Creationist Wisdom #407: Figured It Out

Today’s letter-to-the-editor is very brief, but it nevertheless deserves a place in our collection. It appears in the Walla Walla Union-Bulletin of Walla Walla, Washington, which is famous for its sweet onions. The title is Something has to be created to evolve.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we will only say that the letter-writer’s first name is Rex. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Okay, here we go:

Webster’s dictionary explains the meaning of creation and evolution to whit [sic]:

• Evolution: “The gradual development or descent of forms of life from simple or low organized types consisting of a single cell.”

• Creation: “The act of creating the thing created.”

• Create: “To cause to come into existence — formed out of nothing.”

Wow! Rex went to the dictionary! Why didn’t anyone think of that before? Here’s what he says about his findings:

Therefore evolution depends on the creation of something as simple as a single cell — so without creation — there is no evolution.

Your Curmudgeon is stunned! For more than 150 years, people have been debating about evolution, and Rex has finally solved the problem. This is absolutely amazing! Let’s read on:

To put it in simple terms — without creation there is nothing.

Yes. Yes! Suddenly it’s all so clear! Rex ends his letter with a summary of his findings:

So in essence, which came first, the egg or the chicken — simple, without the chicken there would be no egg.

Egad — what a fool we’ve been! Rex has opened our eyes. Maybe we should close down this blog and move on to other challenges.

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10 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #407: Figured It Out

  1. Maybe Rex King can open his dictionary again – not a pocke one – and look up abiogenesis.

  2. I can’t wait until he finds a thesaurus.

  3. College Place, a suburb of Walla Walla, is the home of my alma mater, Walla Walla College (now WWU, but that just doesn’t sound right to me), a fine SDA institution. The creationism runs deep there. Although, to give credit where it is due, when one of my fellow students asked the biology 101 prof when we going to get to the creationism part of the course he was informed that the purpose of the department was to make students able to participate in the literature of the field, and that while we might be sure in our hearts…yada yada… that sort of thing was not to be found in said literature. This was actually the first time I had heard of this “literature” thing, and it began a mercifully short slide out of fundyism and into rationality

    I gather from some recent goings on at Adventist schools that I may have been there in the good old days (1970) vis a vis the theocs leaving the bio department alone.

  4. “So in essence, which came first, the egg or the chicken — simple, without the chicken there would be no egg.”

    Actually, without the chicken and the rooster there would be no fertile egg, so therefore when we are talking about what we call a chicken today, what came first was the egg. And that’s how evolution works, baby.

  5. RSG writes>”Actually, without the chicken and the rooster there would be no fertile egg, …”

    Settle down there Your Eminence, this is a family blog.


  6. Yeah, randy roosters aside, my point is that the thing that hatched from the egg is unique and slightly different from either the hen or the cock. (Can I say “cock”?)

    Multiply all the slight changes over hundreds or thousands of generations, and eventually you may get a new species. Or not. A lot depends on whether there is a change in the environment that favors the “new” chicken. But we all know that. Too bad there isn’t a Bible verse that says the same thing, because then there would be no objections to teaching evolution.

  7. Wow, I’m impressed. A creationist that has more than one book. Progress!

  8. The protochicken came first.

  9. Tripp in Georgia

    Poor guy! At least his blissful reductionism is a bit of a break from the bizarre, incoherent word-salad philosophies.

  10. Ceteris Paribus

    Ken Phelps notes: “Walla Walla College (now WWU, but that just doesn’t sound right to me)”

    Could be worse. The boys ’round here tend to pronounce their W as “dub-yuh”. So your WWU alma mater would likely come out as “dub-yuh dub-yuh dub”