Creationist Wisdom #421: Other Worlds

Today’s letter appears in The Tribune of Elkin, North Carolina (population 4,001). The title is The Preacher’s Corner.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), but in this case the letter-writer is a preacher, “Evangelist Chris Caudill.” We can’t find any information about his church, but there’s a guy with the same name in that town who owns a construction company. It’s a small town, so maybe the rev is a contractor during the week. Here are a few excerpts from the rev’s letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Okay, here we go:

Are there other “habitable” planets in the universe?

Great question! We’ve posted quite a few times on discoveries of extra-solar planets, most recently First Earth-like Extra-Solar Planet Found. What does the rev have to tell us? First he explains:

By “habitable”, I mean…”move in ready”…for any living creature or being that exists on planet earth. Our space programs continue the search, in hopes they can find one to prove that evolution occurs.

Hey rev — we already know evolution occurs, so that can’t be the main reason for the search. But we won’t quibble. Let’s read on:

Their logic is, if evolution were true, then they should see life on other planets, because evolution would have occurred there too (This, by the way, is where the concept of space aliens comes from).

Ah, so that’s where the idea of space aliens come from. The rev continues:

But their search has a twofold purpose. They also want to find another planet, because they feel like they need to know there’s another planet people can move to, in order to preserve the human race.

That’s a very long-range purpose. For the present, we think the purpose is simple curiosity. Anyway, here’s more:

But what does the Bible say? We find in the first 13 verses of Genesis chapter one, how that God spent 3 days in the creation of planet earth. Why did He spend so much time on earth? Let’s read what God said in another place in Scripture, in order to get an answer to this question…

No, we’ll skip that and move along:

So what is the purpose for all those celestials in the universe? Let’s look at the reason which God gave us in His Word…

We’re all curious about the divine purpose of those heavenly bodies. Here’s the scriptural answer provided by the rev:

Genesis 1:14-15 KJV

[14] And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
[15] And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

That seems clear enough. What does the rev think?

Do we see any indication of “habitation”? Absolutely not. They were created “for” the benefit of planet earth. So, since God did not spend 3 days on any other planet as he did with earth, but instead created everything else in the universe in just one day, then we can safely assume that the earth is the only “habitable” planet that exists in the entire universe.

The logic is undeniable! Another excerpt:

Therefore, we could save a ton of money in the space programs, if they would just simply believe the Scriptures. They have been searching for a very long time, and have researched multitudes of planets in the universe, and their conclusion remains the same…there are no known “habitable” planets in the universe. Every now and then, they will announce that they have discovered another “planet earth”, only to recant their claim later upon further investigation.

Stupid scientists! And now we come to the end of the rev’s letter:

My friend, God’s Word can be trusted.

Someone get word to NASA, and the SETI crowd too. They’re all wasting their time.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #421: Other Worlds

  1. The rev solemnly preaches: “My friend, God’s Word can be trusted.”

    Yes indeedy do. The rev knows this cause he gets his knowledge from a book that teaches us that snakes talk, rabbits chew their cud, the sun orbits our flat earth . . .

  2. Phoenician in a time of Romans

    So, since God did not spend 3 days on any other planet as he did with earth, but instead created everything else in the universe in just one day, then we can safely assume that the earth is the only “habitable” planet that exists in the entire universe.

    I’m so glad God is limited in where He can be and can only do one thing at a time. Thank you for telling us He is not omnipotent and not omnipresent, Mr Preacherman.

  3. Wow! Who knew that the whole purpose of the space program was to find habitable planets! I’m sure the rev would be pleased to know that we spend more money on religious pursuits worldwide than we spend on astronomy (and probably the entire space program as well).

  4. Sure, the Bible doesn’t mention other habitable planets, but it also doesn’t say a thing about three of our habitable continents, either. But we have an Elkin, North Carolina all the same.

  5. Holding the Line in Florida

    Definitely a Cat 5 WTF I hope the comments are just as good!

  6. “By “habitable”, I mean…”move in ready”…”
    Actually every planet is habitable, and NO planet even one like earth is ”move in ready”… as we would have to build houses, encampments, protections from the unknown and the more like earth then the more caution would have to be used. Take 20 NewYorkers that know nothing of the Amazon and drop them into the middle of an uninhabited area and see how long it takes for the “habitable”,…”move in ready”…place to kill them all off. There aint no such thing as “habitable”,…”move in ready”…
    The only thing stopping us from inhabiting this solar system is the lack of strong motivation.(meaning money & power to be had).

  7. Let me see if I understand the good preacher. The sky fairy invented the entire bloody universe — the one that has some 2x10e11 stars per galaxy and about 1 or 2x10e11 galaxies. It sure doesn’t take much imagination to think there might just be some kind of life elsewhere. I don’t think the rev knows what he’s talking about!

  8. This is a gem. My favourite creacrapper David Rives should hire this guy to be his assistent astronomer. CC absolutely qualifies.

  9. mnbo, I quite agree … .CC is perfect! Clueless and Confident!

    To our beloved Curmudgeon: Please, please keep these letters coming!!
    Gems like this one are precious insights into the empty, but twisted creationist mind. I think Olivia should run off with you if only because of your true grit in wading through these letters and sharing them with us!

  10. waldteufel takes temporary leave of his senses to declare

    I think Olivia should run off with you if only because of your true grit in wading through these letters and sharing them with us!

    Shame! What has Olivia ever done to harm you?! Can you imagine the unspeakably vile distortions that “wading through these letters” must have wrought on our Curmudgeon–and how unfit he has been thereby rendered for human company?

    Olivia herself has been in a state of catatonic shock since reading your outrageous suggestion, clinging to me like a limpet and whimpering piteously, “Don’t let them take me to him! Do it to Julia!”

  11. Megalonyx, having long ago slipped the bonds of rationality, invokes the image of Room 101. This is understandable. Even with his severely diminished capacity, his hallucinations are becoming increasingly vivid. Dimly, he senses that he is drawing ever closer to being permanently confined to Bethlem Royal Hospital (commonly known as Bedlam).

  12. I wonder if the reverend realizes that he just opened up his religion to falsifiability by declaring that another life-bearing world can’t exist if his religion is true.