Creationist Wisdom #345: Apes Disprove Darwin

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in one of the Gannett newspapers hosted at — possibly in all of them — and it’s titled Darwin’s theory doesn’t explain why apes still exist today.

Admit it — the title alone is a winner. Of the hundreds of letters we’ve discussed in this series, this one ranks high among our favorites. It’s short and direct. And it’s so flamingly silly that it’s an instant classic.

We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Get ready, dear reader, here we go:

According to Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, never yet proved by scientific methodology, all species have evolved according to fundamental requirements for further existence.

Never yet proved? That’s true, and it’s also true of all other scientific theories. Nevertheless, evolution is powerfully supported by a vast amount of evidence, and contradicted by none. That makes it among the strongest theories we have. But today’s letter-writer doesn’t have a completely firm grasp of the theory. He says:

Each stage is phased out as the evolving species profresses [sic] and flourishes.

Aaaargh!! No, there is no requirement that a new species’ parent population must vanish. The ancestral population may persevere, quite successfully, while its descendants go their own way. Were it otherwise, there would be very few species on earth. Nothing more needs to happen except that a new species survives apart from from its ancestral stock, so that it can flourish as a separate breeding population. Geographical separation is sufficient. Patricide isn’t necessary.

But our letter-writer imagines that the old population has to vanish. You know where he’s going next, don’t you? Okay, brace yourself — here it comes:

Thus, a simple, logical question, devoid of religiosity: If primitive hominids evolved from apes, then why do apes still exist?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We love this letter. We really do. Just for old times’ sake, we’ll offer a few quick responses:

If America was founded by English colonists, then why are there still Englishmen? If dogs are descended from wolves (even creationists accept that they are), then why are there still wolves? Why are there more than 300,000 species of beetles — shouldn’t there be only one? Why are there any primates at all other than humans? If the emergence of a new species demands the disappearance of its ancestral stock, then why is there anything on earth other than humans?

That’s enough. Let’s read the conclusion of today’s letter:

With this in mind, Darwin’s theory should be presented to students as just one more theory as to how we have reached this egocentric stage of Homo sapiens, which exists at this point in time.

We thought about wrapping this up with some kind of clever comment, but that doesn’t seem fair in this case. We’ll just let the letter speak for itself.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #345: Apes Disprove Darwin

  1. I’ll just mention one thing from the RationalWiki article How come there are still monkeys?:
    If man was formed “of the dust of the ground” (Genesis 2:7), how come there is still dust?

  2. lanceleuven

    “egocentric stage of Homo sapiens”?

    Egocentric? Coming from someone who believes the whole universe was created specifically as our play thing? Hmmm…interesting.

  3. So, a hundred monkeys were locked in a room, each with keyboards and a computer, whereupon for hours on end they typed and typed. Finally what emerged was a treatise on why apes are more intelligent than humans and that apes arose by divine design, thus disproving Darwin’s lack-luster theory.

  4. “If primitive homimids evolved from apes,then why do apes still exist?”

    If science and real accredited scientists exist who have explained that,why do people stupid enough to ask that still exist?

  5. Charles Deetz ;)

    If there is a new testament, why is there an old testament? (And there is a serious christian stance that the new replaces the old.)

  6. Poe’s Law is in full effect, I can’t tell if the letter writer is serious or parodying creationists.

  7. Ceteris Paribus

    If ID evolved from Creationism, why are there still Creationists pestering newspaper editors?

  8. I love it when these geniuses try the “common sense” approach and then engage in the most obvious logical fallacies.

  9. Charles Deetz ;)

    @greg, Recently I’ve been attributing such behavior as similar to inventors of perpetual motion machines, who just can’t see the details of things like friction. Libertarians are a worse case.

  10. “If primitive homimids evolved from apes,then why do apes still exist?”
    But he is right they don’t exist! I took a walk thru the forest and did not see a one!!! You say the apes are in africa??? Well you’re wrong, but I’m willing to let you take me there to show me so I will change my skeptical mind!
    I’m free most days.

  11. “Were it otherwise, there would be very few species on earth.”
    Silly, silly Curmudgeon. This proves that goddiddid! Checkmate, you evilutionist!

  12. If Noah’s Ark was made from wood, why are their still trees?