Creationist Wisdom #355: Rock-Solid Proof

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in The Telegram, a daily newspaper published in St. John’s, the capital and largest city in Newfoundland and Labrador. It’s titled Making the case for a creator God. We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Okay, let’s get started:

The human secularist [sic] says, “I am God.” and the atheist says, “There is no God.” … I wonder if these people have ever taken the time to study the evidence for a creator God.

That’s what the “human secularist” says. The ape secularist says: “Oook, oook!” Wait, dear reader — don’t leave us yet. This isn’t merely an argument against atheism. If it were, we wouldn’t bother with it because we’re not concerned with that topic. As you will see, today’s letter is mostly an attack on evolution — and literally all of science. Stay with us:

Psalm 14:1 states, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’” The following is a small sample of the evidence for a creator God:

What follows is an ark-load of “evidence” assembled by the letter-writer. He has seven — yes, seven! — different evidentiary claims. We’ll number them for convenience. Here it comes:

1. Evolution — Darwinism and the theory of evolution has been proven false because naturalistic processes have utterly failed to explain how non-living chemicals could somehow self assemble into the first living cells.

Yup — evolution is false. Great stuff, huh? Let’s read on:

2. Cosmology — Virtually all cosmologists now agree that whatever begins to exist has a cause and that the universe had a beginning. The beginning was the Big Bang and the cause was God.

No doubt about it. The list continues:

3. Physics — Modern science has discovered that the laws and constants of physics make the universe habitable for life. Chance cannot reasonably account for this.

That’s the Anthropic Principle. We discussed it in Common Creationist Claims Confuted. Here’s more:

4. Astronomy — Earth’s position in the universe and its intricately choreographed geological and chemical processes work together with exquisite efficiency to create a safe place for humans to live. If the universe had not been made with the most exacting precision we could never have come into existence. The universe was created for man to live in.

That’s the Discoveroids’ Privileged Planet argument, coupled with the erroneous notion that the whole universe is congenial to human life — which it obviously isn’t. It boils down to “We’re here, so the whole universe was intentionally created to bring us about.” It’s hard to believe, but the Discoveroids have made that argument — see Discovery Institute: What Are They Thinking? Moving along:

5. Biochemistry — Microscopic contraptions, such as cilia and bacteria flagella, are extremely unlikely to have been built piece by piece through Darwinian processes, because they had to be fully present in order to function. The intricate process of blood clotting is another example. These irreducibly complex systems are strong evidence of a purposeful, intentional design by an intelligent creator God.

Oooooooh! Right out of the Discoveroids’ playbook. The list goes on:

6. Biological information — The six feet of DNA coiled inside every one of our bodies 100 trillion cells contain a four letter alphabet that spells out precise assembly instructions for all the proteins from which our bodies are made. No scientist has been able to explain how information got into our biological matter by chance. The presence of this type of information in DNA implies and intelligent source — God.

Information! Wowie! That’s also from the Discoveroids. Here’s the last item:

7. Consciousness — If the universe began with dead matter having no consciousness, how then do you get something totally different — consciousness, living, thinking, feeling, believing creatures — from material that doesn’t have that? But if everything started with the mind of God, we don’t have a problem with explaining the origin of our mind.

He’s right. If you start with his premise, there’s no problem explaining the origin of your mind. The explanation is … Poof! And here’s the powerful wrap-up:

How can one read this information and come to the conclusion that humans are living and breathing on this Earth by chance, are descended from apes and that there is no creator God?

He finishes with a bible quote, but we’ll skip that. So there you are, dear reader. The letter-writer is totally convinced. Why aren’t you? He’s right, you know. When all of science is dismissed as rubbish, what we’re left with is magic, miracles, and Oogity Boogity — and that will make us happy.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #355: Rock-Solid Proof

  1. As Canadian can you please keep the creationist south of the border =)

  2. Border.

    As a Canadian, this is your chance to make fun of Newfies.

  3. This man’s god is now probably cringing with embarrassment at the clumsy ineptitude of his/her own creative handiwork.

    And well s/he should.

  4. Paging Tundra Boy. Where you at?

  5. Reads like the plot to Meyer’s next book!

  6. Megalonyx calls out: “Tundra Boy. Where you at?”

    I fear he may have fallen into another glacial crevasse. It’s a common hazard in Canada.

  7. Glacial crevasse?” That’s no way to talk about Canadian women.

  8. Ceteris Paribus

    I dunno if his argument 4 is supportable:

    “4. Astronomy — Earth’s position in the universe and its intricately choreographed geological and chemical processes work together with exquisite efficiency to create a safe place for humans to live. If the universe had not been made with the most exacting precision we could never have come into existence.”

    Since the Newfie time zone runs a half-hour faster (or slower) than its neighboring time zones, the ID apparently didn’t quite get that “fine tuning” detail worked out quite right.

  9. The ignorance is strong with this one . . . .
    Is this guy a typical Newfie?

  10. Give him some screetch and find out.

  11. Ceteris Paribus

    There’s a problem with his argument 2 also.

    “2. Cosmology — Virtually all cosmologists now agree that whatever begins to exist has a cause and that the universe had a beginning. The beginning was the Big Bang and the cause was God.”

    Cosmetologists now say the Big Bang look isn’t all that popular any more, and generally suggest the French Y-Braid with Chignon instead.

  12. Ceteris Paribus says: “Since the Newfie time zone runs a half-hour faster (or slower) than its neighboring time zones”

    Yes, and I hear they’re fiercely proud of Newfoundland Standard Time. If you ever find yourself in Newfoundland, don’t ask anyone what time it is. As soon as a foreigner mentions “time” there’s gonna be blood on the floor.

  13. Ceteris Paribus

    “6. Biological information — No scientist has been able to explain how information got into our biological matter by chance. The presence of this type of information in DNA implies and intelligent source — God.

    I heard of a minister who tried to argue that once as a defense in a court case. But the judge still awarded child support to the plaintiff.

  14. He made a lot of assertions but never offered one shred of proof to those assertions, typical of the ID/creationist crowd.

  15. Stephen Kennedy

    DavidK,

    To these people, if an authority like Ken Ham or Kent Hovind have taken these positions, they are no longer assertions in need of evidence, they are self-evident truths requiring no further discussion.

  16. I left a comment at The Telegram, but it it seems to be awaiting approval. Somebody tell me if I rile anyone up.

  17. Charles Deetz ;)

    Of these, the astronomy one is the lamest. As much as science has found in my lifetime, our uniqueness in the universe is highly suspect. Unlike denying ‘historical science’, creationists can’t do the same with astronomical discoveries. If they say say that life by chance has a one-in-a-billion chance of being created in the universe, the answer is ‘yes, and here we are’, one of billion of solar systems.

  18. Our Curmudgeon sagely advises:

    If you ever find yourself in Newfoundland, don’t ask anyone what time it is. As soon as a foreigner mentions “time” there’s gonna be blood on the floor.

    I hope that Jonathan Trappe got that message…

  19. @Charles Deetz;)
    f they say say that life by chance has a one-in-a-billion chance of being created in the universe …
    And when they do not specify the materials, methods and motives of creation, then they are indeed saying that the universe turned out this way by chance, rather than according to rules or regularities. And it’s one chance out of the infinite number of possibilities open to an omnipotent creator – far less than one in a billion.