolution rules! Don’t let the evidence disarm you!
Egad! The ape’s arms are superior to ours. That means evolution is wrong! Let’s read on:
But what if evolution is a false theory and neither apes nor people came about by evolution? Look at DNA! It is the part of every cell that contains the plans for the whole body. If DNA did not exist, or the plan for arms had not been written into it, neither people nor apes would have arms. Plans for arms are very complex and don’t just pop up out of nowhere. Where did DNA come from, and who wrote the plans that it contains?
Powerful questions! Where did the plans for our arms come from? We continue:
This is easy to answer if you believe God created people, apes, and DNA. It’s hard or impossible to answer for atheists and many other evolutionists. They try to solve nearly every problem about where things came from with “mutations,” random changes to DNA.
Foolish evolutionists! Here’s more:
But since God made the plans in DNA so that they work, random changes cause more damage than progress. Mutations are random changes, a bit like driving your car into a tree. Your car will be changed, but hitting a lot of trees will never invent the first fender or bumper, let alone the first complete automobile or arm
Yeah — mutations are like driving your car into a tree! Moving along:
We agree that random mutations can cause changes to DNA plans, but they can’t invent either DNA, or the plans it contains. They might make arms longer, shorter, or unusable, but random changes can’t invent an arm nor connect it to your shoulder so you can use it. Atheists may hate this statement but can’t refute it: Arms were not formed by damage to DNA.
Makes you think, doesn’t it? Another excerpt:
So where did arms come from? Arms give strong evidence of having been planned by our intelligent Creator. They could not have been slapped together by random movements of atoms, molecules, cells or whatever.
How about it, dear reader? Where did arms come from? Can’t answer, can ya? On with the article:
Evolutionists can’t explain the origin of DNA! I have asked them. The plans that God wrote into DNA work. Random changes to those plans cause more damage than progress. Mutations are an irrational, failed explanation for the origin of arms!
And now we come to the end:
Hey friends! Before you come down too hard on me for insisting that God created arms, try to find a better explanation! Adding natural selection to random mutations will not, by some evolutionary magic, make an irrational explanation intelligent! Evolution claims that natural selection chose the best random changes to the plan in DNA. But if there were no DNA, or no plan for arms in DNA, random changes would never make either DNA or arms. There is no way that selecting the best random changes to no plan at all could make arms! Sorry to throw cold water on your faith in random mutations. Forewarned is forearmed!
Okay, we’re persuaded. But we still can’t figure out why apes have longer and stronger arms than we do. Maybe we’ll get that information in a few months, when Chick updates his website again.
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