Creationist Wisdom #389: Amoeba Theory?

Today’s letter-to-the-editor (like a few other recent gems) appears in the Shreveport Times of Shreveport, Louisiana. It’s titled Evolution, creationism debate highlights our problem.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians or otherwise in the public eye), so we’ll omit the writer’s full name and city. We will mention that his first name is Kenny, and after Googling around for him, it appears that he’s around 80 years old. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. Okay, here we go:

Looking at the article by Helaine Brauning (vis-à-vis Zack Kopplin), one would assume that evolution has been proven (it cannot be), is established fact and should be taught in science classes in all of our schools “so students can maintain their lead relative to other countries in science.”

We previously wrote about Zack’s column in the same paper — that was Creationism vs. evolution: Religious teachings have no place in science classes. It seems to have generated a lot of letter-writing action. Kenny continues:

Evolution and creationism do not occupy separate spheres as Zack Kopplin argues. As far as I know, creationism is not taught as science, but certainly has more “proof” than the fallacy contained in the “theory” of evolution.

We won’t comment on that because … well, let’s just read on:

Natural selection just won’t cut the mustard. There is no proof of an amoeba, how it could have created a “family” of little amoebas to start the complexities of man.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We love Louisiana! Kenny’s letter continues:

God has been taken out of all public places — as Zack Kopplin is trying to do to education in Louisiana. This education may be the only time some children hear the word God or that evolution is not fact. We owe our presence on this earth to the all powerful God.

Hey — he’s got a point there. The public schools in Louisiana may be the kiddies’ only chance to hear about God. Here’s more:

Our colleges and universities are turning out students, and, as the U.S. Supreme Court, lacks the knowledge to assimilate all they have learned. … and … they should read the First Amendment to the Constitution that says there should be no law made regarding religion or the free exercise thereof. What part does Kopplin not understand?

Huh? What part of the First Amendment is Zack missing? Kenny explains:

The infamous ACLU, conceived and established by communists, convinced the U.S. Supreme Court, that after 200 plus years of established government, that indeed there should be a complete separation of church and state.

Oh! It wasn’t Madison, Jefferson, and those other guys. It was the ACLU! Were it not for them, says Kenny, we’d have unity of church and state. Great idea!

The letter ends a bit cryptically, but this is it:

What do you see now?

We’re glad you asked, Kenny. What we see now is our palm — right up against our face. And after that … the desk.

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18 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #389: Amoeba Theory?

  1. Among Kenny’s paradigm-shattering announcements is

    There is no proof of an amoeba

    Sure there is! Divido ego, ergo sumus nos.

    If this is denied, then we must declare that the agent responsible for amoebic dysentery is up for grabs. Or is it that there is also no proof that this is a real disease, but is a form of hysteria, like a phantom pregnancy?

  2. Dumb and dumber – which is Kenny?
    To paraphrase Eugenie Scott: “Sometimes you have to use the F word. Evolution is a FACT.”
    To quote Neil DeGrasse Tyson: “The good thing about science is that it’s true whether or not you believe in it.”

  3. @James – I’m glad to see you quoting Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I’m becoming a big fan of his. I hope he gets wider exposure in the media. I always look forward to his appearances on Bill Moyers’ show “Moyers and Company.”

  4. I find it interesting that there are over a hundred comments to the article. The vast majority of comments call out the idiocy of the article. But it appears one AND ONLY ONE person is telling everyone how Godless and atheistic they are.

  5. Don’t forget . . .starting in March, Neil DeGrasse Tyson starts his new TV show, which is “Cosmos.” The guy is a great science communicator, much in the way that Carl Sagan was.

  6. ” What do you see now?

    “We’re glad you asked, Kenny. What we see now is our palm — right up against our face. And after that … the desk.”

    I think you win the Internet for the day.

    What I don’t understand is why there aren’t letter to these editors criticizing them for publishing letters that will plainly expose the writers to public embarrassment and censure. Maybe those letters _are_ written but never see the light of day.

  7. Ol’ Kenny is Louisiana Redneck pig ignorance on display, loud and proud;
    just the sort of demographic that the Disco ‘Tute and AiG love to pander to.

  8. It gets depressing reading letter after letter like this. How can so many otherwise intelligent people be this badly educated and so proud to be willingly ignorant?

  9. Charles Deetz ;)

    There is no proof of an amoeba

    Nope, no ameobas period. Genesis said nothing about creating the Kingdom of Protista, so the facts check out. The scientific record by God said nothing about one of his greatest creations (its a kingdom, it must be great), so it can’t really exist. Excuse me while I faint from the vapors in your authority Kenny.

  10. @Lurker111: If the editors won’t publish the letters that criticize their publishing of embarrassingly ignorant rants, go ahead and post your excellent comment on their “comments” website. The editors deserve to be embarrassed themselves.

    I’d do it myself, but it’s your idea; I don’t want to steal your thunder.

  11. Yeah – I’m psyched too that Tyson is doing a version of Cosmos. There’s been some internet news about it recently. If I remember correctly, Fox Network offered the most $ and the most creative freedom to Tyson and company. That’s the same network that did the alien autopsy video way back when. Of course, I doubt there’s a single network anywhere that is consistently pro-reason. Jere Lipps got really ticked at NBC back in the 1990s when they broadcast a pro-creationist show on human origins. He gave the opening speech at the 1996 North American Paleontological Convention. His first words were “NBC s**ks!” We were all taken aback, especially me – I don’t do TV, now or then. I now definitely know where he’s coming from.
    Anyway – a new Cosmos series is coming. Woo hoo!
    I’ve heard Tyson do science documentary narration on the NASA channel (all science! no ads!) – he’s great at it.

  12. Ceteris Paribus

    The letter writer says:

    one would assume that evolution has been proven (it cannot be), is established fact and should be taught in science classes in all of our schools “so students can maintain their lead relative to other countries in science.”

    “Maintain their lead relative to other countries in science”? Well, it is true that US students do lead Lithuania in science education. But that “lead” would be regarded as an embarrassment in

  13. One amoeba says salaciously to another: “Hey babe — nice lobes!”
    Earliest incidence of asexual harassment.

    (Yes, I know I posted this before on SC’s blog, but this was just too good to pass up.)

    Seriously, though, I’m glad that the different school districts that I’ve been involved with — either as a student, a parent, or as a teacher — had enough money to afford microscopes. The students then could see with their own eyes all the protists moving around in a single drop of puddle water. They didn’t have to take it on someone else’s word that these things really exist.

  14. @James St. John: And it was Fox that broadcast the infamous moon landing denial production in the ’80s or ’90s. One of my students at the time taped it and brought the tape to class for me to show. Luckily, I took it home first to review. It was the worst piece of s#!t ever to air on any network, at any time. I didn’t show it in class, but the damage was already done. A number of students had seen the program and were thoroughly convinced the moon landings were faked, and no evidence I could cite would convince them otherwise. (One of the most powerful arguments demonstrating the fact of the moon landings is that all other technological nations on earth could tell that all the radio and TV broadcasts were coming from the direction of the moon — that could not be faked.) Perhaps Fox’s airing of Cosmos is their idea of atonement.

  15. This is a fascinating article on AI and robotics. Can robots act like insect colonies and perform constructing structures without plans? How can they do that? Doesn’t it take cognative skills to perform such tasks? Apparently not. There is also a video to accompany this to demonstrate it in action.

    video at end:

  16. @Ceteris: it looks like the USA have lost the Vietnam War twice. That country scores 30 points higher at math and science.
    Pity Suriname isn’t there.

  17. You know, our public schools’ national average is pretty dismal, but if you compare each state separately to the rest of the world, the picture looks different. Massachusetts, New Jersey, and Minnesota are actually ahead of all of Europe, and are equaled only by certain east Asian countries like Japan and Singapore.

    California, D.C., and most southern states, on the other hand, are in the same range as Turkey, Iran, and Kazakhstan.

    I have many more links to more stats, but the relevant one can be found at

  18. Good old Kenny has a point. I mean really do amoebas exist? I can’t see them and I certainly didn’t see them raising small families. Plus,there’s no mention of them in Bible so this evolution and biology stuff is just all commie nonsense, right?