Another Visit to the AIG Gift Shop

The last time we wrote about the wonders at the AIG gift shop, located at the Creation Museum run by Answers in Genesis, the online ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), we told you about some fabulous things like the Full Armor of God Playset and the Dinosaur Yo-Yo. Those are still available, but now there’s so much more!

The Armor of God Playset must have been a big seller, because now you can get the Armor of God Dig Kit. Yes, it’s true! That item is described like this:

Find a suit of armor in the earthen block. Kit contains one earthern block, one digging tool and one dusting brush. Future “archeologists” love this!

Best of all, you get that “earthen block” and whatever is encased therein for only $3.99. You gotta get one so the kiddies can scatter dirt all over the house as they dig for whatever lies buried within.

But that’s not all! AIG also offers the Armor of God Bookend for a mere $22.99. Here’s how they describe it:

This bookend adds a decorator accent to your library or bookshelves, and it is heavy enough to hold your books right where you want them. Shaped bronze tone resin with shield insert and engraved Scripture quote from Ephesians 6:13-17. Contemporary cut work design for home, office, or church decor. Makes a great reward for anyone who memorizes Ephesians 6.

But they also say this:

Note: Includes one bookend. Order two to receive a set of Armor of God bookends.

So for only $46 bucks you can have a pair of bookends to hold all your creation science texts from AIG. You gotta have a pair!

And what good is all that stuff without the Armor of God Statue? About that item, we’re told:

This beautiful statue portrays the pieces of armor that represent the text of Ephesians 6:16—18. The verses are printed on the base in the English Standard Version. 9-inch resin figure.

There are so many other treasures available that we can’t possibly describe them all, so we’ll tell you about only one more. This is the Ark Encounter Jigsaw Puzzle: Two by Two, and it’s only $14.99. Here’s what they say about it:

What better way to teach the account of Noah’s Ark and the Flood than to put it together piece by piece! Amazingly detailed, this puzzle will make an impression as the immense variety of animals coming to the Ark are realized. 500 pieces.

Well gosh darn! With wonders like that awaiting you, we don’t know what’s holding you back from jumping in the ol’ pickup truck and taking the family to see ol’ Hambo’s Creation Museum. What are you waiting for? Pack up and git going!

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Another Visit to the AIG Gift Shop

  1. Ham takes the bible literally, but surely he understands that the armor of god is a metaphor…. and not something one would unearth in an archeological dig?

    I take that back – no amount of misunderstanding is beyond Ham.

  2. What we need the full armor of rationality.

  3. No Armor of God pajamas? I’m disappointed.

  4. Getting the Full Armor of God for $3.99 must surely be a bargain? Even if you have to dig it out of a block of dirt.

  5. Ellie says: “No Armor of God pajamas?”

    That will surely come. I’m looking forward to the line of Armor of God bathroom products. No aspect of life should be omitted.

  6. Realist1948

    The Armor of God statues makes reference to the text of Ephesians 6:16—18, which begins, “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one.” I never had flames coming out of my Dodge Dart, but I had a flaming Plymouth Reliant once. Nasty engine fire due to an oil leak! An Armor of God fire extinguisher would have been just the thing to put out my Flaming Reliant … probably would work on Flaming Darts or even a Flaming Subaru!

  7. Realist1948

    Ephesians 6:18 -18. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation.” Fire extinguishers and helmets. Have we stumbled into a NASCAR fan shop?

  8. Mark Joseph

    Only loosely related, but on Jerry Coyne’s blog today at there is a great picture of hot pink slugs.

    Now, these slugs live only on a 10 square kilometer isolated area on a mountain in Australia. So my question for the Hamster is, “how did these slugs get to the ark; and how did they get back to that one mountain in Australia?” After all, Ham is from Australia, so he should know something like this.

  9. Mark Joseph demonstrates a clear lack of faith in the creationist intelligentsia. Those two slugs hitched a ride on the koalas. The koalas each rode a dingo. G’day!

  10. docbill1351

    MJ – As you know slugs don’t move very fast. It’s taken them 4,000 years to crawl from Mt. Ararat to that spot in Australia. They just arrived last week.

  11. Mark Joseph

    @Mark Germano:
    Mark Joseph demonstrates a clear lack of faith

    At least I’m doing something right!