Creationist Wisdom #390: Bible All the Way!

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in The Journal of Martinsburg, West Virginia — the ninth largest municipality in that state. It’s titled The fool has said in his heart, there is no God.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we’ll omit the letter-writer’s full name and city, and disclose only that her first name is Cheryl. We’ll give you a few excerpts from her letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. Okay, here we go:

Anyone who knows me will be surprised when they read that I believe in evolution.

It seems that Cheryl knows only creationists. Is she about to shock them by coming out of the closet? No, her friends can relax. She says:

The word evolution just means change and I know that things change. My family has changed from just my husband and me to the family that we have now which includes our children, in-laws and grandchildren. I do not, however, believe that the earth and humans evolved.

Clever word-play! Cheryl’s neighbors must be relieved to know that she isn’t a closet Darwinist. Let’s read on:

The theory of evolution is commonly held by a majority of “scientists”, but when the Bible and science disagree, I side with the Bible.

Smart woman! She continues:

Until 1492 “science” held to the notion that the earth is flat, but in the book of Isaiah the Bible clearly states the “circle of the earth.” It took a few thousand years for scientists to come to the same conclusion.

Aaaargh!! That’s a ten-layer cake of stupidity and we can’t stand it. Your Curmudgeon must interrupt the letter to do a bit of debunking.

First, well before 1492, educated people knew the earth was spherical. Aristotle knew it, Alexander knew it, and after them, around 200 BC, a Greek named Eratosthenes actually computed its circumference. Nevertheless, ignorant people continued to believe that The Earth Is Flat, as the bible proclaims in many passages. Centuries after Aristotle and Eratosthenes, the flat Earth found its way into the New Testament. There is no other way to explain what Luke 4:5 tells us:

And the devil, taking him up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.

As for that “circle of the earth” phrase, it clearly refers to a disk, consistent with dozens of other Old Testament passages stating that the world is flat. Here’s another link to our earlier post where all of that is explained: The Earth Is Flat!

And no, Columbus didn’t have to prove to anyone that the world wasn’t flat. Scientists — such as existed in those days — were aware of its shape. But Columbus had things figured wrong when he thought he could sail cross the ocean. He greatly misjudged the distance he had to go in order to reach Asia. Fortunately he blundered into land anyway, and he probably died thinking he had reached China (or the Indies, or something in Asia).

Okay, it didn’t take too long to deal with Cheryl’s last claim. We’ll skip over her statement that the bible was accurate about the water cycle. That’s boring, and no one cares. Instead of the water cycle, it would have been far more useful if the bible had told us about bacteria, but for some reason it didn’t. Anyway, let’s see what other wonders Cheryl has for us:

Science has still not answered where space came from or the material and energy for the “Big Bang.”

Hey — she’s got a great point there! We need to figure out where space came from! Perhaps you, dear reader, can get to work on that. Here’s more:

Evolution and creationism must both be accepted on faith because no one alive today was there when these things happened.

Ah yes, “Were you there?” Well, you weren’t there, were you? And now we come to the end:

But as for me, again I say, when the Bible and science disagree, I stay of the side of the Bible. As the Psalmist wrote, “The fool has said in his heart, there is no God.”

Great letter, Cheryl! Truly one of the best.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #390: Bible All the Way!

  1. Richard Olson

    I would not use the term “fortunately” to describe Columbus’ contact with what is now known as the Americas, and I am not even one of the indigenous natives ruthlessly exploited as a direct result of his 3 visits. CC dearly loved the wealth he plundered there, including income derived from the natives he enslaved, but personally is accountable for horrendous misfortune deliberately inflicted upon a group he designated sub-human. Columbus was a typically butt-ignorant Christian supremacist elite living at the closing period of Medieval Europe, and knew beyond any doubt those he subjected to mass murder and slavery were not Chinese.

  2. the Bible and science disagree, I side with the Bible
    Geocentrism vs, heliocentrism?

  3. Here is one honest IDer. When there is an inconsistency between science and the bible, bible takes precedence but I think this means other times she is on the side of science

  4. By rights she can’t calculate the area of a circle without contradicting the bible.

  5. Science has still not answered where space came from or the material and energy for the “Big Bang.”
    And the Bible does not say any thing about space, material, energy, the Big Bang, so it’s not any better than science. Science does tell us about about the most of the world of life: microbes, which the Bible does not. (And what about most of the universe: black matter and black energy?)

  6. The Seattle Times just had a well written oped on the subject of creationism vs evolution.

  7. Our Curmudgeon throws up a challenge:

    We need to figure out where space came from! Perhaps you, dear reader, can get to work on that.


    It grows at an exponential rate between the ears of Creationists out of the black hole of their infinite ignorance…

  8. Her Wholly Babble says nothing about atoms, molecules, bacteria, viruses, galaxies, quasars, pulsars, nuclear fission, nuclear fusion, or unstable isotope decay. Her Babble don’t say nuttin’ ’bout space expansion, the equivalence of matter and energy, curvature of spacetime, dark energy, dark matter, the lorentz contraction, or inertial frames of reference. It doesn’t speak to transistors, resistors, capacitors, batteries, or fuel cells. The list goes on and on.

    Her holy book is innocent of any knowledge of anything, really, beyond what ignorant, misogynistic, superstitious iron-age men knew. Oh, but it does inform us about talking snakes and rabbits that chew their cud.

  9. And the Bible has no concept of biological species!

  10. @makagutu:

    It’s even better than that. Unlike the typical fundamentalist, who has been trained to parrot that “true science does not contradict the bible, properly interpreted, because all truth is god’s truth,” she actually (unintentionally?) let’s slip that the bible and science really *are* in contradiction to each other.

  11. @Waldteufel:

    Brilliant! Just don’t forget that it also tells us that bats are birds. Otherwise, we would not have known that.