Creationist Wisdom #362: Unchanging Truth

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Town Talk of Alexandria, Louisiana. It’s titled Truth is never revised; it never changes. We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis.

We don’t like to embarrass people, so we usually omit the letter-writer’s name and city, but we waive that benevolent restraint when the author is already a public figure. In this case the letter-writer is Milton W. Howard, pastor of Kitchens Creek Baptist Church (nice purple website), located in Ball, Louisiana (population 4,000).

The rev begins with a scripture quote:

(Genesis 1:1) “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”

Throughout the letter, that same passage is repeated six more times. For efficiency, we’ll abbreviate the rev’s repetitions of that holy passage as
“ITBGCTHATE”. We chose purple to match the rev’s website. Okay, here we go:

There is a lot of talk these days concerning the origin of this world. The theory of evolution – and theory is all it is – is being proclaimed as truth. Theory is not truth, and to declare theory as truth is nothing new. Rarely does the week pass that some new theory is set forth, or some old theory is not revised. Truth is never revised for it never changes.

Wow — what a concentrated collection of goodies! Evolution is about the origin of the world. It’s just a theory. Theories are always being revised. But The Truth is never revised. This is great stuff! The people of Ball, Louisiana are fortunate to have such an inspiring spiritual leader. And the best part is that his letter is just getting started:

When you find someone who denies Salvation by Grace alone, through faith alone in the Lord Jesus Christ, you find most of those same people spouting the theory of evolution. The attempt is to deny that God has anything to do with creation, and if we can deny that and get away with it, we can also conclude that God has nothing, or very little, to do with us getting to Heaven other than making the place called Heaven.

The rev has penetrated to the heart of the matter. Let’s read on:

The first chapter of the Bible gives us the literal and accurate account of God’s work in the creation of this world. There are many who deny this work of God, but do not let it bother you. Men are in darkness, and in darkness they cannot see. Never try to convince a person that “ITBGCTHATE”. Just like everything else that is Holy and Spiritual, this must be revealed from Heaven.

Good advice. He continues:

The person who denies that “ITBGCTHATE” must deny everything else in the Word of God, for everything we know concerning the Word of God is founded on these first words of the Bible, that “ITBGCTHATE”

Twice in one paragraph! Here’s more:

There is no need for prayer if it is not true that “ITBGCTHATE”, for if God did not create this world, then He has no power over this world, and there is not a thing He can do about the events of this world. If God did not create this world, He would be a usurper of an authority that is not His. If He has no authority, He cannot intervene in the affairs of this world.

As you can see, dear reader, there’s nothing more important than knowing that “ITBGCTHATE”. Moving along:

But since God did create this world, as the Bible says He did, then it belongs to Him, and to Him alone, and He can do with it as He pleases, and make demands on those who occupy His domain.

Ah, that’s how we know, with certainty, that “ITBGCTHATE”. Finally, at the end of the letter, the rev reminds us:

Yes, “ITBGCTHATE”.

This is quite possibly the best letter in our collection. The issues and their importance have never been stated more clearly. Having read it, we’re certain that you will repent and abandon your wicked Darwinist ways.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

21 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #362: Unchanging Truth

  1. While I love the early-90’s styled HTML website, complete with its purple background, the circular logic is making me dizzy. We know he’s telling us The TRVTH because the Bible says its true, and we know the Bible is true because… the Bible says its true.
    Yeah. That’ll work.
    Note: My apologies in advance to SC if the “font” color style doesn’t work in the comments.

  2. Pete Moulton

    The Rev sayeth: “The first chapter of the Bible gives us the literal and accurate account of God’s work in the creation of this world.”

    In fact, Genesis is quite generous, in that it gives us no fewer than two separate and distinct–not to mention contradictory–versions of THE TRVTH™ to choose from.

  3. DickVanstone

    ITBFSMCTreesMountainMidgit

    Enough said.

    RAmen

  4. There are a few kinks in that circular logic, however.

    One is that it is only this particular person’s interpretation which is supposedly unchanging. If one goes back a generation or two, or talks to someone else today, one is apt to find a different interpretation. (Check scholarly interpretations of those opening words, for example.)

    Another is that it is difficult to find a Biblical quote mineproof text which supports literal interpretation of the Bible.

  5. While the Rev appears to be near, if not in, the Omhalos region of evolution-denial, my guess is that he’d welcome the “equal time” nonsense peddled by “scientific” creationists, even though it undermines his strategy (at least to the few who pay attention). So in the spirit of fairness, I’ll counter his false dichotomy with another:

    If God did it, it’s still evolution. But if it’s not evolution, it must be some natural processes that have not been discovered yet.

  6. @TomS:

    As you often note, before creationism became full-blown pseudoscience in the mid 20th century, most “educated” evolution-deniers were OECs (day-age, gap, and maybe some “progressives” who accept the entire chronology while still denying common descent). Though probably the deniers-on-the street included many YECs, geocentrists and even flat-earthers, as well as Omphalists. The growing gap was not good for PR.

    As you know, heliocentric YEC was a compromise concocted to remedy the situation. But it had it’s limitations, especially since it had no evidence (all arguments traced back to refuted “weaknesses” of evolution, geology, astronomy, etc.). Worse, OEC peddlers had their own pseudoscience that made far fewer easily-refuted claims.

    The next strategy was the “don’t ask, don’t tell what happened when” that evolved into ID when court losses made it imperative to add “don’t ask, don’t tell whodunit.” That allowed the audience to infer whatever origins story made them happy, usually oblivious to its fatal flaws and contradictions with other stories. But even that strategy can’t fool the fence-sitters indefinitely. So the increasingly popular back-up plan – and the last resort – is the paranoid whine about how acceptance of evolution is the root of all evil. In the distant future, that’s the only objection we’ll hear.

  7. “When you find someone who denies Salvation by Grace alone, through faith alone in the Lord Jesus Christ, you find most of those same people spouting the theory of evolution.”
    Excellent thinking! Indeed, the average atheist and agnost hasn’t much choice left but accepting the Evolution Theory.

    “Never try to convince a person that “ITBGCTHATE”.”
    Could our dear pastor be so friendly to send this advise to Ken Ham and the IDiots from Seattle? The world might become a better place.

  8. Our Curmudgeon gallantly proclaims

    We don’t like to embarrass people

    Nor do you.

    But these people are unable to not embarrass themselves–which doesn’t much matter, as they appear to have no shame.

  9. I need some help from all you creative people. I’ve been trying to do something with “ITBGCTHATE” — using the first few letters as an acronym. It would be ITBGCT and then the word HATE, but I can’t figure out anything for ITBGCT.

  10. It behooves godly creationists to hate?

  11. IDiots truly believe god condones terrible hate?

  12. Not bad.

    The best I can do is: Institute for Teaching Biblical Godly Creationist Theory of Hate

  13. Interestingly the biblical god can trump hate. (In theory :-))

  14. Retired Prof

    Yes, Douglas E. The idea that biblical god can trump hate is only a THEORY. We need to teach the controversy.

  15. RP – good one, and indeed “Teach the Controversy!”

  16. Retired Prof

    Pastor Howard avers “The person who denies that “ITBGCTHATE” must deny everything else in the Word of God. . . .”

    This is the pithiest and most straightforward expression I have seen of why the scientific study of origins (tagged as “evolutionism”) terrifies fundamentalists so much. Genesis 1:1 is their fixed landmark, their homing beacon. It organizes existence for them.

    I once dated a fundamentalist. When she found out I was skeptical about the existence of her god, the first question she asked was “How can you ever love anybody?” We didn’t date much after that.

    Mr. Howard’s foundational scripture serves the function Wallace Stevens claimed for an artifact:
    “I placed a jar in Tennessee,
    And round it was, upon a hill.
    It made the slovenly wilderness
    Surround that hill.”

    Having been lost in the woods occasionally, I know the terror of losing the ability to navigate. Once when a snowstorm hid the distant landmarks and made my immediate surroundings unrecognizable, I got completely disoriented. I had to follow my compass back toward my hunting companions. After I finally spied their blaze orange coats and struggled over to them, I said, “I don’t know where I am.”

    They said, “You’re right here, at the beaver dam deer stand.”

    I said, “I know that, but I still can’t recognize it. It’s like I’ve never been here before.” They led me to the stream where we had left our canoe, and immediately the slovenly wilderness
    surrounded that spot and everything made sense again.

    It isn’t hard to see how people would fear to abandon the comfort of a fixed point, the TRVTH, considering that life in general can be a lot more confusing than a river bottom in a blinding snowstorm.

  17. So “ITBGCTHATE” is totally true?
    Then the world is flat, the sun goes around the earth, the stars are just points of light above the world and do not really exist, the flat earth is supported on pillars over an ocean of fire. We are all here thru incest, and all the divorcees in his parish need to be stoned.
    And he still uses an iPhone , they bigoted hypocrite.

  18. Fanatically Orating Religious Ignorance Cannot Alter (the) Theory (of) Evolution

    Really close to a winner here. I’m tempted to go share it with the Rev. 😉

  19. “When you find someone who denies Salvation by Grace alone, through faith alone in the Lord Jesus Christ, you find most of those same people spouting the theory of evolution.”

    I like that the pastor just assumes everyone on Earth lives in the US and is either christian or atheist. Given the time, I’m sure I could find a billion people who accept neither JC as their personal savior nor ToE as the best explanation for the diversity of life on Earth.

  20. @Tomato Addict
    How about:
    Fanatically Orating Religious Nutty Ignorance Cannot Alter (the) Theory (of) Evolution.

    The reverend wants to be an alter boy. Too bad the evidence of the world supports evolution and falsifies his views.

  21. “When you find someone who denies Salvation by Grace alone, through faith alone in the Lord Jesus Christ, you find most of those same people spouting the theory of evolution.”

    Notable exceptions include Discoveroids Michael Medved and David Klinghoffer. Wonder if the Rev will devote “equal time” to whining about them?