Flow Chart: The Irrelevance of Theology

This isn’t an atheist blog, and your Curmudgeon doesn’t consider himself an atheist (although creationists like ol’ Hambo would disagree). Nevertheless, we regard theology as utterly irrelevant — more so than many other things that thrill uncountable millions, such as baseball, opera, and French cooking, but which mean nothing to us.

Why do we consider theology to be irrelevant? We have devised a flow chart to demonstrate our thinking. We did something similar but less ambitious last year — see Curmudgeon’s Creationist Flow Chart. What we’ve got today deals with a far more grandiose subject.

We doubt that we’re the first to reach our conclusion, and we’re certainly not the first to diagram such questions with a flow chart. If others have already done the same thing, good for them — it doesn’t surprise us that they’ve reached the right result. Regardless of one’s answers to our questions, the conclusion is the same — there’s no reason to worry about theology. That’s the meaning of our “No worries!” conclusions — one may always have things to worry about, but theology isn’t one of them.

And now, dear reader, in two separate sections because of the limits of our graphic program, we present The Curmudgeon’s Theology Flow Chart™. Take it slowly, one question at a time. Note that the positions of “Yes” and “No” are switched for the last question. You’ll see that our logic is undeniable. Here we go:

Theology Flow Chart
Theology Flow Chart-2

That should be self-explanatory, but a brief comment may be appropriate for the last question. If the supreme intelligence is benevolent and one happens to be Jack the Ripper or something similar, then there would be cause for worry; but that’s his problem, not yours.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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9 responses to “Flow Chart: The Irrelevance of Theology

  1. Dear Curmudgeon
    Time to slip some shrimp on the barby and have a cold Fosters then.

  2. And if that god is the character in the old testament of the Christian bible, you know, the mass murdering maniac that Ken Ham worships, we are indeed screwed. If that’s the case, we should just kick back and enjoy the BBQ shrimp and Fosters with BlackWatch. Hell, let’s enjoy in any case!

  3. Here’s my flow chart:

    “1. Is there some kind of God?” Yes and No both lead to: “That’s nice but unfalsifiable. Try again.” The only other option is “Maybe”, which leads to: “2. Is the chronology of life, and explanation for its diversity, provided by mainstream science for the past 150+ years increasingly supported by a ‘convergence, neither sought nor fabricated’ of multiple lines of independent evidence?” Yes leads to “Congratulations, you avoided bearing false witness.” No leads to “Try again.”

    The point is that anti-evolution activists want us to dwell on unfalsifiable (and probably unconfirmable) ultimate causes, because that unites them and divides us. But when we resist the urge to take the bait (yes I get the urge too), and ask them “So what exactly did your designer do, when, where and how?” then watch them contradict each other, evade questions and desperately try to change the subject back to God and/or Hitler, the audience actually learns something interesting – even if they have no interest in science.

  4. waldteufel: “And if that god is the character in the old testament of the Christian bible, you know, the mass murdering maniac that Ken Ham worships, we are indeed screwed.”

    To show how even I can’t resist taking the bait, here goes:

    Many “Darwinists,” including some of the most vocal critics of ID/creationism, personally believe that very God. They take the “6 day creation, flood etc.” allegorically, not literally, but apparently actually believe those unfalsifiable “one shot miracles” like virgin birth and resurrection. But they admit that they’re untestable and have no bearing on evolution.

    One reason I left Christianity 45 years ago (as a young teen) is that I never got a straight answer (and still haven’t) as to what it means to “accept Jesus Christ as one’s savior.” Apparently it’s code for “do the right thing,” but it still sounds like a “get out of Hell free” card, and indeed millions do take it that way. Maybe some people need that, but not me. Then and now, I prefer reason. But I understand that many people, including many “Darwinists” need an ultimate authority to say “…because I said so.”

    Since you mentioned OT, the other interesting wrinkle is that some prominent anti-evolution activists, e.g. David Klinghoffer and Michael Medved, may believe that God caricature, but not the 6-day creation, and not the virgin birth and resurrection of the NT.

  5. Reading about the meaning of no worries made “Hakuna Matata” pop into my head.
    It doesn’t worry me what someone else’s theology might be, just whether they use it as an excuse to be a jerk to someone who has a different theology, or use it as an excuse to teach ignorance.
    Who was it who said “God gave us brains, so we should use them?”

  6. As far as the whole accepting Jesus thing goes, 99% of Christians struggle with the theology of it. Basically, I understand it as Jesus being the invitation God gives everyone, and now each person chooses whether they want to accept the invitation or reject it.

    Also, you would be hard pressed to find an Aussie who would barbeque prawns or drink Fosters.

  7. Adam says: “It doesn’t worry me what someone else’s theology might be”

    It doesn’t bother me either. It’s like opera or French cooking — I just ignore it. But I certainly don’t want to be compelled to listen to it, or to eat it.

  8. Where I live, only occasionally do I come across people who are offended by differences of theology. From my personal experience, those who are offended are of equal proportions hardcore fundamentalist or hardcore atheist, but still only a very small amount.
    But then again that just could be more to do with my social circles.