Creationist Wisdom #423: Evolution is Folly

Today’s second letter appears in the Tideland News, which seems to be part of the Carteret County News-Times of Morehead City, North Carolina. The title is Heading toward God’s judgement.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we’ll just use the letter-writer’s first name, which is Manuel. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Too many in America have said, “There is no God.” One of the many reasons Americans have reached such a low point of unbelief is because they were brought up in school systems which teach man’s false idea that every living being started from a single cell and evolved into millions, or even billions, of species, including humans. Some have theorized humans evolved from ape-like beings.

Manuel seems to have a firm grip on the situation. He explains why such a belief is absurd:

But how a person, who is composed of 200 or 300 trillion highly specialized interrelated cells, can believe that it all started from a single cell should be beyond belief. Actually, the cell theory of evolution only proves man’s folly.

Folly indeed! Let’s read on:

First, man totally dismissed God’s legitimate claims that he, God, created heaven and earth and everything in them including the first man, Adam. Second, man refused to believe the documented biblical history of God dealing with mankind on Earth, where God again and again demonstrated and proved his awesome supernatural powers.

The history is documented. Supernatural powers have been “demonstrated and proved.” Manuel then provides proof, but you may not be ready to receive it. Oh? You want his proof? Are you sure? Okay, keep reading — but we fear that You can’t handle the truth! Here it comes:

Among these demonstrations of power were turning the rivers and waters in Egypt into blood, parting the Red Sea while millions of Israelites crossed on dry ground, and then drowning the very large pursuing Egyptian Army. After that God proved himself again and again by providing food and water for 40 years while His chosen people wandered in the desert.

So there! Whatdaya say now? Manuel continues:

This world would be a much better place if people believed in the Living God and followed his just commandments. We would love each other like the brothers and sisters that we are, because we are all His children.

That was lovely — absolutely lovely! [*Curmudgeon wipes a tear from his eye*] Here’s more:

God gets no pleasure in his children going to hell.

Of course not. One more excerpt:

America must return to God.

So there you are. Heed Manuel’s words. Abandon your foolish science. Or else!

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #423: Evolution is Folly

  1. Why does the Big Guy get credit for the whole saving his people while they wandered for 40 years thing?

    “Oh, gee. Thanks, man. This bread and water is awesome,” saideth Moses. “But you know what I could go for? Maybe a couple roadsigns? ‘This way to Canaan’ or ‘Next Service 75 miles’ would be excellent. I mean, thou is omnipotent, right?”

    Numbers 3: 1-7. (KJV)

  2. The writer bases his opinions on the musty old anonymously written book of the Hebrew tribe.

    I prefer to believe in the testament of Harry Potter. Unlike the bible, there is clear evidence that portions of that book are true, as attested by the Platform 9 3/4 sign in Kings Cross station, which I have personally seen, and numerous other locations in London which are exactly as described in that holy book. That is certainly more evidence for the testament of Harry Potter than there is for anything in the bible.

    Also, the testament of Harry Potter has moral teachings, a description of the afterlife, a devil like creature opposed by a benevolent old man with a long white beard, and numerous miracles of all descriptions. It’s chosen people are divided into tribes, with their respective patriarchs, and there is some history and genealogy mentioned, although not in the detail that the bible seems to view as necessary for mankind to know.

    The letter writer has his book, I have mine. So there.

    (An equal case could be made for those who believe in the saga of Middle Earth as revealed to J.R.R. Tolkien, another greatly esteemed book of wisdom with a large following.)

  3. Charles Deetz ;)

    @Ed, I prefer to believe in the the stories of Winnie the Pooh, bonus no devilish character to worry about.

  4. Is it my imagination or are Creationists more active lately? I seem to rember how this site had a spell of news droughts.

  5. SC: You spell his name “Manuel” initially; but thereafter as “Manual”.

    Apart from that, why would he think we must be religious in order to love one another? “Can’t we all just get along?”

  6. Aaarrrgh! Please [edited out].

  7. Second, man refused to believe the documented biblical history of God dealing with mankind on Earth, where God again and again demonstrated and proved his awesome supernatural powers.

    Yes, it was all precisely documented in the bible by the writers who were actually present when the events occurred, unlike scientists who were not there at the big bang.

    I ran across a humerous little book, “How to Create a Flawless Universe in Just Eight Days” by Godfather Publications. It’s all there, in far greater depth and detail than the bible.

  8. retiredsciguy says:

    SC: You spell his name “Manuel” initially; but thereafter as “Manual”.

    Aaaargh!! I must have been blinded by the truth. It’s fixed now.

  9. abeastwood

    Don’t you think it is odd Manuel, how the Egyptians, who were pretty good at keeping records, never noticed that a “very large” army of theirs got drowned? Or that blood got spattered all over the place and messed up their boats in the rivers. As for millions of Israelites crossing on dry ground, there are millions now, but probably not more than 10,000 or so at the time of the alleged flight from Egypt (which, by the way, is another thing the Egyptians failed to notice!). And apparently neither they nor the sky fairy noticed that, had the Israelites gone a few hundred miles north, they could have walked on dry land without any drama: the Suez canal didn’t get built until a number of thousand years later. Oh, and the Egyptions, who patroled the Sinai desert fairly regularly never noticed the escaped Israelites. Be sure to get back after you’ve studied some real history.

  10. “Whatdaya say now?”
    What I do say now is that Manuel’s god is a lousy travel guide. Alexander the Great made his army walk some more miles in just 10 years.

    “This world would be a much better place …”
    Like Europe in the Middle Ages, Manuel means?

  11. http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn25471-spark-of-life-metabolism-appears-in-lab-without-cells.html

    Spark of life: Metabolism appears in lab without cells – New …
    http://www.newscientist.com/…/dn25471-spark-of-life-metabolis…‎
    New Scientist
    6 days ago – Metabolic processes that underpin life on Earth have arisen spontaneously outside of cells. The serendipitous finding that metabolism –

  12. For one cell to become a human being isn’t unusual at all. That’s how all of us began our lives – as a single cell in a uterus.

  13. @Mary L
    It is surprising how often it is that a complaint about evolution is (at least as sound when) one about reproduction.
    Try it, next time you hear one: substitute evolution with reproduction.

  14. lanceleuven

    I’m sorry Curmudgeon, but I think you’re unfairly mocking Manuel here. He quite rightly says “This world would be a much better place if people believed in the Living God and followed his just commandments. We would love each other like the brothers and sisters that we are, because we are all His children.” And as we all know, until evolution came along everybody lived together happily and there was no crime or wickedness…oh, hold on a second…

  15. @abeastwood: What?! How can you doubt that the Nile turned to blood and that the Red Sea parted?! Didn’t you see the movie?! You could see that these things happened with your own eyes!

  16. Hopefully, no reader here would think that I was serious while writing the previous post.

  17. abeastwood

    I, for one, was pretty sure your comment was facetious.

  18. Darn, retiredsciguy, you had me convinced.

  19. Yeah — I figured the regulars here would recognize my smart-assedness and know I had tongue firmly in cheek. However, when all you see is the printed word with no inflection, no facial expression, and no actual knowledge of the person, well… you never know for sure how your writing will be interpreted, especially by newer readers here.

    Seriously, though, think of how many millions of people have “gotten their religion” from Cecil B. DeMille. I doubt that our letter-writer Manuel would have even known of the “parting of the seas” passage in the Bible if it hadn’t been featured in DeMille’s “The Ten Commandments”.