It’s been a few months since we had one of these. It’s time for another.
To remind you of all the intellectual thrills we’ve provided in the past, our earlier contests were: #1 (Creationism is to evolution as _____ is to _______), followed by #2 (The typical Discoveroid’s next job will be _______), and then #3 (The Discoveroids are the dregs of _____), and then #4 (The creationists’ biggest lie is _____), and then #5 (Can _____ be defended using only scientific terms?, and then #6 (What shall we call a creationist toilet camera?), and most recently #7 (Credible evidence for the intelligent designer’s existence would be: ____).
Today’s challenge was inspired by retiredsciguy, who came up with: “Grand Old Designer (G.O.D.)” That, of course, refers to the Discoveroids’ “theory” of intelligent design, which assumes the existence of an unnamed magical designer — blessed be he! — who is never seen, whose origin, nature, motives, and methods are unknown, whose only function is to “explain” the not-yet-closed gaps in scientific knowledge, and who is in desperate need of ridicule.
Therefore, here is your challenge, dear reader. Try to do better than retiredsciguy, by doing the following:
These can be devilishly difficult to construct. To get you going, we’ll offer you our own clumsy example — DESIGNER, the letters of which stand for: Devised Entity Signifying Idiocy and Gullibility, Not Existing Research. That’s pretty bad. We’re confident that you can do better.
You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully. That’s the really challenging part of these contests — being tasteful.
Your Curmudgeon will decide if there’s a winner, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!
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