The Curmudgeon Laments

Ronda Storms & Kathy Martin

Ronda Storms & Kathy Martin

These are the times that trouble a Curmudgeon’s soul. From our secret underground headquarters, we diligently scan the news to learn about the latest developments in The Controversy between evolution and creationism, but for days at a stretch there’s nothing to see except mindless fluff about that new video from Ray Comfort, the banana man.

You think that‘s news? Okay, here’s another press release about it: Movie that Debunks Evolution to Premiere in Tenn. Near Anniversary of Scopes ‘Monkey Trial’. It says:

According to Comfort, the film is essentially a second Scopes trial, putting evolutionary scientists from UCLA and USC on the witness stand and challenging them to present evidence for the theory.

Is that the best the creationists can do these days? Is that what we’re supposed to blog about — a former street preacher who interviews and then edits and quote-mines his subjects’ responses? We can quote-mine too, if we were so inclined. Hey — how about this, from Genesis 19, verse 36, cobbled together with a few words from Exodus 22, verse 30:

Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. … Likewise shalt thou do with thine oxen, and with thy sheep.

Did you like that? We’ve got a million of ’em — and we don’t even need to stitch together disassociated passages. How about these:

And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city. — Deuteronomy 3:6

And Nob, the city of the priests, smote he with the edge of the sword, both men and women, children and sucklings, and oxen, and asses, and sheep, with the edge of the sword. — 1 Samuel 22:19

Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women. — Ezekiel 9:6

See? Nothing to it. We don’t need Darwin to promote a lifestyle of brutality and licentiousness. The Good Book is sufficient. But that’s silly stuff, included here merely to show the intellectual bankruptcy of the creationists’ methods.

Where are the great creationist of yesteryear? We long for the old days, when there were statewide legislative battles being reported several times a day, led by what then seemed to be an army of tireless lady warriors — not only strong in their faith, but lovely to look at.

To remind you of those glory days, take a look at something we posted back in September of ’09 — A Gallery of Creationist Hotties. The graphic above today’s post is only one of the pictorial delights that await you there.

So we’re doing what Curmudgeons do — we’re complaining. Come on, creationists — give us something to work with! If Ray Comfort is the best you’ve got, then why don’t you just retire from the field with what little remains of your honor, and find something else to do?

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “The Curmudgeon Laments

  1. docbill1351

    I once wrote Kathy Miller an email about some of the things she espoused as a Kansas State School Board member and she wrote me back and told me I was “rude and uncivil.” I wrote her back and told her she left out “arrogant and pompous” which I also am and she ignored the option for a home run to settle for a double.

  2. docbill1351 says:

    she wrote me back and told me I was “rude and uncivil.”

    Whatever gave her that impression?

  3. docbill1351

    I took the liberty of extracting the words you would have extracted from my reply which leaves …

    … you.

    However, your observation, in general, is correct.

  4. Your first quote mining reminds me of one of my own. I confess I frequently use it when I’m irritated by someone throwing Bible verses at me.

    Judas went out and hanged himself. …Go thou and do likewise.

    Quote mining can be entertaining.

  5. I like your Judas quote, Ellie.

  6. Did you forget, probably the best quote mine from the bible, “There is no god.” Psalm 14:1?

  7. That’s good, Rando. The possibilities are endless. How about this, mined from Psalm 88: “Lord, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee. … why hidest thou thy face from me?”