Ray Comfort: The Pain of Childbirth

Buffoon Award

You know how these things start — the blaring sirens and flashing lights of our Retard-o-tron™, the blinking letters of the wall display that say WorldNetDaily (described in the Cast of Characters section of our Intro page), our computer linked to an article by Ray Comfort, who is best known for his starring role in Ray Comfort’s “Banana video” … . We can breeze through all that.

Comfort’s new article is Would Jesus be ‘saddened’ by Christians? Above the headline is this banner: “ATHEISTS ASK.” The column deals with questions Comfort claims he receives. Here’s the first one — any bold font was added by us:

I think Jesus of Nazareth would be saddened by the actions of those who worship his name.

How could anyone answer that? Fear not, Comfort always knows the answer to everything. He says:

The Bible gives a list of those who will not enter the Kingdom of God: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

No fornicators, adulterers, homosexuals, or sodomites? High standards indeed! He quotes scripture a bit more, and then gives us the next question. This is the one about childbirth, and it’s somewhat related to evolution and creationism:

Ray, why did God give me an appendix? Why are my wind and food pipes too close together to avoid choking easily? Why do women have to go through such severe childbirth in order for our pelvis’ to be shaped in such a way we can walk upright?

That’s pretty good, but not good enough to stump Ray Comfort. Here’s his answer:

The appendix is said to be vestigial. But it’s not. Duke University released an article, “Appendix Isn’t Useless at All: It’s a Safe House for Bacteria,” by Duke Medicine News and Communications. Long denigrated as vestigial or useless, the appendix now appears to have a reason to be – as a “safe house” for the beneficial bacteria living in the human gut.

He’s up to date on the latest science. Here’s what he says about the rest of that question:

Meanwhile, eat slower and it will fix your choking problem.

Yeah — everything is really intelligently designed, but we don’t behave intelligently. Now what about that childbirth question? No problem — here’s the answer:

Plenty of women who have never had children walk just fine.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! There’s nothing wrong with your pelvis. Here’s the third question:

Ray Comfort, I’m aware that you are not originally American. That doesn’t change the fact that 99.9 percent of Christians are of a particular faith because they were born into it, while the rest are usually led into it from some sort of tragedy or loneliness in their life.

The questions Comfort gets are often as strange as his answers, which leads us to suspect that Comfort writes them himself. Do you care about his answer to that one? Here’s the start of it. You can click over there to read it all if you like:

Explain to me then why millions are turning to Jesus Christ in China. According to the BBC, “Many of China’s churches are overflowing, as the number of Christians in the country multiplies.

Millions of Chinese can’t be wrong! Okay, that’s all we can handle. It’s your Curmudgeon’s humble opinion that Comfort’s best work was his banana video. It’s been downhill since then. But WorldNetDaily thinks he’s a genius.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “Ray Comfort: The Pain of Childbirth

  1. “Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.”

    That rules out a good deal of Christians.

  2. Yes Ray a whopping 0.75% of Chinese are Christians. Considering Jesus’ little brother Hong Xiuquan was born there you’d think it would be higher. I’m a bit surprised Ray didn’t mention that women were cursed to labor in childbirth as punishment for Eve’s sin, but I guess that doesn’t explain why every other mammal also must labor in childbirth.

  3. I hate to burst Ray’s, or the questioner’s, bubble, but childbirth is not difficult because of the shape of the human pelvis. It’s because humans have such big heads.

    The evolutionary advantage of a large brain, therefore a large head, for humans is obvious, and the trade-off is that more women have difficulty in childbirth that may lead to death. Apparently, though, having a big brain has been advantageous enough to compensate for that.

    in fact, other large mammals, such as elephants, usually gestate for a year. Humans can’t, because the infants’ heads would just be too large for childbirth. So, humans are born at an earlier fetal-development stage, and are far more helpless and vulnerable than newborns of other species. I’ve heard doctors say “Babies are essentially brainstem preparations”, which is pretty damn harsh, but apparently not so far from true. I vaguely recall that human infants reach the development stage of other newborn mammals at around age two.

    Having such a large brain obviously wasn’t a problem when Ray was gestated, perhaps he emerged from the womb after a year, fully developed, since his brain size wasn’t a problem.

  4. Eddie Janssen

    I have a theological question for Ray: God gave us the 10 Commandments 2500 years after the Fall and some 1000 years after the Flood.
    How were we, poor and incompetent humans, to know how not to behave?

  5. When I first saw the Banana Video, I thought it was a very clever parody. I posted a message about how well it was done, how it hit all the right notes, and so on. I was rather surprised by the reactions to my post.

  6. Someone should send Ray a natural, wild, native banana so he can see how god originally made it. One of these lovely fruits http://td.rsmjournals.com/content/41/2/85/F1.expansion.html which can evidently lead to bowel obstruction when eaten.

  7. Creationists love bananas. The YouTube creationist QQOQQ had another good banana question in one of his videos.

    If natural selection is real, he asks, why can I eat this bah-NAW-na? (He’s British.) If natural selection were real, says he, the tree should evolve some kind of poison so that we can’t eat its parts.

    The brilliant YouTuber Potholer54 skewers QQOQQ’s argument by rebutting it, limiting himself to the vocabulary of Tonto from the Lone Ranger.

    I will spell it out more bluntly.

    Fruit are the sex organs of plants (specifically, ripened ovaries.) Animals eating fruit are essential to the plant’s strategy for reproduction: animals eat the fruit, swallow the seed, poop them somewhere else. Thus the plant does not compete for soil against its seedlings.

    The plant wants you to put its sex organs into your mouth. The plant’s sex organs use your mouth and your anus as part of its sexual strategy. Got it?