WND: NASA Is Hiding the End of the World

Buffoon Award

We were alerted by the Drool-o-tron™, our renamed alarm system, with its blaring sirens and flashing lights. Its blinking wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND) — thus the jolly buffoon logo above this post.

If WND hadn’t already received our Buffoon Award, they would certainly have earned it with their latest gem. The Drool-o-tron™ had locked our computer onto this headline: Blood-moons fallout: NASA goes hiding.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s a follow-up to an earlier article of theirs, about which we recently posted The End Is Nigh — Again! As you recall, WND had written about some preacher who claimed that four up-coming lunar eclipses would “wake up millions to the possibility that end-time prophecies could be fulfilled imminently.” Their brilliant preacher, Mark Biltz, said this: “All these signs, coming together at one time, are potentially the culminating signals that God is closing this chapter of human history.”

They also mentioned that the preacher had “logged onto NASA’s eclipse website which provides precision tracking of the celestial events.” That was supposed to provide some solid evidence to back up his claims. Well, what more could WND possibly say now? Pay attention, dear reader, because here it comes — with some bold font added by us for emphasis. They tell us:

The same day WND published a major report about a rare phenomenon known as “blood moons” and its possible connection to an imminent return of Jesus to Earth, NASA hid its official Eclipse Website from public view without explanation.

Wow — NASA must be involved in a huge cover-up! This is serious! WND also says:

Mark Biltz, an American pastor with El Shaddai Ministries in Bonney Lake, Wash., used NASA’s Eclipse Website to correlate the celestial events with God’s holy days mentioned in the Bible, discovering the four blood-moon eclipses in 2014 and 2015 actually coincide with the feasts of Passover and Tabernacles.

Yeah, yeah. Jewish holidays are set in accordance with their ancient lunar calendar, so it’s likely that those holidays always fall on full moon days, which would also be days when there could be lunar eclipses. Despite the preacher’s ravings, it seemed like no big deal, but if so, then what is NASA hiding? This could be really exciting! Let’s read on:

Users trying to find the site are now presented with a message stating, “NASA’s Eclipse Website is currently unavailable. Eclipse information is available from the U.S. Naval Observatory,” providing a link for readers to get to the USNO website.

Yes, that’s right. This is a link to NASA’s Eclipse Website, which provides a link to the US Naval Observatory’s list of Eclipses of the Sun and Moon. All the eclipse information is readily available there. It lists lunar eclipses through September of 2015. We checked, and that list includes the same four eclipses the preacher has been raving about. No information seems to be hidden, and NASA’s link sends you right there. Then what’s the big deal? Let’s read on:

WND contacted NASA to ask why the official eclipse site was removed, and if it had anything to do with the report about upcoming blood moons.

NASA probably has lots of experience with crazy phone calls. Here’s their response, according to WND:

“The site was taken offline because it was not up to date and was therefore confusing to those planning for future solar eclipses,” said Karen Smale, the Web editor-in-chief for NASA’s Sciences and Exploration Directorate at the Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md. “If the site is updated again, it will be brought back online,” she added.

Does that sound suspicious? WND doesn’t discuss the cover-up any more. Instead, they go back to their earlier article and give a lot of repetitive stuff from the preacher. If you want to read that again, go ahead — click over to WND. But there’s no more information about the big NASA conspiracy. Well, they do give screenshots of what they say was on the NASA website before it was taken down, but they don’t say what was so important there that it had to be hidden.

So there you are, dear reader. According to WND, NASA is involved in a cover-up of cosmic proportions. Therefore it must be true that the world is going to end. Soon! We hope you’re ready.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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30 responses to “WND: NASA Is Hiding the End of the World

  1. Lewis Thomasonn

    These people are total idiots,unfortunately if you try to comment on the WND site about how illogical this article is they will ban you for life.

  2. Ceteris Paribus

    Lewis reports: “they [WND] will ban you for life.”

    That’s only because the franchise to operate the Eternal Lake of Fire was already taken by one of their competitors.

  3. But obviously they have an audience of total idiots who suck this stuff up.

  4. Nice, I only saw the headline and now I have Great Lakes Porter all over my desk and keyboard.

  5. From the WND article:

    “Don’t be left in the dark! Find out everything you need to know about the “Blood Moons” phenomenon. Get the DVD, the autographed book and the calendar direct from the WND Superstore.”

    People wouldn’t be trying to make a buck off this, would they?

  6. I’m willing to bet this is all Obama’s fault.

  7. Mark Germano says: “I’m willing to bet this is all Obama’s fault.”

    There’s no doubt he’s involved. But I think these eclipses are caused by global warming.

  8. Doctor Stochastic

    Candelaria TX may not be the end of he world, but you can see the end from there.

  9. Stephen Kennedy

    The rev here may be a genuine lunatic or he could just be a con man trying to sell books and DVDs to the stupid. However, I am convinced that nearly all of the commenters on WND are truly insane. In fact, they would fit in very well with the patients I had during medical school when I was doing my six week rotation at a locked psych ward of a teaching hospital. The major difference is that the delusions my patients had did not involve religion. No matter how wacky a religious belief you have you will not be institutionalized in this country but if you believe you are being controlled by an alien spacecraft, which is no more preposterous than believing that jesus Christ is coming back any day now, you get locked up in a psych ward.

  10. It’s depressing that WorldNutDaily exists because we live in a country and society that treasures ignorance. I live among possibly the dumbest people on the planet here in southeast Texas. They are the target demographic for WND.

    The culture of the southern United States is a culture of gun fondling, bible thumping morons. What happened to The Enlightenment?

  11. The WND is so blindingly, moronically stupid that I hope that our Curmudgeon can see his way clear someday to suitably embellish the Buffoon logo especially for them. Just a thought.

  12. Bloodmoon serves hedonist lunatics as well: Back in 2011 German Bild-Zeitung promissed it readers that bloodmoon will make them crazy for sex and asked astrologists for explanation.

  13. I was in a Barnes and Noble, looking for Stephen Meyer’s ID creationist book– of course it was under Christianity, not under Science– and there was “Blood Moons” prominently featured in hardcover. Anything for a buck, eh, even paranoid theocracy.

  14. SC: “But I think these eclipses are caused by global warming.”

    You’ve got the arrow pointing in the wrong direction. Theses eclipses are causing global warming. At least that’s what they think in South Dakota.

  15. I wonder, do the WND folks think the rest of us are crazy?

  16. @anevimeme
    The Devil is at work.

  17. It is indeed odd NASA would take down the eclipse page so they can be updated. Eclipses are known exactly when they will occur centuries in advance. The page is unlikely to have required change. My hunch is that too many crazies were calling and emailing about the upcoming tetrad so they took it down for that reason. As an alternate to NASA, Mreclipse.com has very good eclipse info.

  18. I have now checked the websites of The White House, the United Nations, the ACLU, the D.A.R., the European Union, Procter & Gamble, Walmart, the Vatican, the Boy Scouts of America, and General Motors. None of them have any information about the lunar eclipses of doom!

    This conspiracy of silence is even bigger than WND are reporting!

    So: WND must be part of the conspiracy as well!

  19. Why are so many religious people so keen for the “end of times” to be nigh? I quite enjoy being alive. If God exists and he really insists on the whole fire and brimstone thing, I’d still rather he held off for a while. There’s too many things I haven’t done yet. But sometimes it seems like these people can’t wait for it all to end.

  20. Megalonyx reports: “I have now checked the websites of The White House, the United Nations …”

    Aha! Although your research was limited, you have unknowingly blundered into The TRVTH! This eclipse prophecy is the reason the Obamacare website doesn’t work!

  21. @Megalonyx: As a stockholder and former employee, I thank you for spelling “Procter & Gamble” correctly.

    (It is frequently misspelled as “Proctor”.) An exec had a large sign on his wall — “ProctEr & Gamble”.

  22. Wow, I stumbled onto the Ted Nugent page at WND and thought my head was going to explode with all the ignorant and racist commentary and misinformation. These people are clearly suspicious of anybody with an IQ above a 100, in fact one commenter even said so, saying smart people are a threat to the republic! Of course he may have been refereeing the Weimar Republic but who am I to quibble?

    After that experience I really beginning to wonder what it is like to never have a single original thought in ones life?

  23. @Erik Bertel

    Yep: you’re right. I used to subscribe to World Nuts Daily’s email alerts, partly because they’re often hilarious/vile and partly because I collect lunacies. But then they stopped arriving and my attempts at resubscribing got nowhere. I haven’t worked out if my ISP started banning WND as offensive spam or if the mighty WND computers detected that I wasn’t truly an enthusiast of the Dark Side.

  24. The “end of times” scenarios that keep popping up are peoples’ rejection of their lives and wishes for a better afterlife, as told to them by these ignorant preachers. The flaw comes into play when they think that it is “they, the selected ones,” who will be uplifted to their magical, otherworldly “seventh heaven” based on these beliefs, and the rest of us “sinners” will receive our just rewards elsewhere becasuse “they” are clearly holier and more deserving than we.

  25. Stephen Kennedy

    lanceleuven asks:
    “Why are so many religious people so keen for the “end of times” to be nigh?”

    The reason is simple. In their sick and twisted minds that is when there will finally be justice. While they leave their empty lives here to spend eternity in heaven, they will have the great pleasure of seeing those of us who do not share their beliefs cast into the lake of fire. They are actually eager to see unbelievers tortured.

  26. @DavidK
    This reminds me of the ancient competitor (heresy) to Christianity known as Manichaeism. The world is evil. The idea that we humans would be revealed to the rest of the world is abhorrent.

  27. Pope Retiredsciguy outs himself as “a stockholder and former employee” of Procter & Gamble.

    He is too modest to also reveal he was the model for the original Satanic P&G Man in the Moon logo. — which surely implicates him even more deeply in this hideous Lunar Eclipse Conspiracy to Destroy our Planet!

  28. Why are so many religious people so keen for the “end of times” to be nigh?

    I believe so many of them live such tired, desperate lives that the promise of the end of times actually removes a large burden from them: the responsibility for improving their lives. I mean why worry about figuring out how to pay the mortgage if the rapture is nigh. To them it’s the ultimate Jesus take the wheel.

  29. @Megalonyx: Ha! You have a long memory. That whole satanic rumor thing about P&G was evidently started by some Amway distributors in Arizona back in the ’80s.

    Amway itself was started by a couple of evangelicals, and many of their distributors/customers were of the same ilk. They were all too eager to accept the crazy idea and spread it through their churches and to their friends and neighbors.

    P&G retired their famous logo because of it. Probably a good thing; it was getting a bit dated.