The Little Girl and the Creationists

We wish this were a fable, but it’s not. It’s is a very revealing tale of how maniacal creationist legislators deal with the dream of a sweet 8 year-old girl.

First we’ll give you some background from about a week ago. A Fox television station in Greenville, South Carolina reported SC 8-year-old girl pushes for official state fossil. They said that 8-year-old Olivia McConnell thought South Carolina should have a state fossil. She wrote letters to her state representative and state senator and gave them her reasons.

“Fossils tell a lot about how animals lived backed then. And the first vertebrae backbone found in North America was actually found here in South Carolina,” McConnell said. “Since the Columbian Mammoth was a very, very interesting fossil about a similar animal that lives today, it would be a great thing.”

McConnell’s representatives out of Clarendon County created a bill that would name the Columbian Mammoth the state’s official fossil.

Lovely story — so far. But then the creationists got involved. Sen. Kevin Bryant, of Anderson County, wanted to amend the bill to add some text from Genesis, but it was ruled out of order because in South Carolina, as in many states, amendments can’t add a new subject to a bill. But that was just the beginning.

In The Greenville News of Greenville, South Carolina we read More controversy ahead for Columbian mammoth. They say, with bold font added by us:

The Columbian mammoth survived an ice age, but whether it can survive the South Carolina Senate as the state’s official fossil remains to be seen. The elephant-sized mammal that once roamed this part of the world faces a new challenge this week in making it into the book of official state symbols. And the dream of an 8-year-old girl who suggested that the Legislature adopt a state fossil hangs in the balance.

What’s the problem now? We’re told:

Last week, state Sen. Kevin Bryant tried unsuccessfully to insert a Bible verse into the bill. This week, the Anderson Republican is putting forward a new amendment that refers to the animal “as created on the sixth day with the beasts of the field.”

“I think it’s an appropriate time to acknowledge the creator,” he told The Greenville News.


But he said he would support the bill regardless of the fate of his amendment.

Win or lose, he collected a few rapture points. But wait — there’s more:

Sen. Mike Fair, R-Greenville, had raised an objection last week that temporarily killed the bill after Lt. Gov. Glenn McConnell ruled Bryant’s amendment out of order. But Fair said he withdrew his objection after another senator told him the story of the Lake City girl’s campaign to get an official state fossil approved.

Mike Fair is a flaming creationist. We’ve written before about his bizarre legislative activities. Someone must have explained to him that beating up on a little girl isn’t good for his career. Let’s read on:

Fair said he was willing to support the bill with or without Bryant’s amendment. He said he placed his objection on the bill only to leverage senators to remove objections they had placed on some of his bills, which were unrelated to the state symbols issue. “I’ll vote for the bill standalone, and I appreciate the young girl,” Fair said.

Idiot! The newspaper knows all about him. They say:

Fair has made news before for his view that evolution shouldn’t be taught as scientific fact in public schools. He supports his position in part by what advocates of the intelligent design concept say about the fossil record.

Regardless of how the state fossil controversy turns out, a larger issue over state science standards in public schools remains to be fought, and Fair serves on the state Education Oversight Committee, the panel of educators and lawmakers that will decide it.

We’ve written about that before — see South Carolina Science Standards — No Problem? It hasn’t been resolved yet. But now, a little girl’s delightful suggestion about the mammoth is being held hostage by the creationists.

What do we learn from this tale? The lesson is simple: Creationists, despite their holy pretensions, are a pack of mindless savages. When wandering around alone, they’re often harmless, but if they’re in political office — watch out!

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “The Little Girl and the Creationists

  1. Sounds like Kevin Bryant and Mike Fair are both eminently qualified to be the state fossil.

  2. waldteufel

    “Sounds like Kevin Bryant and Mike Fair are both eminently qualified to be the state fossil”. . . . .or the State Joke.

  3. anevilmeme

    Would use of the term scumbags be out of order?

  4. I thought Strom Thurmond was the SC State Fossil…

  5. Wouldn’t it be nice if America required every local, state, and federal politician/bureaucrat to pass an intelligence/knowledge test – at least to prove that they went to K-12 school and paid a little bit of attention along the way.

  6. SC’s state fossil: slime mold found in the legislature.

  7. @James St. John: Not a bad idea. After all, state legislatures all over the country are really big on using standardized tests for students at every grade level to determine the competency of teachers. Perhaps they should pass a test before running for office — and their grade be published prior to the election.

    Of course, the state and federal constitutions would need to be amended and the the politicians are the ones who do the amending, so I’m not going to hold my breath.

  8. Holding the Line in Florida

    @retiredscieguy Slime Molds are honorable organisms, especially in their plasmodial stage. They can’t be compared to legislatures. They are higher on the evolutionary scale!

  9. Mark Joseph

    Good post and discussion about this here.

    You can leave a comment at Kevin Bryant’s website here.

  10. It’s interesting that the entire Brachiopoda phylum is (are) the state fossil(s) of Kentucky, home of Ken Ham’s miraculous Creation Museum. Although some species of brachiopods are still around today, all of Kentucky’s fossil brachiopods are Paleozoic. The oldest strata exposed in the state is Ordovician age, mostly ~450 mya, and surrounds Ham’s museum. Just about every rock you pick up in the region is loaded with easily recognized fossils, all long-extinct species.

    That ol’ Satan was sure busy burying all those fossils all over the state! He was bound and determined to fool us, wasn’t he? The ultimate April Fool’s joke.

  11. @Mark Joseph: I apologize to slime mold everywhere.

  12. Kevin Bryant and Mike Fair, state legislators, are now picking on little 8 year olds? Creationism and its advocates are more than disgusting.

  13. “Fair withdraws objection to state fossil bill”


    “The future of the long-extinct mammal as an official state symbol remains uncertain, however. Fair said another amendment had been inserted after he withdrew his objection last Thursday.”

    “Fair withdraws …” – Greenville Online

  14. DavidK says: “Creationism and its advocates are more than disgusting.”

    You must learn to be more tolerant. If it were up to me, I would give those legislators a little payback by adopting their methods. Every time one of them introduces a bill, I would honor them and their creationism by proposing an amendment that adds to their bill this inspiring passage from the Good Book:

    Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. (Genesis 19:36)