Creationist Wisdom #400: Preacher with Proof

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Muskogee Phoenix of Muskogee, Oklahoma, and it’s titled Proof of Bible’s credibility hard to get past .

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we usually omit the writer’s full name and city. But today’s letter-writer is a preacher — Rev. Barret Vanlandingham of the Fort Gibson Church of Christ. We’ll give you a few excerpts from the rev’s letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. Okay, here we go:

The recent debate between atheist Bill Nye “The Science Guy” and creationist Ken Ham is a very good reminder for Christians to know why we believe what we believe.

Yes, the debate must have been thrilling for the rev. Skipping over a bible quote, we come to this:

I was surprised to hear Nye’s statement regarding the Genesis account of the flood, especially since he is known as “The Science Guy.” He insists that the Biblical flood is not rooted in historical fact. I find that to be strange considering the vast amounts of evidence in favor of a worldwide flood.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The rev is going to present his evidence for the Flood. But before we get to that, we’ll exercise our editorial prerogative and give you a link to our Top Ten Reasons Noah’s Flood is Mythology. Okay, let’s see some of the rev’s evidence:

For starters, every major culture around the world has reported a worldwide flood. Apologetics Press reports that most historians say there are at least 200 such legends.

Whoopee! How many cultures have legends of drought, famine, and other disasters? Does that mean they’re all about identical, global events? As for the numerous and obvious dissimilarities of various flood legends, see ICR: Even More Proof of the Flood. Let’s read on:

More evidence for a worldwide flood comes from an abundance of trilobite fossils. Trilobites were a small ocean-dwelling arthropod creature. They are thought to be extinct. … Their fossils have been found on every continent on Earth. They have been discovered in deserts, the Grand Canyon, and on mountaintops all over the world. I wonder how an ocean creature could wind up in all these places, especially on mountaintops? Hmm.

That’s one we haven’t seen before. It’s a good argument — assuming those fossils are all the same age, and also assuming the Earth is young and its geological features like mountains and oceans have always been stable. The rev continues:

Science says that for something to be believable, you have to be able to measure it and repeat the experiment. No one has ever witnessed or measured any evolution of one species becoming another. In fact, there is no fossil evidence that one species or animal ever became a different species.

Aaaargh!! Once again, we’ll link to our Common Creationist Claims Confuted (CCCC). The rev’s argument is in the section titled “Operational” science vs. “Historical” (origins) science.

Then he sloppily mentions the alleged lack of transitional fossils and he claims that those which have been found are frauds. That nonsense is also covered in our CCCC. Here’s more:

According to science’s own standards, the Big Bang Theory can’t even be true, because something cannot come from nothing. Therefore, something had to have always existed. Obviously, a Christian believes that the “something” is God.

This guy has proof up the wazoo! It must be crowded in there, because that’s also where he seems to keep — no, we don’t want to be disrespectful, so we’ll restrain ourselves. Moving along:

As for the speed of light … we don’t know how fast it goes in deep space. In fact, recently, lab experiments have shown that the speed of light is NOT constant.

Lordy, lordy. Here, dear reader, your Curmudgeon will depart from his long-standing practice. We won’t bother with a link to something that refutes the rev. It’s not worth our time or yours. Here’s his final paragraph, all in one dump:

Bottom line, the Big Bang Theory and Darwin’s theory of evolution and the Bible’s account of creation each requires faith. It is true that by scientific measurements, the universe might be billions of years old. But for me, I am going to side with the Bible’s account of creation, that it took six days to create everything fully mature, and that by the Bible’s timeline, about 6,000 years has passed since then. Have a great week!

And so, dear reader, with the addition of the rev’s inspiring letter, our collection has reached number 400. How much more can we endure?

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #400: Preacher with Proof

  1. Thanks to the Rev I at least had a couple of great minutes.

  2. I am sure another 400 are coming. Unless of course the end of days gets here first!

  3. These letter writers are getting dumber and dumber.

  4. As for the speed of light … we don’t know how fast it goes in deep space. In fact, recently, lab experiments have shown that the speed of light is NOT constant.

    1) So, we can’t know. And we can know (we can measure it).
    2) It isn’t only “historical” science that is not real science. There is also “far away” science. Any other parts of science which are uncomfortable?

  5. There’s a typo in the title of your post here, Curmy. It should read:

    Creationist Wisdom #400: Preacher Imbibing Too Much 80 Proof

  6. The Rev says “I wonder how an ocean creature could wind up in all these places, especially on mountaintops?”

    Our Curmudgeon says “It’s a good argument — assuming those fossils are all the same age, and also assuming the Earth is young and its geological features like mountains and oceans have always been stable.”

    Of course, the mountains have NOT always been there; evidently, The Rev hasn’t heard of plate tectonics or is choosing to ignore all the solid evidence supporting it.

    The fact that fossils of all sorts of marine critters are found on mountains and other high and dry areas is the most likely explanation of how all the flood mythologies got started in the first place. The fact that mountain ranges can form when different plates of the Earth’s crust collide is a 20th century discovery. It’s understandable that The Rev may not have heard of it.

  7. I suspect that the rev hasn’t heard of much of anything outside of his holy book. This guy, just like all professional creationists, has a great schtick . . . keep the rubes happy and stupid, and he can have their money.

  8. Leonardo da Vinci made the good enough argument about shells on mountain tops. Gould told the story in an essay “Leonardo’s Mountain of Clams”.

  9. Doctor Stochastic

    SN 1987A

  10. Doctor Stochastic refers to a means of measuring lightspeed far away: by measuring the time it takes for the radiation blast from supernova 1987A to hit the nebulae around it.

  11. @Doctor Stochastic & Diogenes : Precisely. Unfortunately, this method of measuring the speed of light in deep space may be a little too “deep” for The Rev & His Rubes to understand.

  12. @Megalonyx and SC: Actually, the headline should have read: Proof of Bible’s credibility hard to get past

  13. Doctor Stochastic

    It’s not bigamy, it’s not relativity, it’s trigonometry.

  14. Back in the 70’s I lived in southern LA. The local newspaper one day had a short two paragraph (maybe one) article, somewhere tucked away on page two or three. It told of a California university doing a study of sediment deposits from the Mississippi River into the Gulf of Mexico I think. The purpose was to correlate yearly sediments deposits to yearly rainfall on the continental US (feeding the Mississippi). Much like tree rings giving away age, sediment deposits can give away annual rainfall amounts. They stated they discovered a huge layer deposit dating back 6000 years and that the corresponding continental rainfall would have been enough to flood the entire continent. It was stated quite matter of fact,and ended right there. I believe it was a state university. I had just become a christian and so I was quite struck that it was stated in such a non-religious context. It would be nice to have the article and even the findings of the study . Not sure if article said 6000 or 8000 years ago, but around that time.