AIG: Irony Meter Hazard Ahead

Our brain is still swirling from something we saw at the website of Answers in Genesis (ol’ Hambo’s online ministry). They just posted this: Answers in Genesis Website to Undergo Rapid “Evolution”.

They’re trying to be cute with that title. Their drooling fans are rolling on the floor, laughing at the thought of any evolution at AIG. But they have no idea how funny their article really is. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Sometime tomorrow the Answers in Genesis website will undergo rapid “evolution”! Actually, much intelligent design over a few years has now enabled us to release our all-new, fully redesigned AiG website Saturday, May 17. Check it out on Saturday and take it for a “test-drive.”

It’s evolution. No, it’s intelligent design! Get it?

All over Appalachia, creationists named Billy Bob and Billy Ray and Bubba are saying: “Hey, yeah — I get it now! Golly, Martha — they had me goin’ there for a minute! [*Slap knee*] Har-de-har-har! [* Wheeze*] That was funny!

What a keen sense of humor those AIG folks have! Are you enjoying the joke, dear reader? You shouldn’t — not yet. Their joke, like their creation science, is tragic. Actually, the funny part is coming next. They tell us:

According to Wikipedia, “Responsive web design (RWD) is a web design approach aimed at crafting sites to provide an optimal viewing experience …

[Blah, blah, blah]

This new infrastructure and total redesign puts the new AiG website at the cutting edge of web technology. Very few Christian websites have implemented such technology. We think you will be amazed at all the changes. It’s like trading in your 20-year-old car for a Rolls Royce!

That’s it. The “evolved” website will appear tomorrow. So what’s the joke? The joke is this: AIG insists that they and everyone else should have the most primitive concept of the universe imaginable. They’re proud that they reject everything learned in the past 3,000 years, since Genesis was written. But while they wallow in their self-imposed ignorance, they eagerly embrace the latest trend in web design, and they’re bragging about it.

But that’s not all. This “cutting edge” website evolution is going on at the same time they’re about to build an “historically authentic” replica of Noah’s Ark. Come on, this stuff is funny!

So take your Curmudgeon’s advice: Unplug your irony meter for the weekend. Those things are delicate, and there’s no way they’ll survive the “evolution” at AIG.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “AIG: Irony Meter Hazard Ahead

  1. Mark Germano

    Motto recommendation:

    “AIG, now with 75% more god-bothering.”

  2. The same old crap in a nice new wrapper; It still smells like 5-day old fish.

  3. They are always about to build that replica. How much do they actually have to spend and how much do they need?

  4. I tried to access AIG to see the glorious new design, but I only got a messange that “our site is undergoing maintenance. Thank you for your patience.” After all that intelligent design to further the evolution of AIG, could they not upload it fairly instantly?

  5. Come to think of it, in nature organisms don’t temporarily shut down as they evolve. Any shut-downs tend to become permanent, as in “natural selection didn’t select you”.

  6. Still down… I tingle in anticipation.

  7. @hnohf
    There should be an archive where posts like this can have the permanent recognition that they deserve.

  8. Mark Germano

    It’s up. They’ve optimized it for mobile devices. For when you’re jonesing for Hambo while you’re out and about…

  9. AIG’s new site is more a product of Survival of the Fittest than of Natural Selection.
    Btw, did you know that Ken Ham is plural?

    (Yeah, I know this is not charitable, I just couldn’t resist)

  10. As a buddy once said about something similar, “My irony meter just did a victory lap, before exploding.”
    Just took a look at the new site, which is now online. The really funny part is that the new site uses an encrypted link (https). And yet the underlying certificate does not provide ownership information. Okay. This is obscure. Here’s the problem. One of the legs of the “security triangle” is authentication (the other two are confidentiality and integrity). Part of that authentication when going to an encrypted site is knowing that you’re at the site of whomever it claims to be (and not some hijacked connection). The problem here is that their connection (and the underlying certificate) does not provide ownership information.
    Translation: Their site is rather well designed, but not totally “intelligently designed”.

  11. mnb0 wrote, regarding the following link: “Btw, did you know that Ken Ham is plural?”

    “By Ken Ham and Ken Ham”, indeed. Does this indicate that AIG scientists have successfully cloned their founder? Perhaps the main job of their creationist gynecologist was to take care of the surrogate mother during the pregnancy producing the Ham clone, though in spare moments they had her writing some articles as well? Is this intended as the ultimate, crushing proof that finally demolishes all godless notions of abiogenesis? There you see, life only comes from life, and Ham only comes from Ham!

  12. Maybe it’s Ken Ham the astronaut!! 🙂

  13. waldteufel

    If your constitution is strong, and you want a belly laugh . . . . go to the new AiG site, click on “Answers”, and watch the videos of Jason Lisle and Andrew Snelling make absolute drooling idiots of themselves pontificating about things they should know about, but either really don’t know anything or are bald faced liars for Jesus. I can’t decide if they are really that stupid, or just plain mendacious. Who knows? Maybe both stupid and mendacious.

  14. @mnbo: “Btw, did you know that Ken Ham is plural?”
    @hnohf: “By Ken Ham and Ken Ham”, indeed. ”

    Perhaps he has a brother named Ken (you know — like “My other brother Darryl”).

  15. hnohf asks

    “By Ken Ham and Ken Ham”, indeed. Does this indicate that AIG scientists have successfully cloned their founder?

    No–but it is a misprint for “By Ken Ham and Ken Ham and Ken Ham”, on the principle of the Trinity, e.g. “Ken the Liar, Ken the Dunce, and Ken the Wholly Gross.”

  16. It’s evolution. No, it’s intelligent design! Get it?

    Yes, but does anyone else? AiG hates ID as much as they hate evolution. They may devote 99% of their whining to evolution, but that’s only because it’s an easier target for them. The same goes for IDers and “atheism.” The devote most of their whining to the easy target, but their real venom is reserved for theistic evolution.