Ray Comfort: Beware of Lust

Buffoon Award

You know how these things start — the blaring sirens and flashing lights of our Retard-o-tron™, the blinking letters of the wall display that say WorldNetDaily (WND), and our computer locked onto an article by Ray Comfort, best known for his starring role in Ray Comfort’s “Banana video”.

Beneath WND’s “ATHEISTS ASK” banner we find Comfort’s latest column dealing with questions Comfort claims he receives. It’s titled: How could a man stone his own son?

We’ll skip the first one about the bible’s command to stone a disobedient son to death, but if you care for that sort of thing you can read it for yourself. Here’s the second question, to which we added the bold font, but the bracketed part is in the original:

Ray, you are an idiot. Your opinions on creation have no basis in reality. In order to understand what we are and where we come from we must study every detail of our planet and beyond, not close our minds and [say answers that] were spoon-fed to us by sheep herders that loved slavery and murder.

Not bad. And here’s the great man’s answer, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Studying every detail of nature shows design and order – from the atom to the universe, and that speaks of an initial cause that is unspeakably intelligent. I believe that was God. An evolutionist or an atheist doesn’t know what it was and usually closes his mind to even the possibility of it being God.

Okaaaay, moving along now, we come to the next question:

Bible quotes aside, Ray: What is your favorite bird, and why?

No, no — he’s not asking what bird you would select to be his symbol — like the loon or the cuckoo. Nor is this about the middle-digit bird that Ray sees displayed in his direction everywhere he goes. The question is about Comfort’s favorite bird. Let’s read what his choice is:

The hummingbird; hands down. I shouldn’t have to say why. Just study one for a moment and see what it does. It makes our most intelligently designed helicopters look like dinosaurs. Hummingbirds hum. They are amazing; and the Maker is infinitely more amazing. He is mind-blowing.

For some reason we were expecting him to choose the dodo. Anyway, here’s one more question and then we’re done:

If I were God, I wouldn’t sentence you to eternal torture just for not worshipping me. What an evil, egomaniacal god you worship.

Well! How does Comfort respond to that? Here ya’ go:

You are minimizing your crimes against God by just speaking of “not worshipping” Him. The truth is that if you die in your sins you will be damned for lust, lying, fornication, stealing, blasphemy, ingratitude, covetousness, idolatry, etc. You don’t realize it but you have a multitude of sins (as we all have).

Wow! But that’s not all. Comfort has more to say on this subject:

Did you know that every single time you have lusted after a woman you have committed adultery as far as God is concerned? Did you know that each time you have done that you are “storing up His wrath”?

Aaaargh!! Your Curmudgeon is doomed! And there’s yet more:

Think of your secret sins that you thought no one knew about. God has seen them. Every one of them. … That’s why you need a Savior.

And then — to our complete amazement — the paragraph ends in mid-sentence with this fragment:

Please, take the time to do the test on

That’s it. That’s how the thing unexpectedly stops. It’s most disturbing, but we shall look on the bright side. It’s a sign that Ray was raptured while he was writing his column. And if that’s what happened, then he’s looking down on us even now.

But wait — we just had a horrible thought: Maybe, as divine punishment for being a lifelong idiot, while Ray was writing the ground beneath him opened up and now he’s — *whisper* — down below. And if he is, perhaps he’s looking up and wondering where he went wrong. He’s got plenty of time to think about it.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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18 responses to “Ray Comfort: Beware of Lust

  1. Pete Moulton

    Wow! I had to go over there to see for myself, and it’s true! Ray never even had the time to write, “Aaargh!”

  2. It makes our most intelligently designed helicopters look like dinosaurs.
    Not the most elegant phrasing, but I think that it counts as another example of “such-and-such is so different from things that we know are intelligently designed that it must be intelligently designed”.

  3. Did you know that every single time you have lusted after a woman you have committed adultery as far as God is concerned?

    I am surprised to see him saying something positive about gay men. And (straight) women.

  4. Ceteris Paribus

    Ray says: “It [Ray’s beloved hummingbird] makes our most intelligently designed helicopters look like dinosaurs.”

    Good job Ray! You have correctly identified birds as having evolved from dinosaurs. Now if you could just close your eyes and imagine that humans and apes evolved from an ancestral primate line, you will be well on your way to 19th century science.

  5. Studying every detail of nature shows design and order – from the atom to the universe, and that speaks of an initial cause that is unspeakably intelligent.

    He’s obviously unfamiliar with quantum physics.

  6. Somehow the website Ray wanted you to go to got truncated. Based on his other pages he meant to say “Please, take the time to do the test on http://www.needGod.com

  7. Ray, stop making up silly questions and pretending they were sent to you by atheists. The act is getting old.

  8. The whole truth

    “The truth is that if you die in your sins you will be damned for lust, lying, fornication, stealing, blasphemy, ingratitude, covetousness, idolatry, etc.”

    Whether those things have been committed or not, eh? And what’s wrong with fornication, blasphemy, and lust?

    “You don’t realize it but you have a multitude of sins (as we all have).”

    Speak for yourself, banana-boy.

    “Did you know that every single time you have lusted after a woman you have committed adultery as far as God is concerned? Did you know that each time you have done that you are “storing up His wrath”?”

    So, what are men supposed to lust after, horses? If there were no lust, humans wouldn’t ‘go forth and multiply’. And does banana-boy actually believe that women don’t feel lust? Why are only men condemned for feeling lust?

    “Aaaargh!! Your Curmudgeon is doomed!”

    You have a lot of company, including me.

  9. Wonderful though it is to think that the earth, having reached its limit of toleration for Ray Comfort’s blathering lunacy, has simply swallowed him up–but I have to agree with Troy, it’s a webby text-corruption thing.

    I suspect the original sentence read:

    “Please, take the time to dissect off the testosterone glands that lead you astray!

  10. Studying every detail of nature shows design and order – from the atom to the universe, and that speaks of an initial cause that is unspeakably intelligent.

    And because we believe in that initial intelligent cause, that means that we are supposed to deny the real order in the world of life – that all life on Earth is related by common descent? Rather than that, we’re supposed to think that it’s just a matter of unfathomable chance that we’re related so closely to other living things? That that “initial cause” has designed the world of life, and has designed our intelligence, in such a way that we are fooled into thinking that it all makes sense, when really it’s just a sham?

  11. If you do take Ray’s absurd test everyone gets the same answer. Because the Bible says so. According to Ray, The First of the Ten Commandments is “You shall have no other gods before me.” That means that we should love God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. The Bible tells us that no one has kept this commandment (see Psalm 14:2-3). So why waste all that time with the test? Just tell me Psalm 14!

  12. “God has seen them. Every one of them. … That’s why you need a Savior.” Does this mean Ray has his own network of Wifi toilet cams?

  13. This adultery thing Ray loves to use always bothered me. in order for me to commit adultery I need to be in a relationship with someone else, but if I’m not, does that make it okay for me to ogle women? I mean who is a single person committing adultery against, his left hand?

  14. Mark Joseph

    @Dean:
    Does this mean Ray has his own network of Wifi toilet cams?

    No, it means that god does (though I’m guessing that Ray subscribes to his RSS feed). As the T-shirt available at (I think) Landover Baptist Church puts it, “Jesus is watching you masturbate.”

  15. RC wrote …

    Please, take the time to do the test on …

    I think maybe the Black Beast got him.

    It’s about time too.

  16. Comfort has been actively promoting his soon to be released movie on Google Plus. I think we can expect to hear more appealing arguments from Banana Man in the near future.

  17. Tomato Addict says: “appealing arguments from Banana Man

    *Groan*

  18. Techreseller

    The whole lust and masturbation thing. Jesus watches me masturbate? What a pervert. Leave me alone to my own perversions. And the lust thing I go looking for lust in women almost every day. Ray, where do I find it. Do your cams show me the way?