This one doesn’t quite fit the pattern, but we’ll include it anyway. Our last post on this topic was Creationist Voyeurism: Case #10 & #11.
Each of these cases supports our hypothesis that there may be some heretofore unsuspected disorder which we call Creationism-Voyeurism Syndrome (CVS). We’ve defined it before, so we won’t do it again. In honor of the first case we learned about, it can also be called the McConaghie syndrome — see Creationist Suspected of Bathroom Voyeurism.
Today’s case may require us to broaden the scope of our research. As you’ll see, there’s no question that the accused man is a creationist, but the behavior in which he was engaged isn’t voyeurism. We may need to change the name of the disorder we’re investigating to Creationism-Perversion Syndrome (CPS). We’ll keep that option open. Meanwhile, let’s get to the news.
We found this in the Tinley Park edition of the Chicago Tribune. Their headline is Tinley man told police he approached children to debunk Darwin. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:
A 70-year-old Tinley Park man accused of using dandelions to try to lure four Grissom Middle School children into his car last month told police he was actually trying to teach them about creationism.
You can easily understand why this case belongs in our collection. The man literally admitted that creationism is what drove him to his activities. Here’s more:
Asked about the incident, the man said he’d recently returned from a seminar debunking Darwinism. He said he wanted to share the information he’d learned that proved the theory of evolution “is false” with neighbors and children.
He wanted to share his information, so naturally he lured children into his car. Perfectly understandable creationist behavior. Let’s read on:
The children said the man called them over to his car, asking, “Did you know you can count the seeds in a dandelion?” They said he wanted seven cents a plant.
He tried to sell them dandelions? Why would he do that? And why seven cents? We’re told:
The man also told police the dandelion reminded him of “a global sphere, which I wanted the children to show their teacher.”
Oh. That makes sense — seven cents, to be exact. Here’s how it ends:
The man, who was not charged, said he would continue trying to provide information about creationism.
We don’t know what dandelions have to do with creationism, nor do we know what to make of this incident. But we do know that it’s always best to keep children away from creationists.
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