Creationist Wisdom #361: No Compromises

Some months we find a lot of these, and at other times hardly any at all. This month they just keep coming. Today’s find is actually a column, but we’ll treat it as another letter-to-the-editor. It appears in The Democrat News, a weekly publication of the Daily Journal of Park Hills, Missouri, and it’s titled Difference between Evolution and Christianity.

That title suggests apples and oranges (there’s a Wikipedia article on everything). How about the difference between relativity and Christianity? Well, let’s not reach any conclusions yet; we haven’t read beyond the title.

We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. As you know, we usually omit the writer’s name in order not to embarrass them, but in this case the author is a regular columnist for that publication. Her name is Jennie Whitmer. Okay, here we go:

The thing about Evolution and Christianity is, you can’t have it both ways, so you have to choose one over the other because each system of thought cancels out the other.

Jennie seems to be unaware of: (1) the National Center for Science Education’s list of Statements from Religious Organizations supporting evolution; and also (2) The Clergy Letter Project, a strong, pro-evolution statement signed by over 12,000 Christian clergymen. Here’s the Wikipedia article on it: Clergy Letter Project. Jennie’s lack of awareness is no problem; in fact it’s an asset. We always feature clueless authors in this series, so she fits right in. Her column continues:

If you choose to just ignore the whole matter, that means you have in essence chosen evolution. [BWAHAHAHAHAHA!] Choosing God calls for action on your part, while doing nothing gives the spirit of evolution free rein to further its cause.

Evolution’s “spirit” has a “cause”? Let’s read on:

And it does have a cause which is to discredit God, His word, His son Jesus and the salvation that comes only through Him. The purpose is to keep people from believing Jesus and being saved from the devil’s hell, for which we would all be bound without His saving grace.

Wow! Evolution’s spirit is the devil himself, trying to lure you down into hell. This is hard-core stuff! Then, after a paragraph about what God says, Jennie reveals what evolution says:

Evolution tells us that “life” just sparked by accident millions of years ago and we just happened to evolve from being an animal. In fact, they say everything brought itself to life, including plants and animals, because there was no Creator. Even the Earth formed itself, as well as the rest of the Heavenly bodies.

Evolution tells that the heavenly bodies formed themselves. You didn’t know that, did you? Jennie continues with two more paragraphs about god, and then we get this:

I know that some people prefer to live with no hope for Godly help and guidance, no hope for eternal life, no sense of right and wrong, no value for human life, owing nothing to anybody except themselves. I know it, but I sure don’t understand it. I just know that this kind of life is a possibility for people who have no Creator, no Savior, no moral code and owe nothing to anyone else.

Jennie knows your innermost thoughts, dear reader. You have no hope, no sense of right and wrong, and you don’t value human life. That’s what evolution has done to you. But despite her knowledge of your wretched condition, Jennie doesn’t really blame you. She blames that old devil, evolution. Here’s why it’s not your fault:

This is what can happen when you think your life didn’t come with a purpose or any responsibility. How responsible can one be anyway, after falling out of a tree full of monkeys?

Very insightful! Here comes the end. It’s a happy ending, in which Jennie says there is still hope for you:

Now is the time. Go with God in His light, forgiveness, kindness, love, help and the hope we have in Jesus which springs eternal and will take us all the way to Heaven.

As we so often say at the end of these things, it’s up to you, dear reader. Make your choice — god or evolution. There’s no middle ground.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

9 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #361: No Compromises

  1. Methinks Ms Jennie Whitmer has tucked into the stupid pills and washed them down with generous lashings of bluster sauce, all with religious fervour, and shows us the TRVE face of Crushtian love. While I personally am quite content to “live with no hope for Godly help and guidance, no hope for eternal life” because I could not imagine anything more numbingly terrifying, the same may not be true of other evolutionists. As if these averments weren’t enough, evolutionists also “live with … no sense of right and wrong, no value for human life, owing nothing to anybody except themselves ” and their lives “didn’t come with a purpose or any responsibility.”

    I’d say Ms Whitmer is entirely oblivious of her astonishing capacity for effrontery because it’s hard to imagine a right-thinking individual uttering such drivel, never mind writing same, without the least twinge of conscience.

  2. Ms. Whitmer says:

    Since this account is from the Creator, who was there and brought these things to pass, this is the stock I have bought and I plan to hold onto it.

    Except how do you know it was written by the Creator (Blessed be He!)? Look, that Bible of yours is written on paper. Did The Almighty Himself put the ink on the paper, bind it, and drop it in your hands? Orrrrrr, was it the case where you went down to the store and bought a book that was printed and bound by some unknown publishing house (seriously, the ultimate vanity press) somewhere?
    And since it was written by people, how do we know they transcribed it properly? And how many people were there? At some point, wasn’t a committee involved? (And you know what they say about committees, right?)
    This ultimately means you have one book that says many, different, often-contradictory things which I’m just supposed to accept. Or I have the knowledge gained from my own senses, which I can check and re-check without having to simply “believe it”. As I’ve said before, you might as well tell me, “What are you going to believe? The Bible or your own lying eyes?”

  3. “The purpose is to keep people from believing Jesus and being saved ”
    Don’t you love some good old teleology?

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    This snip of science from a commenter:

    If we came from apes then we would still carry some genes and it would appear that once in a while and ape would produce a human and a woman would give birth to an ape. Check out basic biology 101 on dominate genes before spouting anything else you believe to be facts.

    That’s almost funnier than a croco-duck! So horses should sometimes give birth to zebras, too?

  5. Charles Deetz quotes a commentator, who denies the possibility that

    a woman would give birth to an ape

    But this is a regular occurrence in every hospital maternity ward: all Homininae are apes, surely!

  6. The most poisonous deception ever conceived, the promise of an eternal life.

    But which way of thinking places greater value on human life? One which claims that taking a life simply displaces a mystical spirit to some other mystical plane of existence, or that which holds an individual gets only one life? Which one allows for greater ease in sanctioning violence against other individuals and cultures?

    Apples & Oranges have been successfully compared.

  7. Another commenter writes: “only those that are born again can understand and only those that understand can be born again”

    This is a chicken and egg problem: if it were true, no one could understand, and no one could get born again.

    “….to see with the minds eye and hear with your heart has nothing to do with science or text books.”

    Ya got that right. “To hear with your heart” is to value emotion over facts. To see with the minds eye” has to do with books of fantasy, like The Lord of the Rings and the Palantir.

    “Jesus was truth and unconditional love in human form”

    No, he hated Canaanites, compared the to dogs, and said those who don’t believe in them will go to Hell. Kind of a big “condition.”

    “neither did he have pockets in his garments.”

    I have no idea what that means. Perhaps that JC didn’t ask for money. Well, Ken Ham and Ray Comfort and the ICR have big fat pockets in their garments and they’re constantly demanding more $$$.

  8. The very best comment so far:

    “Thank you for agreeing with me that Catholics and Anglicans are not Christians.”

  9. Stephen Kennedy

    I can not express my reaction to this screed any better than, or even as well as, Con-Tester did. The thought of eternal life is indeed terrifying since we would all eventually become terribly bored and depressed worshiping some flea bitten lamb with people as vicious as the author of this column.