Creationist Wisdom #417: An Easter Letter

Creationists can’t even write a coherent letter-to-the-editor about Easter. Today’s letter appears in the Topeka Capital-Journal of Topeka, Kansas. The title is God is the answer.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we’ll just use the letter-writer’s first name, which is Darrell. Here are a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Okay, let’s go:

Where did we come from? What are we doing here? Where are we going? If God didn’t create us, who did? Does nothing create nothing?

Profound questions. Darrell is a deep thinker — very deep. His next paragraph makes that unmistakable:

Think about this. There is a pool of water 300 feet across and 40 feet deep in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The Indians call it “Kitch-iti-kipi,” or “the big cold water.” It is fed by underground springs that flow at a rate of more than 10,000 gallons of water a minute at a temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit.

Here’s some more information from Wikipedia: Kitch-iti-kipi. They say it’s Michigan’s largest natural freshwater spring, which creates an oval pool measuring 300 by 175 feet, and it’s a major tourist attraction. Darrell says we should think about it. While you’re thinking, we’ll read on:

What are we doing here? If there is intelligent design by God, are we created to do nothing or are we created to seek God and to work with what has been put on this earth?

Ah — intelligent design! Well, assuming intelligent design, then what’s it all about — should we: (a) do nothing; or (b) seek God? It’s gotta be one of those two logically opposite alternatives. Darrell continues:

God has been seeking people down through the ages. Could not the God, who created us, give us salvation and eternal life?

The answer is obvious. Here’s more:

Where are we going? Remember that the cross at Easter time is empty, because as it says in John 3:16-17, “God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never die.”

The cross is empty at Easter time? What does that mean — it’s not empty the rest of the year? Well, whatever. Moving along:

God did not send his son into the world to condemn its people. He sent him to save them.

Right. He sent Adam & Eve to condemn us. And now we come to the end:

Pray, “Help me find your cross and then I can make it safely home to Heaven.”

Great letter, Darrell. But we have one lingering question: Why are we supposed to think about that pond in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan?

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #417: An Easter Letter

  1. …I’m still floundering in the waters of Kitch-iti-kipi. I am not certain I will ever be able to get out…

  2. Megalonyx confesses: “I’m still floundering in the waters of Kitch-iti-kipi.”

    Keep thinking! The truth will be revealed to you — if you are worthy.

  3. To me, this a clear example of the creationist composition/division fallacy: “God is the Creator of the individual” is not the same thing as “God is the Creator of the species”.

    One can believe that God is the Creator of the individual (and, by the way, have no problem with scientific, naturalist investigations of the reproductive process). Why does belief in God as the Creator of the individual raise any problem with the evolutionary process?

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    Maybe Darrell needs a baptism in the 45F cold spring water, that’ll snap some sense in him!

  5. TomS: “To me, this a clear example of the creationist composition/division fallacy: ‘God is the Creator of the individual’ is not the same thing as ‘God is the Creator of the species’.”

    Apologies for using a Michael Medved phrase, but once again you “focus like a laser beam” on the real issue. All evolution-deniers start out with that as an innocent mistake, but at some point recognize it as a bait-and-switch, but approve of it anyway. About the same time they also notice that the “kinds” they want to exist not only can’t be the same as “species,” but also can’t be defined consistently, because there’s no evidence that would help them. One of the toughest question one can ask a denier-in-transition (scammed to scammer) is: “Which if any of these are right?”

  6. Some Catholic churches (not sure if it’s all churches or even other denominations) remove the figure of Christ from the crucifix on Easter to represent the resurrection. This may be what Darrell is talking about. So, this is the ol’ “if a pond in Michigan is really cold and it’s Easter Sunday, Intelligent Design is true” argument.

    Darrell’s logic is watertight.

  7. Mark Germano says: “Some Catholic churches (not sure if it’s all churches or even other denominations) remove the figure of Christ from the crucifix on Easter to represent the resurrection.”

    I’m totally unfamiliar with that. It makes no sense. The crucifix is a symbol of the crucifixion. The resurrection was three days later. That’s the empty tomb, not the empty cross.

  8. @Douglas E
    Interesting that the authors of the study thought that these two represented misunderstanding:
    21. According to the theory of evolution, humans evolved from monkeys, gorillas, or apes.
    22. Scientific evidence indicates that dinosaurs and humans lived at the same in the past.

    Given that humans are apes, and
    Given that birds are dinosaurs.

    The authors at least should have taken more care in their wording.

  9. Sheesh, I don’t know. I haven’t been to Easter Mass (or any Mass, truth be told) in many years. Maybe they do it on Good Friday, which sounds right, too.

    By the way, SC, “it makes no sense” has never been an argument that concerned the Church all that much.

  10. This letter sounds as though it was written by his other brother Darrell.

  11. Thanks, RSG. I’ve just sprayed hot coffee all over everything.

  12. The wikipedia article doesn’t mention that the limestone strata at Kitch-iti-kipi (as well as the entire southern limit of the U.P.) is from the calcium exoskeletons of millions of sea creatures dating from around 500 million years ago. At the time North America was right on the equator and shallow inland salt water seas like the one that formed the Michigan basin and the resulting Niagra escarpment of limestone that surrounds the lower peninsula. This gave us the salt mines under Detroit as well as the limestone previously mentioned. The famous Petoskey stones that wash up on the shores of Lake Michigan are the result of coral from about the same epoch.
    The creationist looks in awe at something say hey look what God made, glory to God. Those who do this tend to overlook the more interesting explanation for what I’d call a vapid ooh and ahh.

  13. @Douglas E: Thanks for the link. Interesting study, and from my experience teaching, not too surprising, unfortunately.

    In too many high schools around this nation, football is a higher priority than education. Thus, the football coach (or an assistant) is often assigned to teach history, biology, or a general science course, if the health or driver’s ed position is already filled. In other words, the man is hired based on his coaching abilities, and his mastery of the subject matter is a secondary consideration. The results are predictable.

  14. RSG – agreed; and, don’t get me started on football and education. From this professor’s perspective, Division I football and basketball ought to be eliminated.

    Tom S – I think that although your points are well-taken, they are probably too subtle for the intent of the questions and the level of understanding of the target audience.

  15. Isn’t it fair that alternative sports like Calvinball get equal time? After all, the rules in sports are arbitrary – a lowest score in golf or track wins, why not in basketball and football? Let the kids decide.