Creationist Wisdom #340: Brilliant Fools

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Peoria Journal Star located in Peoria, Illinois, and it’s titled Bible predicted foolish people who pretend to be wise.

That title gives us a creepy feeling, which means that this promises to be a good letter. We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Okay, here we go:

In the beginning there was a vast, infinite space and total darkness, with no matter of any kind, a total vacuum.

Is anyone familiar with that theory? Does it sound like either science or theology? Perhaps it’ll get cleared up as we proceed:

According to the theory of evolution, eons ago dust gathered and created sand and clay particles.

Ah — so that’s the theory of evolution! Let’s read on:

In time more complex elements were created such as iron and copper ore. Over a long time came more advanced metallurgical elements such as nickel, boron, chrome, niobium and additional elements, then precious metals such as gold, silver and platinum.

Uh huh — first there was sand and clay. Then came elements such as “iron and copper ore.” And after that came more complex elements. Hmmmm. Let’s think about this. We’ll list those elements in the sequence presented by the letter-writer, and for each one we’ll also give you its atomic number — the number of protons in the nucleus.

We’re told that the “evolutionary” progression is as follows: iron’s atomic number is 26, copper is 29. Observe that there is no mention of hydrogen, helium, carbon, oxygen, or any of the other simple elements. After that — in the letter-writer’s sequence — came “more advanced metallurgical elements”: nickel is 28, boron is 5 (Oops!), chromium is 24, niobium is 41, gold is 79, silver is 47 and lastly platinum, which has 78 protons. That’s a strange creation sequence. The letter continues:

Then water was created, huge quantities of it. Later evolution took a huge leap with the creation of energy – trillion of stars radiating unimaginable quantities of heat!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Here’s more:

There are many brilliant scientists on the Earth. However, not one has ever been able to create one grain of sand, nor one drop of water, nor one BTU of energy from nothing. Yet they believe in evolution.

Obviously, those “brilliant scientists” are idiots. Then we’re told that the letter-writer doesn’t find this surprising because:

Brilliant fools were predicted nearly 2,000 years ago.

The letter ends with a rather large scripture quote — the one that finishes with this:

Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.

Okay, dear reader, that’s the letter. Like you, we don’t know what to make of it. But it’s certainly original, and therefore it deserves an honored place in our collection.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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18 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #340: Brilliant Fools

  1. Among the many cases of self-contradiction by the evolution deniers, one of my favorites is the argument that goes something like this:

    “The cleverest of people have never been able to produce something like such-and-such. Therefore such-and-such must be the product of intelligent design.”

  2. Of the letter-writer’s synopsis of the origin of the universe, our Curmudgeon exclaims in astonishment:

    Ah — so that’s the theory of evolution!

    If laypersons were required to understand ToE (or even what the scope of ToE was, and was not) before attempting to criticise (still less, ‘refute’) it–well, there would be an awful lot of blank space on the Letters to the Editors pages, and the Discotute would be flat-out broke….

  3. Of course, the letter-writer would never tumble to the idea the biblical quote referred to him.

  4. anevilmeme

    It’s word salad.

  5. The letter writer’s screed is summarised by anevilmeme:

    It’s word salad

    …but not words as we know them, Jim.

    Render unto Caesar (salad) what is Caesar’s…

  6. “Then water was created, huge quantities of it.”

    Well, I’ve learned a little bit more of chemistry from this letter writer, i.e., water must have been created from the huge deposits of copper and niobium, which when combined, must immediately shed their excess protons and neutrons and transmutate into hydrogen and oxygen atoms and thus water molecules. This letter writer is brilliant.

  7. Retired science guy – I think that you hit the nail on the head – never crossed his mind, I am certain.

  8. The writer is of course quite clueless about cosmology, which has nothing to do with Darwinian evolution even when correctly understood. It is quite typical that religious people lump everything they don’t like about science under the all-purpose designation evolution. Too bad that it is too long to be a literal four-letter word.

    Incidentally, Romans 1:19-22 does not “predict” anything, despite the heading of this letter-to-the-editor. The scripture cited refers in the past tense to people who (in Paul’s view) have failed to reach the correct conclusions.

  9. hnohf says: “The writer is of course quite clueless about cosmology …”

    I rather like his chronology, with energy being the last thing to arrive.

  10. Ceteris Paribus

    Peoria Writer expounds: “In the beginning there was a vast, infinite space and total darkness, with no matter of any kind, a total vacuum.”

    But in the tidy isles of the UK the proper word for “vacuum” is “Hoover”.

    I like this version of cosmology better:

    “In the beginning there was a vast, infinite space and total darkness, with no matter of any kind, a total Hoover.

    That way all those messy dust and sand and clay particles could have been properly cleaned up by the ID before those brilliant idiots came around and complained.

  11. It is said that you need religion to make good people do bad things. But that quote has been shown many times to be incomplete, there is a second line….
    You need religion to make smart people look really really stupid.

  12. L.Long observes, “You need religion to make smart people look really really stupid.”

    Amen.

  13. In the beginning there was a vast, infinite space and total darkness, with no matter of any kind, a total vacuum.

    And it’s still there, between the ears of many a creationist.

  14. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.

    In all the sessions of the Freshwater hearing that I attended, that was the one Bible verse that was quoted to me by another member of the gallery, a fundamentalist pastor, in an attempt to evangelize me. It’s a celebration of ignorance.

  15. SC, I’ve forgotten, but was the Freshwater case ever finally resolved?

  16. David asks: “I’ve forgotten, but was the Freshwater case ever finally resolved?”

    I donno. My last post was about oral arguments in the state’s Supreme Court. RBH will know.

  17. Hey RBH — what was the final outcome in that case?

  18. It’s still hanging, waiting for a decision by the Court. Best guess is anywhere from a few days from now to five or six weeks yet.