Ken Ham Is Engaged in a War

We’re starting to get worried about Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo). As we recently said in Ken Ham Is on a Mission from God, we originally thought he was nothing more than the owner of a roadside attraction — the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

Seen in that way, he could be counted on as a constant source of entertainment for our blog. But we’ve begun to think that he’s serious, and he really does imagine that he’s the ayatollah of Appalachia. What he just posted at the website of his on-line ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG), suggests that things may be even worse than we suspected.

Ol’ Hambo’s latest is A Spiritual War Is Raging. Read that title again. Hambo is saying that he’s in the middle of some kind of war. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

I must admit that sometimes I wonder if the average churchgoer really understands that there is a spiritual war raging around him — in his home, church, school — well, everywhere! The New Testament contains a lot of war terminology.

We’ll skip two paragraphs of scripture, which include phrases like “the rulers of the darkness of this age,” and “spiritual hosts of wickedness.” After that he says:

It seems to me that many Christians are virtually asleep while a battle rages all around them. They go to church, send their kids to school, and come home and watch TV or whatever they like to do — all seemingly oblivious to a shocking and destructive war that is capturing many of their kids and grandkids for the enemy and is destroying the culture.


I am burdened by the thought that every Christian must understand they are all soldiers in a battle — and they all need to be at the front line and equipped to engage the enemy, who is set to drag them down and capture the coming generations of children.

Are we over-reacting, or is Hambo using excessively vivid language? Here’s more:

As you know, statistics show the enemy is winning a battle in our churches. The majority of our young people are walking away from the church by the time they reach college age. Secularism is on the rise in America, while around 4,000 churches close their doors in this country each year. And atheists are becoming more aggressive as soldiers for the enemy, out to capture the hearts and minds of children. The casualties are huge.

Hambo is not just hawking tickets for his museum and selling trinkets in the gift shop; he literally sees himself in the middle of a great battlefield. He continues:

I believe AiG is a leading supplier of the most advanced “weaponry” designed to counter the enemy’s attacks in this era (e.g., books, DVDs, curricula, websites, the Creation Museum, the coming Ark Encounter, radio programs, and so on). … It’s hard work, so we greatly appreciate the many prayers and financial gifts of our supporters and friends. It’s costly and time consuming — but what price can one put on a soul in regard to eternity?

Hambo needs your prayers. He needs your money. Help the man! He’s fighting a war! Then he tells us:

I praise God for the advances that many believers are making on various battlefronts as a result of the Lord using AiG to be a part of equipping them for this war. We are thrilled that despite the lethargy of many Christians, God has an army of people that is becoming more and more engaged in the battle — and we are raising up “soldiers” to teach and equip their children.

The rest of Hambo’s post is mostly three “testimonies” he says he received. This is from his final paragraph:

I love to hear these testimonies from people who are using AiG “weapons” and have become active in this war — battling on the front lines for the hearts and minds of people.

Now look — it’s one thing to run a circus side-show or a creation museum to entertain the rubes. But it’s quite another when the proprietor starts ranting in military terms about how he is God’s instrument in a battle against the forces of evil. Are we wrong to be concerned?

Perhaps we’re taking Hambo’s words too literally, and there’s really no cause for alarm. Maybe what we see as deeply disturbing language is merely Hambo’s style and his way of raising money. That could be it. But if there’s more going on, if Hambo truly thinks he’s been chosen to lead God’s army against the forces of evil, then he may be standing on the brink of full-blown, out-of-control madness. We hope we’re wrong. If we’re not, things could get messy.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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30 responses to “Ken Ham Is Engaged in a War

  1. This is shocking. The young Hovind and Hambo in the same video.

    But the best part is a theory I never heard of. Volcanic dispersal of fauna following the Flood. Oh, it’s just as wonderful as you might imagine!

    Yeah, how did all the kangaroos get to Oz? They few Volcanic Airlines!

    And you wonder why we laugh at creationists!

  2. Stephen Kennedy

    Ham is a theocrat at heart who would love to impose mosaic law on our country if he could. The things he says are so ridiculous that we do not take him as seriously as we need to. A couple of years ago, while Jason Lisle was still at AIG, they published a series of papers on their website by the late and unlamented Greg Bahnsen. Bahnsen was very active in and a leader of the hard core theonomist movement in the U.S. and made no secret of his vision of ultimately turning this country into a Christian theocracy under biblical law.

    Once I learned a little more about Bahnsen and his activites, it occurred to me that if AIG was willing to publish his stuff, they had really crossed a line and could no longer be considered just harmless cranks.

  3. Ken wants to appeal to the upcoming wage earners more than any other group. He has taken heat in the past for suggesting that acts of violence against the enemy was acceptable on his FB page. His response to those that took him to ask over his statements was basically “just kidding”. But it demonstrated his willingness to try adolescent vitriol as a device when attempting appeal to the young and uneducated.

  4. The war motif is nothing new. Sir Arthur Sullivan composed “Onward, Christian Soldiers back in the 19th century: as incompatible with Christ’s message then as now.

  5. Having grown up in all this craziness, this rhetoric is preached all the time. These types really DO see themselves as the last bastion in the war for the hearts and minds of the children. They view everything as a battle between the “powers of the darkness of this present age”…

    Fortunately, since he and his ilk are so firm in the “it’s the whole bible or it nothing” line, once people find one part of the bible lacking (which, let’s face it, isn’t that hard to do), then the whole thing crumbles and we become agnostic/atheist.

    That being said, he, Doug Philips, Liberty U, Discoveroids, etc, they’re all dangerous. Easy to make fun of, yes, but I do think we ought to be taking them rather seriously.

  6. Is The Hamster crossing a line from mere greed to being a serious threat?
    I fear that the answer may be “yes”. His posts seem to get more delusional and militant with time. I hope I’m wrong, but I get a whiff of serious madness coming from AiG.

    One cannot but help wondering what the useful idiots, aka “creation scientists”, who work for him might be thinking. Are they as crazy as Hambo seems to be?

  7. Who is the enemy that atheists are fighting for and I have not heard any clarion calls to join this army!

  8. Ole Hambo ain’t crazy—or, if he is, then I wish I was that kind of crazy so people would just send me money they way they do to him.

    No, he’s just one more shill amongst the vast hoard of hucksters who have figured out that fear sells (frightened folks are far easier to fleece), and what could be more fearful than Apocalyptic “War”?

    In that spirit (i.e. personal greed), and on the principle that even a Righteous Army must needs march on its stomach, I am now compiling The Creationist Army Cookbook, to retail at $49.99 + p&p.

    Here’s a sample of what I’ve got so far:

    [1] Ken-tucky Half-Baked Ham

    A sub-prime clip-joint of brimstone-smoked swine, studded with ‘Crown o’ Thorns’ cloves and glazed with honey-tongued saccharine. This antipodean delicacy is the only pork dish which is additionally authorised for consumption by Islamist Jihadis.

    [2] Jack Chick-in-Nuggets

    Lumps of mechanically-recovered chicken by-products, covered in a crispy corn-pone batter. Served with a portion of Entrenched-Lie potatoes (deep-fried in the Eternal Lake of Fire), and a side of Kelly Kohlslaw

    [3] Luskin Lasagne Légalése

    Layers of wet, floppy non-sequiter noodles and pureed recycled verbiage with a creamy white Behe-chamel sauce topping, over-baked al forno and sprinkled with freshly-mined misquotations.

    Other exciting recipes I have gathered so far include Ellis Washington Waldorf Word Salad, Comforting Banana Fritters, Moonie Peppered Moth Steaks, and Fried Eggnors (Funny-Side Up).

    But I would be extremely grateful to any readers of this blog who have recipes to contribute to this worthy—and hopefully, lucrative—tome. Many thanks!

  9. A glorious collection of recipes, Megalonyx! Alas, it’s wasted on me, because I must subsist entirely on a special blend of gruel, devised for interstellar travelers who also sometimes engage in some time travel. It keeps my molecular structure aligned to the north pole of the multiverse.

  10. I think they really do believe it.

    I wouldn’t surprised if were to find a large cache of weapons at Hams house. Just like the collection in kent hovinds house.

  11. I’ve seen a lot of literal demonizing from the crazed theocrats lately. It scares me that one of them will start to take this “spiritual war” stuff literally and go on a spree soon.

  12. He’s becoming delusional and developing a messiah complex. His ongoing slide into insanity will be sad, yet entertaining.

  13. Contributing to Post of the Decade –

    Dembski Extra Special Bitter

    A frothy, gassy mixture, improbably hopped-up, mathematically speaking, boasting without evidence an IBU rating of over 40. Not quite stout, it tends to run and must be kept covered at all times. Sold exclusively at the Baylor Cafeteria.

  14. @ docbill1351:


  15. How about Gish Tacos, or is it too soon?

  16. “I believe AiG is a leading supplier of the most advanced “weaponry” designed to counter the enemy’s attacks”

    In that case, they’re doomed!

  17. Mark Germano suggests for the menu

    How about Gish Tacos, or is it too soon?

    To be honest, I was thinking more along the lines of Gish and Chips (= battered and deep-fried filets of bottom-feeders, sprinkled with vitriolic vinegar and served wrapped in old copies of The Watchtower with a dollop of dental tartar sauce), but—as an enthusiastic enthusiast for Tex-Mex dishes—I thank you for indicating a vacant niche in the cookery book in progress.

    So, maybe some Cheesy Caseydillas (= tortilla-thin ‘arguments’ covered in cheesy grins and a piquant persecution complex, popped under the grill until bubbling with self-satisfied smugness), or Juan Huesties Rancheros (= fried Egnors topped with refried has-beens, floury tort-suit-illas, and advocatados), all washed down with a pitcher of Meyeritas (= tequila and Contraryeau, served with lime juice and salt rubbed into the wounds).

  18. Megalonyx says: “a dollop of dental tartar sauce”


  19. AiG’s Benedict – As found in the Scientific Methodist’s Are Coming Cookbook vol. XII.

    This recipe must be interpreted literally.

    Lab Kitchen supplies needed:

    At least one cracked pot.
    As many nuts as you think you can stomach.
    At least one farm fresh free range AiG.
    Note: As of yet we have been unable to find one of these AiGs that doesn’t smell literally flawed, but we aren’t giving up hope and will continue our search.

    1. Once your dinner guests have arrived, insist that the kitchen is far too small to truly represent the glory of your culinary skills and then take donations. You can continue with the meal preparations once construction of the new kitchen begins.

    2. Inform the guest(s) that did arrive about the troubling flaws you have identified in the personal character of the guests that didn’t show up.

    3. Eject any guests that question your ability to complete the recipe in exactly seven days.

    4. Insist that your understanding of the recipe exceeds that of the goat herder Chef that created the recipe.

    5. Wave the cracked pot around for all to see and insist that it is full of your bountiful goodness.

    Serves as many as you can fool.

  20. Too bad that Ham’s brand of xianity is not concerned about the real wars that we can see vis a vis the imaginary ones.

  21. @ Dean: many thanks for your addition to The Creationist Army Cookbook, much appreciated!

    To avoid copyright hassles, I’ll just change the name to AiGs Pope Benedict

  22. @Megalonyx: Happy to be able to contribute. Those Scientific Methodists are all about public domain and peer review so I wouldn’t wouldn’t fret too much over copyright issues. A traditional citation will do.

    AiG’s ala Pope Benedict might sound more continental but I’m concerned that there may be jihadists that aren’t familiar with french cuisine.

  23. AiGs Benedict? Inviting dish, but you forgot to mention the, erm, cardinal rule: Watch the cooking time closely, they must be boiled soft-in-the-head.

  24. Here in South Africa, though not an import and at roughly the same YECchy preschool level as your Ray Comfort, we have one Izak Burger. The man and his name positively invite having a Megalonyx dish cooked in their honour.

  25. I am definitely starting to see less “snake oil sales man” and more “Waco Texas”. I wonder if he will start establishing a harem for himself before he goes.

  26. This has got to be captured on a thread of its own, nay, a blog of its own, nay, an INTERNET of its own!

  27. I think the guy has crossed over to the dangerous category. Whether he means it or not with the rhetoric there are followers who will take him seriously. A lot of damage can be done by someone just trying to make a buck.

  28. I wonder if he gets crazier as attendance numbers drop.

  29. How about Gish Tacos

    If you eat them, they’ll give you the Gish Gallop.

    — Diogenes

  30. As for Ken Ham, I’ve said before that someone should make one of those spoof YouTube videos based on the scene in “Der Untergang” where Bruno Ganz as Hitler flips out when his generals tell him Germany will lose the war, but with the Youtube subtitles replaced with someone flipping out over an unrelated topic. You could take the text from Ken Ham’s article here, don’t change a word, and copy it into the subtitles for Hitler’s freak-out. It would fit perfectly.

    Ken: the godless horde is approaching your capital and your secretaries have realized you’re nuts. When your Creation Museum goes bankrupt, and your animatronic Adam and Eve are sold at auction, we’re going to buy them, and do unspeakably vulgar things to them. Do you want to live to see that, Ken? Of course not. Face it: there’s nothing left for you to do but give your luger a hickie.