Creationist Wisdom #341: Not by Chance

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Morning Call of Allentown, Pennsylvania, and it’s titled Somebody up there must like us.

Our practice is to give you only a few excerpts from these letters, but this one is so brief that we’ll have to show you every precious sentence, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary of course, and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Okay, here we go:

I read with interest James Largay’s Your View about the controversial subject of creationism.

He’s talking about Is it time to end the evolution monopoly?, which inspired us to write this: Creationist Wisdom #335: Accounting Professor. It’s curious how these things sometimes spawn regional sequels. On with today’s letter:

It seems to me that anyone who observes the beauty, complexity and order of the natural world we live in — and actually thinks about it — is tempted by the conclusion that all this just can’t be by chance.

Uh huh. As we said in response to that earlier letter:

A creationist gazes slack-jawed at the world, drools, moans, sways back and forth, and then slips into a mindless trance. From that transcendent experience he concludes that the world is a miracle. Neat stuff!

But there’s more to today’s letter than mere trance-induced drool. Consider this brilliant argument he offers:

If chance were involved, it could just as easily have been a dark and hostile environment, like so many other worlds we now know about.

Uh … no. “Chance” would not have created us on the Moon or some other hostile environment. However, if some jazzed-up, super-powered cosmic designer were involved, maybe he would have plunked us down here and there in a variety of environments, in order to test his designs. And if we somehow survived one of those tests, we’d observe that we were unrelated to anything else in that world. But that’s not what we observe, is it? We’re located right where we evolved, and we know that because we can see that we’re related to all the other species on Earth. Therefore it’s obvious that we weren’t tossed here by “chance” or by some whacked-out designer.

There’s only one more sentence to today’s letter. Here it comes:

So, why not be grateful and accept that somebody up there must like us, even when we mortals have difficulty getting our feeble minds around that notion.

Does “somebody up there” like today’s letter-writer? Maybe. Maybe not. But your Curmudgeon likes him. He writes a good letter — for our purposes. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #341: Not by Chance

  1. lanceleuven

    “Someone up there” liked us so much that they dumped us on a planet two-thirds of which is covered in water we can’t drink. Of the land left great swathes are covered in desert or mountains in/upon which we can’t live. He made the planet geologically active so that at any moment thousands can be killed by random acts of earthquakes, volcanoes or tidal waves. He created an air with a high enough oxygen content to mean that fires can sweep through our towns and cities at and given moment. He covered the land with thousands of poisonous and/or killer plants, fungi and animals. And then for some unkown reason he invented invisible diseases that can inflict us at any given moment. And just for a laugh he peppered our galactic backyeard with millions of large rocks any one of which could crash in to our planet at any moment and wipe us out. Yep, he likes us. He likes us a lot.

  2. Lance – you seem to be forgetting The Fall – none of this would be if it hadn’t been for that danged fruit tree and that pesky talking serpent 🙂

  3. Where exactly is “up there”? At any given moment, what is “up” for me would be underneath the feet of folks opposite me on the planet, and somewhere off to the side for other people… Is he implying that his special someone is a spherical being, surrounding the earth so that he/she/it is over everyone’s heads all the time? In that case, it would be equally correct to say “someone down there” must like us.

    That expression always bugged me.

  4. Jim Roberts

    Ed, apparently you subscribe to the “spherical Earth” heresy. You should start worrying that somebody no-one expects will call on you.

  5. If chance were involved, it could just as easily have been a dark and hostile environment, like so many other worlds we now know about.

    And if so, and if we were part of that world, then we would adapt to it as we have to this world. And yes, if there be any creationists like that writer on his hostile world, he would gaze up (always up, up and away) and say what a miracle, that it couldn’t happen by chance, that he has the best of any possible worlds.

  6. If it were all by chance, we wouldn’t exist. If it were all by design,we would be perfect,or at least things would be designed far better than they are. Hopefully people on Earth like and respect you,and appreciate you for the kind of person you are. This fantasy of somebody up there,or an ID waiting to judge us for how we were designed,sounds too much like a fat guy flying around delivering a few billion presents to all the “nice” kids in one day.

  7. @Ken, funny you should compare belief in creationism/ID to belief in Santa. When I was a little kid, the Jehova Witness kid across the street explained, “If Santa Claus were real, he’d be mentioned in the Bible!”