What About Kelly Kohls?

Everyone keeps asking us the same question: Hey, what about the Kelly Kohls race for the Ohio Senate?

You remember that one — we wrote about it a month ago: Kathy Martin and Kelly Kohls — They’re Back! Kelly is the creationist nutritionist who was president of the School Board of Springboro (a suburb of Dayton, Ohio). She was also head of the local tea party organization.

She retired as head of the school board — where she generated creationist chaos. We wrote about her a few times last year, for example: Springboro School Board: Once More into the Ark. After announcing her retirement, she hinted that she was ready to hold higher office. Then she entered the Republican primary in the 7th District to challenge incumbent state Senator Shannon Jones. The primary election was on 06 May.

For some reason, the matter slipped our mind until now, when we decided to find out what happened. This article is from a week ago in the Dayton Daily News of Dayton, Ohio. It’s dated 06 May: Boehner, FitzGerald win; Dayton passes income tax.

It’s about a bunch of things that don’t interest us, but some of you may not be aware that “With nearly 100% of the vote in, Speaker of the House John Boehner won more than 71% of the votes in his Republican primary.”

Also, “With 100% of the vote in, Dayton income tax issue wins nearly 70% of vote. Turnout was low, only 10% of voters.” How wonderful for the citizens of Dayton!

But what about Kelly Kohls? Skimming through the article, we finally arrive at this:

8:58 p.m.: State Sen. Shannon Jones is winning with 68% of the vote over former Springboro School board member Kelly Kohls in her re-election bid in the Warren County Senate district.

The newspaper doesn’t give the final tally, but it doesn’t matter. It appears that the creationist nutritionist lost, and more than two-thirds of the vote went to her opponent. She must be stunned that Noah’s Ark wasn’t a winning issue.

It’s a pity, really. Our blog needs people like Kelly in public office. Ah well, perhaps she’ll return to the school board and continue her creationist efforts there. It’s good to be a little fish in a little pond.

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3 responses to “What About Kelly Kohls?

  1. Wow, that is a total shame… that only 2/3 went to her opponent… sigh

  2. waldteufel

    Sadly, Ms. Kohls will disappear from the screens of our drool-o-trons, leaving us without her wit and wisdom. But to my friends here I say “take heart!” Don’t forget, Hambo’s Ark Park is looming, and my spies tell me that the creationist gynecologist is going to continue hammering on Cosmos with her usual mastery of astrophysics, astronomy, geology, biology, paleontology, naval gazing, and speculum polishing.

  3. Our Curmudgeon laments—

    “It’s a pity, really. Our blog needs people like Kelly in public office.”

    But why!? I’d’ve thought with the prodigious volumes of cretinist and IDiotological tosh being churned out daily, as well as the mind-warping number of its devotees at various levels of the US government, there’d be no shortage of representative mirth-inducing material to choose from – as amply demonstrated by the prolific postings on this blog.