Creationist Candidate for Governor of Idaho

The record is unmistakable — we’ve been ignoring Idaho. It hasn’t been intentional, but Idaho rarely gets mentioned in our humble blog. That’s going to change, starting today.

In the current race for Governor of that state, one of the candidates is Walter Bayes. He, along with Russ Fulcher and Harley Brown, are running against the incumbent Governor, Butch Otter, in the Republican Primary May 20. Why do we care? It’s because of a column written by Bayes, which was brought to our attention by the Drool-o-tron™.

We can’t find Bayes’ campaign website. Maybe he doesn’t have one. The only biographical information we could locate about the guy is in this article from a couple of weeks ago, where he answered a newspaper’s questionnaire: Walt Bayes questionnaire response. He hasn’t held any political office before, but he says he pastored the Fargo Community Church for seven years.

His column appears the Idaho Statesman of Boise, Idaho. It appears to be part of a series they’re running about the candidates and the issues. This one is Walter Bayes on Idaho’s prison challenges. They have a picture of Bayes with his column — he looks like an Old Testament prophet. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

The prison system is a very complicated subject. There are two major problems we are facing.

To be brutally candid, your Curmudgeon has no interest whatsoever in the Idaho prison system. The only reason we’re here is because the Drool-o-tron™ detected strong signs of creationism. We’ll have to skip around until we find it. Let’s see … ah, he gives an interesting bible quote:

Jeremiah 13:23, “Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? Then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.”

What does the Ethiopian’s skin have to do with Idaho prisons? Let’s read on:

The Bible states the only way a man can be saved and his heart changed is to accept Jesus Christ and follow his commandments. I myself had a very foul mouth … . I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, and ever after it brought tears to my eyes that anyone would take the Lord’s name in vain. … I am not suggesting we force Christianity on anyone, but simply make sure there are Christian ministers and literature available.

That’s a good use of state funds. He continues:

Today’s schools teach evolution and sex ed, in direct opposition to the word of God. They teach young girls that they should enter the workplace and compete with men, and to forsake the God-given duties of a wife and mother.

[…]

When you take God out of school, you have an ungodly school, and you will have to build another prison to hold ungodly graduates.

Wow — teaching evolution means we have to keep building more prisons! Perhaps this guy has discovered the true cause of society’s problems. We hope Idaho elects Walter Bayes. We’ll have great blogging material every day. Here’s more:

When you buy a new car you get a manual on how to care for your new acquisition. The car now belongs to you. … When God made man and gave him a family, he gave us a Bible, which is a manual. You follow the teachings of Christ, and things will work out all right, or you can let the government raise your kids, and you will need a prison to hold them!

Walter Bayes seems to have answers. If you live in Idaho, he could be the Governor you’ve been looking for. We’ll keep you advised about his progress — that is, if he ever finds his way into the news again.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Candidate for Governor of Idaho

  1. With a name like Bayes, how can anyone resist:

    P(S|R) is the probability that one is in-on-the-scam given that one has made public evolution rants.
    P(R|S) is the probability that one will make a public evolution rant if one is in-on-the-scam.
    P(R) is the probability that one will make a public evolution rant
    P(S) is the probability that one is in-on-the-scam, as opposed to merely clueless.

    But P(R|S) is 0.9999 or ~1, so it reduces to P(S|R) = P(S) / P(R)

  2. make that “anti-evolution rant(s)”

  3. The Bible states the only way a man can be saved and his heart changed is to accept Jesus Christ…[Today’s schools] teach young girls that they should enter the workplace and compete with men, and to forsake the God-given duties of a wife and mother.

    Translation: “We don’t need no stinkin’ Jewish vote or women’s vote.”

  4. Ceteris Paribus

    Bayes mentions to the Idaho Statesman newspaper:

    ” We have 8 sons and 8 daughters. Every one of them can earn their own living and none of them depend on either us or Welfare. 4 of my sons have been Pro-Rodeo Cowboys. We have 43 Grandchildren and 7 Great Grandchildren.”

    Sure to goodness with a list of progeny that long and so well qualified for political office, Bayes could send at least a few of them to Kansas and reinvigorate our current lackluster Republican frauds party.

  5. I have a better idea: how about if we make Scientology literature available instead? Then the prisoners could get a good laugh while they’re being saved by religion.

  6. He’s obviously pandering to the mormon voters – temperance, large family, women in the home, etc.

    I think this guy is sincere in his beliefs, though. Without any qualifications to govern other than a set of religious beliefs, I suspect he will not get very far in the campaign.

  7. “I am not suggesting we force Christianity on anyone, but simply make sure there are Christian ministers and literature available.”
    It will please candidate Bayes to learn that the percentage christians in prison is considerably higher than outside.
    Here some more:

    http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1314&dat=20020524&id=iGVWAAAAIBAJ&sjid=p_IDAAAAIBAJ&pg=4892,2481116

  8. This guy doesn’t have a ghost of a chance, even in Idaho — unless the Spud State’s women don’t vote, or only vote as their menfolk instruct them to.

    And Frank J, I don’t think he has to worry much about the Jewish vote — not in Idaho, anyway. He might have to worry, though, about swearing to uphold the constitution if he’s elected. Such an act would definitely conflict with his religious views.

  9. Stephen Kennedy

    The fact that he would rather quote the bible than this country’s real foundational document, the U.S. Constitution, tells me all I need to know about this creationist fanatic.

  10. @retiredsciguy

    He may be able to safely sacrifice votes from the small % of Jews, but not of women. But whether in-on-the-scam or “true believer” with regard to anti-evolution, he is certainly an idealist who cares more about being right than winning. Which means that he’s neither a shameless panderer (which I suspect most anti-evolution politicians are) nor a pragmatist who bends, but without sacrificing core principles.

  11. Frank J: “He may be able to safely sacrifice votes from the small % of Jews, but not of women.”

    That was my point — he hasn’t got a ghost of a chance unless the women of Idaho don’t vote.

  12. Pope RSG said:

    This guy doesn’t have a ghost of a chance, even in Idaho — unless the Spud State’s women don’t vote, or only vote as their menfolk instruct them to.

    You have to remember, m’lord, that Idaho is the buckle of the fundamentalist belt. Many (if not most) of the fundamentalist Christian militias are HQed there, or have a large presence. They’re the ones for whom the men believe it is their duty to spread their “seed”, and the women believe it is their duty to help the men. There is a large contingent of people in the state who not only feel the way that Bayes does, but feel that way very militantly.

  13. Four sons that are “pro-rodeo cowboys?”

    Well, I suppose he’s definitely lost the anti-rodeo cowboy vote, then.

  14. @Cardinal Gary: Ok, ok — in that case, let’s go back to the second part of my first comment — Bayes can’t get elected unless Idaho’s women only vote the way their menfolk instruct them to.

    And I’m happy not to live there. The hymn “Onward Christian Soldiers” always scared me.

  15. Pope RSG said:

    Bayes can’t get elected unless Idaho’s women only vote the way their menfolk instruct them to.

    Sorry. I wasn’t clear in my first comment. The women of those militant fundamentalist groups WILL vote the way in which their men instruct them. The follow a very strict interpretation of the Bible in which the men dominate, and the women must subsume their thoughts to those of the men. Sooooo, now it becomes a matter of “Are there enough non-fundies in the state to defeat such nonsense?”

  16. Does Idaho have open primaries? At any rate, I’d like to think this guy is going to motivate the non-fundie women in Idaho to get out the vote. But with four candidates running in the GOP primary, it might be interesting. Does the winner need to get a majority of the vote, or just a plurality?