Curmudgeon’s Creative Challenge #9

To get you in the proper mood, we must first remind you of all the intellectual thrills we’ve provided in the past. Our earlier contests were: #1 (Creationism is to evolution as _____ is to _______), followed by #2 (The typical Discoveroid’s next job will be _______), and then #3 (The Discoveroids are the dregs of _____), and then #4 (The creationists’ biggest lie is _____), and then #5 (Can _____ be defended using only scientific terms?, and then #6 (What shall we call a creationist toilet camera?), and then #7 (Credible evidence for the intelligent designer’s existence would be: ____), and most recently #8 (Devise an acronym — the individual letters of which are the initial letters of words that disparage the Discoveroids’ theory).

Today’s challenge was inspired by something we’ve mentioned a few times before (on days when there was no news at all), and that’s the strange announcement by the Discoveroids that appeared at their creationist blog in mid-January: Censor of the Year: Who Will It Be? That post was written by David Klinghoffer, the Discoveroids’ journalistic slasher and poo flinger, and he’s been promoting the subject ever since.

The suspense generated by Klinghoffer’s brilliant scheme and the Discoveroids’ powerful public relations effort has … well, it seems to have put the whole galaxy to sleep.

Today, at the start of what he imagines will be an unprecedented explosion of publicity, Klinghoffer has (at last!) released the long-awaited announcement. No one cares — probably not even the person Klinghoffer named. As is appropriate to the occasion, your Curmudgeon will neither name the “winner” nor link to the Discoveroids’ announcement.

But sometimes, nothing can be transformed into something. Indeed, there are times when doing exactly that is the biggest part of a blogger’s job. Therefore, taking our inspiration where we can — in this case from utter nothingness — we present your challenge, dear reader. This one won’t be easy:

The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is _____ .

You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully. That’s the really challenging part of these contests — being tasteful.

Your Curmudgeon will decide if there’s a winner, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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37 responses to “Curmudgeon’s Creative Challenge #9

  1. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is the Discoveroid’s speculating over who will be censor of the year.

  2. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is the renaming of the Retard-O-Tron

  3. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is…

    … Klangerhuffer’s shorts.
    … watching a gopher plank warp.
    … the Discoveroids themselves.
    … specified complexity.
    … an empty think tank.
    … the “evidence” for ID.

  4. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is anything about Justin Bieber.

  5. …counting the holes in acoustic ceiling tiles.

  6. No one cares — probably not even the person Klinghoffer named.

    I’ve just this moment been reading the reactions of said person, and he’s overjoyed to have been singled out for such an honor.

  7. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is…

    …the home shopping channel on North Korean Television, even if you speak Korean (and even though KCTV doesn’t actually have a home shopping channel)

    …Baseball or Cricket (can’t decide which is more brain-numbingly dull)

    …Megalonyx’s postings on this blog

    …The American Chiropractic Association’s Chiropractor of the Year Award

  8. Megalonyx posits—

    “…Megalonyx’s postings on this blog”

    — as perhaps less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year award.

    I submit, my good man, that you do yourself a grave and egregious injustice.

  9. There is a whole smorgasbord of scrumptious irony in the fact that the Censor-of-the-Year award recipient’s initials are JC.

  10. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is…

    …who will win the Bronze Medal in curling.

    …actually, nothing. Nothing in this universe (or any other) could possibly by less interesting than… than… hmmm. Sorry — what was the topic again?

    (However, Best Line of the Year Award should go to Con-Tester for “empty think tank”. That so-called “think tank” in Seattle has been running on “E” for years now. Just fumes.)

  11. I hereby rule that I’m allowed to enter my own contest. Therefore, the only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is: The Curmudgeon’s eventual announcement of the winner of this contest.

  12. “The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is”
    … Ken Ham explaining why he did very well in his recent debate with Nye.
    … watching grass grow.
    … the question what SC will have for dinner on July 18th 2017.
    … counting the amount of leaves on the tree in my backyard.
    … dragraces.
    … the next movie with Nicholas Cage “starring”.
    … the question which is better, The Beatles or The Rolling Stones (if you’re into classical music: replace it by Mozart and Haydn).
    … the book-keeping of the nearest grocery store.
    … the belief system of Prime-Minister Mark Rutte.
    … the exact salary per year of Cristiano Ronaldo.
    … the private lives of the Kardashians.
    … Klingy taking his Censor of the Year award seriously.

  13. …the Bulgarian 2014 Air Knitting Championship (a newly-invented sport which is just like Air Guitar, but with imaginary knitting needles and invisible yarn).

  14. … the most outrageous denier of the Time Cube.

  15. …watching hot porridge cool (with or without salt).

  16. ..comparing the tedium of baseball with the noble game of cricket.

  17. comparing the tedium of baseball with the noble game of cricket

    Too damn’ right! Who was the philistine who so foolishly snarked at cricket? May he be condemned forever to do nothing but read Disco ‘Tute press releases.

  18. … the difference between tedium and Te Deum.

  19. Adrian defends

    the noble game of cricket

    In times gone by, noble indeed.

    After England’s utter annihilation at The Ashes, an unspeakable tragedy not to be thought on ever again!

  20. @Megalonyx

    After England’s utter annihilation at The Ashes, an unspeakable tragedy

    Well, yes. That was hell. Sheer hell. Worse hell than that.

    But that’s not cricket‘s fault. Since then there’s been the first in the NZ/India Test series, which Cricinfo.com streamed online for free here in the US, and that was a fine example of cricket’s joy.

  21. Megalonyx,
    Watching the humiliation in Oz is STILL preferable to baseball, a poor imitation of Rounders.

  22. Ceteris Paribus

    Megalonyx et al debate whether cricket or “…counting the holes in acoustic ceiling tiles.” is less interesting.

    That seems to depend on the rules. In counting holes in ceiling tiles, a player is allowed to simply start over again from zero if the counter loses track, and the number of holes already counted exceeds three digits.

    Do the rules of cricket require that the entire match must be replayed from zero if someone loses track, and the number of runs scored already exceeds three digits?

  23. Adrian insists

    Watching the humiliation in Oz is STILL preferable to baseball, a poor imitation of Rounders.

    I dunno. I agree about the status of baseball, but I remain deeply traumatised by The Ashes. It was like watching schoolboys pulling the wings off flies for amusement.

    I am still shuddering in horror…

  24. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is…

    …attending the 9-day Discovery Institute’s Summer Seminar on Intelligent Design featuring lectures by Casey Luskin, Richard Sternberg, and Stephen Meyer, and “many more”!

  25. Our Curmudgeon makes an Executive Decision:

    I hereby rule that I’m allowed to enter my own contest.

    Why not? If the Disco’Tute can claim their in-house captive organ BIO-Complexity counts as a “peer-reviewed scientific journal”, then I see no reason why you can’t enter a contest of which you are the sole judge.

  26. There’s a flaw in your question. To paraphrase an old maxim, interest (or lack thereof) is in the “eye of the beholder”. As everyone knows (knowledge some choose to rebel against), the eye is irreducibly complex, containing far too much complex and specified information, and obviously points to an intelligent designer. Certainly, said Grand Old Designer wouldn’t allow his personal “scientists” to write anything that was not immensely interesting.

  27. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is…

    The annual dusting of my dental floss collection!

    Oh, wait. That’s more interesting.

    Never mind…

  28. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is…
    the slideshow from their summer cruise.

  29. The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is…trying to stay awake and think of something less interesting.

  30. This may not be true in all places, for Google uses geo-id to identify from whence one browses, but doing a Google News search on “Jerry Coyne” here (in the UK) only shows Discovery Institute pages on their coveted ‘Censor of the Year Award.’

    Klingy claimed that the name of the winner had gone out as an embargoed press release prior to the formal announcement, but as far as I can tell from here, no one else is reporting this momentous finding–apart from Dr. Coyne on his own ‘Why Evolution is True’ website!

  31. Megalonyx says:

    doing a Google News search on “Jerry Coyne” here (in the UK) only shows Discovery Institute pages on their coveted ‘Censor of the Year Award.’

    That’s true in the US too. Apparently there was no press release. There’s a newspaper in Sacramento that prints them all — even the “self-published genius” type. No newspaper has yet reported the Discoveroids’ Earth-shaking news.

  32. Our Curmudgeon suggests

    Apparently there was no press release.

    But…but…Klingdiddlehopper himself said there was, in this post of his at ENV: Censor of the Year: For Darwin Day 2014, We Have a Winner

    An embargoed press release has gone out. We have a winner. Who will be the 2014 Censor of the Year, recognizing outstanding work in intimidating skeptics and choking off free and open debate and teaching on biological and cosmic origins?

    It is, of course, utterly unthinkable that Klingy didn’t tell the truth about this–unless, wag that he is, he was attempting a bit of humour?

    Is he capable of humour?

  33. … the list of “peer-reviewed” publications supporting Intelligent Design.

  34. We should have our own contest: Creationist Hypocrite of the Year. Which creationist has contradicted himself the most times, or the most flagrantly?

  35. We should have our own contest: Creationist Hypocrite of the Year. Which creationist has contradicted himself the most times, or the most flagrantly?

    Just for a moment I misread that as “fragrantly”.

    Sort of fits, though . . .

  36. Our Curmudgeon and Megalonyx questin Klingy’s assertion that he sent out a press release? But..but…but…

    Were you there?