Creationist Wisdom #410: Mysterious Meaning

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Quad-City Times located in Davenport, Iowa. The title is One nation under God.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we’ll just use the letter-writer’s first name, which is Ryan. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Okay, here we go:

We all have the freedom of choice and free will to believe what we believe – I get that. What I do not understand is how America has become so desensitized.

Oh dear — we’ve become desensitized! Your Curmudgeon can easily sympathize with Ryan’s anguish, because “Sensitivity” is our middle name. We’re going to enjoy this letter. Ryan then tells us:

Here is what gets me. When I was a kid, there was no nudity or cursing on TV, at least that I can remember. We said the Pledge of Allegiance in school, and nobody was offended by it.

Nudity on TV? They show genitals on television? Oh dear — that’s disgusting! How did such a thing happen? Let’s read on:

Yet in schools, evolution is taught. Last time, I checked it was just a theory, so how can you teach that, but not give students the choice to say the Pledge of Allegiance?

Aaaargh!! Nudity, evolution, the Pledge of Allegiance? Again we say: Aaaargh!! Even your Curmudgeon’s fabled sensitivity has limits. What is going on in Ryan’s brain? Perhaps we’ll figure it out soon. His letter continues:

“One nation under God” – have we forgotten what that means? It sets our standard for living.

It sets our standard for living? Huh? We thought it was a political slogan, like “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Where does evolution fit in? And nudity? Come on, Ryan, connect the dots for us!

Here’s his next paragraph — perhaps the mysterious meaning of Ryan’s letter will be solved:

People are so afraid to talk religion because they’re afraid of offending someone. Life is more about living and treating people right, not judging whether we have God in our life or not. Morality sets the boundaries.

Aaaargh!! The letter ends with a scripture quote, so we’ll stop here. What was this guy trying to tell us? Can anyone figure it out? Anyone?

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

24 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #410: Mysterious Meaning

  1. Our Curmudgeon reveals

    Your Curmudgeon can easily sympathize with Ryan’s anguish, because “Sensitivity” is our middle name.

    Er, that’s not quite the case. “Sensitivity” is an anagram of your middle names, which is “Testis in Ivy”.

  2. Our Curmudgeon longs to know

    Where does evolution fit in? And nudity?

    If God wanted people to run around naked, we would have been born that way…

  3. I went to a very liberal school and we said the Pledge of Allegiance in the nude.

  4. Realist1948

    The situation is even worse than Ryan describes. Not only are children learning about evolution — the bacteria that cause tuberculosis and other diseases are learning about evolution and they are practicing it!
    This was emphasized in the latest installment of the PBS series “Frontline.”
    We need to stop teaching disease-causing bacteria and viruses about evolution so they will stop doing it. Developing new drugs to counter new strains of disease-causing bugs is costing us dearly.

  5. Megalonyx has attempted an anagram of my middle name. The time has come to disclose that Megalonyx is really an anagram for what he whispered into Olivia’s ear just before she fled: “My Oxen Gal.”

  6. Doc Bill confesses

    I went to a very liberal school and we said the Pledge of Allegiance in the nude.

    As opposed to a Bible School, where students wrap themselves in the flag and take the Pledge of Abstinence…

  7. Monkeys at a typewriter.

  8. Charles Deetz ;)

    “One nation under God” – have we forgotten what that means?

    I think some people have decided it is “One nation under MY God.”

  9. Instead of doing the morning political mantra of the “Pledge of Allegiance”, maybe his school should have taught him what a thesis is.

  10. Mark Germano

    I find it interesting that those who make such a fuss over pledging allegiance to the flag are rarely the ones who swear an oath to support and defend the constitution.

  11. Retired Prof

    Poke fun all you want, but the Pledge of Allegiance is what keeps us safe. If Timothy McVeigh had not recited the Pledge as a boy in school, he would have rented an even bigger truck and filled it with even more explosives.

  12. Mark Germano said:
    I find it interesting that those who make such a fuss over pledging allegiance to the flag are rarely the ones who swear an oath to support and defend the constitution.

    But Mark, what does reciting “…under God” have to do with supporting and defending the Constitution? That’s the rub. I do recall in grade school reciting the pledge many a time w/o “… under God” as it had yet to be inserted by the demands of the anti-communist religious right-wingers in the 1950’s under Eisenhower.

  13. Retired Prof

    SC asks if anyone can figure Ryan’s prose out. I can’t. These sentences for example: “Life is more about living and treating people right, not judging whether we have God in our life or not. Morality sets the boundaries.”

    I think he’s saying it’s a sorry pass we’ve come to when mere morality trumps having (his) god in our life. He thinks it’s better to be a pious soul than a decent human being.

    If that is actually what he means, he’s opposing the central goal of the religion he claims to revere: to love one’s neighbor as oneself. Also he’s blowing away the freedom of religion clause in the First Amendment.

  14. This letter is how I’d imagine it would sound if Archie Bunker got drunk, passed out, and started yammering in his sleep.

  15. I’m still in shock after learning about nudity on TV. Does anyone know what channel that’s on? I ask, in order to be certain that I never go there.

  16. Eddie Janssen

    I think he is suffering from Weltschmerz.

  17. Our Curmudgeon, who so nobly does daily battle with the Forces of Darkness, has alas succumbed to their vile technique of quote-mining.

    I hereby present the full quotation, with the portions Curmy omitted here restored in bold: I

    whispered into Olivia’s ear just before she fled the bounds of merely mortal pleasure and was transported to a realm of ultimate physical ecstasy, “Yes, you may [edited out] on: My Oxen-like [edited out], Gal.”

  18. Retired Prof

    Eddie, there’s a tonic for Weltschmerz called Schnapps. Unfortunately, it only eases the pain. It does nothing to improve the rhetoric, as Troy observes.

  19. Mark Germano

    DavidK asks “what does reciting “…under God” have to do with supporting and defending the Constitution?”

    Absolutely nothing, as far as I’m concerned. I probably wasn’t clear enough, but I was thinking of the Sean Hannity-style chicken hawks when I wrote my comment. He gets up-in-arms when some kid doesn’t want to stand to say the pledge or refuses to say the “…under God” part. But, when it comes to raising their right hands and solemnly swearing to support and defend against the constitution’s “enemies, foreign and domestic,” chickenhawks like Hannity are conspicuously absent.

  20. On the political side, on the Ed show on MSNBC, he showed Ted Cruz’s father ranting about Obama and how the President absolutely refused to say those words, “… under God …” whenever he publicly recited the pledge. Afterwards, Ed had the audacity to show five video clips of Obama uttering those very words, making a liar out of Cruze senior. In the Cruz case, like father, like son.

    And no, they don’t rush to defend the Constitution by bearing arms in its defense. Toothless chickenhawks one and all.

  21. Look on the bright side: if the non sequitur becomes an Olympic event, Ryan will win gold.

  22. Our poor SC asks desperately: “Does anyone know what channel that’s on?”
    I suppose Playboy Channel.

  23. @Megalonyx:

    As opposed to a Bible School, where students wrap themselves in the flag and take the Pledge of Abstinence…

    No, that is how fascism will come to America.