WorldNetDaily: “Watch Evolution Crumble!”

Buffoon Award

We tried to ignore this, but the Retard-o-tron™ wouldn’t stop screeching, so we have to bring it to your attention. It was the top story today at the website of WorldNetDaily (WND) — thus the jolly buffoon logo above this post.

WND’s headline is Watch evolutionary theory crumble – in 3D! Incredible! Irresistible! Let’s get right to it. WND says, with a touch of bold font added by us:

Coming soon to a theater near you: a depiction of the Bible’s creation account so lifelike, so real … you could actually believe it.

That is going to make evolution crumble? We have to read more:

“Genesis 3D,” a technologically ambitious project of Sevenfold Films and Creation Today, is in development now, promising to be “the first, 3D, Christian movie about the very beginning of the Bible.”

Who are those film makers? Here’s the website of Sevenfold Films. It doesn’t tell us anything. And this is Creation Today. They describe themselves as: “a leading Christian-apologetics ministry, defending the literal interpretation of the Genesis creation account from the theory of evolution.” Their president is Eric Hovind, son of the currently-imprisoned Kent Hovind. Let’s read on from the WND story:

Sneak peeks and scenes from the film are already drawing awe-struck praise.

Creationists are always awe-struck. WND then gives us some examples of the praise the film has received:

“It’s like a time machine,” claimed Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis. “It takes you back in history as if you were there.” “I was blown away, the graphics are stunning,” said evangelist and author Ray Comfort.

Wow — if those guys are impressed, this must be a fantastic film! We continue:

Eric Hovind, president of Creation Today and executive producer of “Genesis 3D,” told WND, “This project is made by Christians, funded by Christians, for the entire world to witness the truth of the creation week in a visual experience that has never been possible before today’s modern technology.”

Ah, now we get it. When they make their movie about Genesis, evolution will crumble — just as WND’s headline promises. Of course! That’s the way to do it. Here’s more:

“By mixing the visual beauty of the creation in 3D with the information to answer skeptical questions, undoubtedly audiences will leave with an incentive to accept the truth of the Bible,” he [Hovind] added. “And for those who are already believers, they will have their faith fortified and strengthened considerably.”

There’s a trailer embedded in the WND article. We watched it. It’s not from the movie, it’s the movie-makers making a pitch for money. Moving along, WND says:

“This is one of the most exciting movie projects I know about,” added Joseph Farah, CEO and editor of WND.com. “It’s a game changer!”

We’re impressed — the head of WND himself is supporting this evolution-crumbling film. We’re skipping the rest of the article because it’s only more puffery about the project and additional begging for funds. Well, why not? It’s certainly a worthy endeavor.

However, it’s unlikely that the people putting this thing together are gong to actually make evolution crumble. We doubt that all of those geniuses together could figure out how to change a roll of toilet paper. But who knows? If this film lives up to its promise, it could bring Darwin down.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “WorldNetDaily: “Watch Evolution Crumble!”

  1. “It’s a game changer!”

    Nope. it’s the same old game they always play. They are too dense to know when they are losing.

  2. Ceteris Paribus

    Truly amazing technology. Even the 3D animatronic of Ken Ham looked almost human.

  3. I like a good fantasy movie. But I will not go to this to be disappointed.
    I think this movie will be about as good as most xtian rock is.

  4. This will most likely be released in DVD form to churches – I doubt it will have much, if any, of a run in commercial theaters. Given that 99% of the audience will already be believers, and the remainder will see it for it’s humor, it’s highly unlikely to make anyone a believer. However, if it truly does portray the Genesis myths as they are written in the bible, it might turn away a number of previous believers who never took time to actually read their bibles. There’s some pretty weird stuff in that book….

  5. Charles Deetz ;)

    I’d like to see the Biblically-correct effect used to ‘create’ something. Is it a ‘poof’, or a ‘dissolve’, or more something like Star Trek or Doctor Who. Or a crack of lightening indistinguishable from Zeus’.Or an more detailed effect like Michael Jackson turning into a zombie? Why am I guessing, all the science I need is in the bible to figure out the answer.

  6. Evolution Crumble — so gooood with great dollops of sour cream and bitter berries.

  7. I can’t wait! This sounds an absolute winner!

    I’m particularly keen to see how they manage the scenes of prelapsarian and full-frontal Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden; I expect there will have to be an awful lot of strategically-arranged foliage if they’re aiming at at ‘G’ or even ‘PG’ rating. Will they be as clever here as Bart’s nude skateboarding sequence in The Simpsons Movie?

    Pity Sterling Holloway isn’t available to voice the Serpent, as he so ably did for Kaa the Python in The Jungle Book.

    And man, let’s hope they follow up with a string of sequels! When they get to the Book of Samuel, I’m sure the sequence of David removing the foreskins of 200 slain Philistines will be absolutely stunning in glorious 3-D!

  8. “‘It’s like a time machine,” claimed Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis. ‘It takes you back in history as if you were there.’”

    Interesting wording, coming from Mr. “Were you there?” himself.

    I remember watching the TV series “Cosmos” (with Carl Sagan) when I was a child, and even though it admittedly wasn’t in 3D, there was a nice sequence about the long development of the universe and the evolution of life. If I felt I WAS THERE, would that mean very much to Ken Ham?

    No, I didn’t think so …

  9. I only see two problems with this film, one is that being presented in 3D it will suffer from the usual 30% light loss, secondary that being a creationist production it will also come with a 100% fact loss.

  10. My only question is with all these cool special effects is how many dinosaurs will they show in the garden of Eden? Imagine them showing us an awesome 3D T Rex using its huge, razor like teeth to eat grass and leaves.

  11. anevilmeme invites us to imagine

    an awesome 3D T Rex using its huge, razor like teeth to eat grass and leaves

    Naw–the film will show it needed that dental arsenal for its diet of coconuts. We might even have some footage of a T. rex holding a banana in its short arms, unable to eat it because that particular fruit–as Ray Comfort so convincingly demonstrated–was Hand-of-God-crafted especially for Adam.

    So all I have to say is:

    Silly pre-Cambrian rabbit, T. rexes are for kidding!

  12. So much wishful thinking. About just some dry scientific stuff. How dreadful it must seem to these people that they might be physically related to monkeys. When it is perfectly obvious that we are, somehow or other, related to monkeys, whether by design or by the ordinary working of nature.

  13. Ahh… right, the movie hasn’t been made yet. Sept 19th is just the start of a fundraising push to finance it!
    Perhaps the more astute film financiers realised what a pile of poo it was and pulled out, leaving the nutters with a bit of a cash problem – pity the poor suckers who sink their savings in this nonsense 🙂

  14. I remember the slogan for the old Superman movie with Christopher Reeve. “You’ll believe a man can fly!” – implying that the movie is so good that you’ll come away believing something that isn’t true.

    Kinda funny that that WND paraphrases that same blurb.

  15. Stephen Kennedy

    Anybody who donates so much as a penny to these people is truly an idiot. They want to make a movie but are unwilling to accept any of the financial risk inherent in such an undertaking or be obligated to pay a return to investors if this movie somehow made money. These professional creationists who always want to carry out their projects with other peoples’ money are truly loathsome.

  16. I cannot wait. Ha!