Ellis Washington: Lycurgus (who?) and Darwin

Buffoon Award

The Retard-o-tron™ found an article in WorldNetDaily (WND) — thus the jolly buffoon logo above this post. It’s another intellectual masterpiece by one of our WND favorites — Ellis Washington. In this earlier post we described Ellis and his intellectual style.

Today’s essay from Ellis is titled Obama’s predecessor … from 2,600 years ago. Most of it doesn’t interest us. It starts out by telling us about a name some of you may not recognize:

Lycurgus (c. 820–730 B.C.?) was the mythical lawgiver of Sparta that [sic] flourished in the first half of the seventh century B.C., who established the militarist reforms of Spartan society based on the Oracle of Apollo at Delphi. Lycurgus’ law reformations were instituted to affect the three primary Spartan virtues: equality (among citizens), military strength and austerity.

Here’s a Wikipedia article on Lycurgus of Sparta. Ellis tells us that Lycurgus was a really bad guy, responsible for a vast number of evils. He catalogs them all, including: compulsory redistribution of land, debasing currency, mandating egalitarian housing, requiring that everyone must eat the same food, and breeding programs to secure healthy human offspring. He also gives examples of people he says are modern followers of Lycurgus, such as Marx, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Woodrow Wilson, and FDR.

It’s a typical Ellis Washington name-dropping gallop through history, and we’re not going to spend much time on it. You can click over to WND to read it all if you like. What got our attention, as it always does in his essays, is that he tosses Darwin’s name into the mix, despite having no rational cause for doing so. Here are the paragraphs where he does that. We’ll use bold font to emphasize the problem:

Though I consider Lycurgus’ practices proto-fascism, just as applicable would be proto-Marxism, or progressivism, or liberalism, or socialism, or Darwinism, or environmentalism, etc., because historically all of these failed, evil, socialist worldviews demand an invidious racism, managed outcomes, social engineering, Social Darwinism, class/race eugenics, statism and collectivism designed by leftists to force society into the same, perpetual, globalist dystopia affecting most citizens.

Way to go, Ellis! You slipped Darwin in there. There’s not much point in asking, as we’ve done before: What is Darwin’s name doing in Ellis’ collection? There’s no answer to that question. And look, dear reader, in the next paragraph he does it again:

Although he lived over 2,600 years before Karl Marx, the father of communism and socialism, I call Lycurgus a proto-Marxist (fascist) because Marx echoed the same pagan, anti-Christian, anti-family, anti-capitalist insanity of Lycurgus, which causes me to conclude: As in the world of the Democratic Socialist Party that gave America the Progressive Revolution and the Age of Obama, so it is in the world of Darwin, Nietzsche and Marx who wrote, “My object in life is to dethrone God and destroy capitalism.”

That’s where the essay ends. Okay, to show that we’re open-minded and willing to learn from a keen intellectual like Ellis, we shall adopt his methods and give you our own list of historical evils. It’s not that Ellis’ list is a bad one, but we want to go beyond that. As we do so, we must remember that it was Ellis who, in Scripture Trumps Darwin, informed us of “the syllogism that was a foundation of Western civilization”:

If A = B, then A + B = C

With that in mind, here comes the Curmudgeon’s list of historical evils: creationism, theocracy, incest, bestiality, pedophilia, necrophilia, coprophilia, despotism, sadism, cannibalism, terrorism, and — last but not least — Ellis Washington’s essays.

Thanks to Ellis, our logic is undeniable.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Ellis Washington: Lycurgus (who?) and Darwin

  1. So…Lycurgus was anti-Christian before Christianity existed? Is President Obama’s handy Acme Time Machine involved?

  2. Ellie says: “So…Lycurgus was anti-Christian before Christianity existed?”

    Good catch! I missed that.

  3. You fell into the fundie trap……Christianity,all bout Christ,Christ is God,God is eternal so Lycurgus knew bout God just suppressed the knowledge like the blasphemous wretched vile Marxist darwinist Obama voter he would have been in 2600+ years. It’s so obvious.

  4. Actually, Lycurgas is most likely a mythical figure.

  5. SC said:

    You can click over to WND to read read it all if you like.

    Did you just mean to use one “read”?

  6. I’m sorta curious about the “anti-family” bit. When did “pro-family” become a Biblical idea?

  7. So there are people in the world that take WND seriously?

  8. Gary says: “Did you just mean to use one “read”?”

    You’ve saved me again. Thank you.

  9. Many thanks for “the Curmudgeon’s list of historical evils”–but how could you omit The Heartbreak of Psoriasis?

    And–if your current research into electronic snoopers into lavatories pans out (so to speak), what about the historical evil of Creationism-Voyeurism Syndrome (CVS)?

  10. Megalonyx discretely inquires: “if your current research into electronic snoopers into lavatories pans out (so to speak)”

    Although I am, as it were, overflowing with confidence that CVS will one day be recognized as one of mankind’s most pernicious afflictions, I modestly excluded it from my list.

    As for “The Heartbreak of Psoriasis,” yes, Olivia told me of your problem, but I didn’t want to … ah, rub it in.

  11. Many thanks for “the Curmudgeon’s list of historical evils”–but how could you omit The Heartbreak of Psoriasis?

    The Heartbreak of Psoriasis is based on a foundation of Darwinism. Charles Darwin invented psoriasis in The Origin of Species.

  12. I could like the guy if he were just a fascist, communist, socialist, eugenicist, racist. But he’s also an ENVIRONMENTALIST?!

    That’s taking things too far. I hereby revoke my support for evolution – I wouldn’t wanna be labelled an “environmentalist”