Judge John E. Jones Is Back in the News

The judge who famously ruled against intelligent design in Kitzmiller v. Dover Area School District, is back in the news today. In the Washington Post we read Federal Judge strikes down Pennsylvania ban on same-sex marriage. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Judicial victories for gay marriage are coming almost daily now. In a decision breaking new doctrinal ground, Pennsylvania District Court Judge John E. Jones today struck down the sate’s [sic] ban on same-sex marriages. In the decision, Whitehead v. Wolf, Judge Jones held that the ban violated both the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses, but in ways that other recent district courts have not ruled.


Unlike most other district courts recently, Judge Jones held that same-sex couples have a fundamental right to marry. He held that the Pennsylvania couples were not seeking a “new” right but only participation in an old one, the right to marry.

Here’s a link to the opinion: DEB WHITEWOOD, et al. vs. MICHAEL WOLF. We haven’t read it. It’s not likely that we will. But we note that the Washington Post seems to have messed up the plaintiff’s name.

Your Curmudgeon has no interest in gay marriage. We’re neither for nor against it, and we’re not informed enough to discuss it. Other then school yard jokes from long ago, we know nothing about the subject — except that it’s always in the news — but like basketball scores, we pay no attention. It’s not likely that we’re ever going to study the subject, so it has been and will probably remain a non-topic at this humble blog.

Why then are we posting this news? Because it involves Judge Jones, who is probably as hated by the Discoveroids as Charles Darwin himself. It’s going to be interesting to see what they have to say — and they will say something. This will be irresistible to them. We invite your speculations about how they’ll handle the subject.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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36 responses to “Judge John E. Jones Is Back in the News

  1. Alabama, Idaho, Texas, Oklahoma… who’d a thunk it?

    Florida and Wisconsin next.

    OK, we liberals won this one. Crushingly. Let’s not rest on our laurels but move on to something new.

  2. Why are you “not interested” in equality for all?

  3. In related news, Florida Republican state Representative Charles Van Zant says that the pro-evolution Common Core curriculum for public schools will “attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can.”


    My son’s curriculum must be Common Core because his homework involves “number lines.” I told him, son, it’s just not good enough for you to be “as gay as you can possibly be.” You’re competing against Asians, and they excel at everything.

  4. Curm, please fixy my linky.

    [*Voice from above*] It is done!

  5. waldteufel

    Once again, Judge Jones comes down on the side of rationality. If two people love each other and want to commit to a life together, there is no sane, rational reason for society to stand in their way. Indeed, society should applaud them and encourage them.

    Let the various Christian hate groups stew in their own juices while the rest of us move on.

  6. @Chris P: I think he is trying to maintain neutrality in the same way Bill Nye did when talking about evolution (refusing to say it discredited Christianity) in order to make his specific message more palatable to more than his own choir.

  7. Ceteris Paribus

    My pastor Pat Robertson, and I, just want you all to know that when a hurricane smites the state of Pennsylvania this summer it will NOT be because of that “global warming” myth.

  8. Hats off to Judge Jones for laying out clearly that the right of gays to marry their partners is subsumed under the existing right to marry.

    What do the Discorrhoids really have on the question of gay marriage? An anthology of mostly magnificent literature drawn from disparate chronicles, seasoned with myth and fairy tale, and constituted by an act of ballot several centuries after the alleged events supposedly took place. Besides irrational feelings of personal revulsion and an irrepressible urge to dictate how others must live their lives, that book is all the Discorrhoids really have.

    So the only interesting question left to ask is what sort of thalidomide rabbit they’ll pull out of their hat to try and make their commentary look vaguely rational and informed.

  9. I’m sure the DI will come up with some way that Judge Jones is again infringing on our rights to live a happy life. I mean he is forcing all Pennsylvanians to get gay married, right?

    Last night, I went to Subway with the family. The person in front of me ordered a six inch steak and cheese with a water. I yelled at him because he was infringing on my right to order a foot long meatball sub with a Coca~Cola.

  10. I’d love for Klingleberry to write a post at ENVy explaining how opposition to gay marriage follows from the Intelligent Design hypothesis. And then say ID is not religion. Oh noo.

  11. Diogenes says: “I’d love for Klingleberry to write a post at ENVy explaining how opposition to gay marriage follows from the Intelligent Design hypothesis.”

    He gets all the dirty jobs, so it will probably be his assignment. They can’t ignore the issue because they know that most of their fan base — and probably their generous patrons too — are wildly opposed to gay marriage. They’ll have to: (a) make it sound like Jones is the anti-Christ; and (b) make it sound like science. It’s a difficult task, but Kadiddlehopper can do it.

  12. It’s good to see the judge Jones in fine form, eloquent as always.

    “We are a better people than what these laws represent…”


  13. OT, but Dinesh “2016: Obama’s America” D’Souza is likely going to jail. Do any of you recall if he was an ID proponent?

    He was a serial diddler of blondofascists (Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, etc.) until he finally got caught with one in his hotel room. They were married… Just not to each other.

    This article will make your brain explode from the hypocrisy:


    Another Guardian of Traditional Values.

  14. Garnetstar

    Well, at least Judge Jones is used to morons slinging nastiness at him, and of being derided as an activist judge and an unelected tyrant. That’s not exactly what the Discoveroids will be saying, but many will. But I hope it doesn’t come to death threats and placing his family under guard again.

  15. Judge Jones is an ungodly heathen working for Satan. He’s going to burn in Hell forever if he doesn’t repent.

  16. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    This reminds me that one day soon I’m going to have to get my old desktop booting again or at least yank the HD so I can get to some old files. I have Dembski’s original Judge Jones .swf animation before he edited out the farting. Truly, to my mind, it was the highlight of Dembski’s career.

    If anyone from the Di is lurking, would you remind the good Dr. Dr. he still needs to cough up that bottle of single malt ? Thanks.

  17. @CSS, where’s the little smiley at the end of your comments so we all know it’s a poe? Try it like this.
    I agree with CSS, he’s a very serious fellow who knows his stuff!!!!! 🙂

  18. Creation Science Study: “Judge Jones is an ungodly heathen working for Satan. He’s going to burn in Hell forever if he doesn’t repent.”

    I was wondering if this was a Poe (fake fundamentalist), so I went to her blog, and it’s so over the top, I still can’t tell if it’s a real fundamentalist or an atheist trying to ridicule fundamentalists.

    Here is a snippet from her review of the Jim Henson movie “Labyrinth”:

    “[David] Bowie’s character abducts the baby for his heathen pleasures, probably like atheists that would abduct babies for eating, and the girl is forced to walk a maze to find her brother in 13 hours before he is turned into a demon. The girl befriends a demon by the name of Hogwarts, which the name refers to the witch craft academy from the evil Harry Potter books.”

    Books written decades after the film was shot…

    Boy, and I interrupted a perfectly good meal to read that. My marinated infant is all cold now.

  19. OT, but if anyone can read this and tell me if it’s real or a Poe, I would be grateful.

  20. Rikki, you should srly post the .swf file of Dembski’s fart animation. I’m being serial. Dembski himself said he was saving it for historical purposes, for when historians are writing about his great contributions to the history of defeating Darwinism.

  21. Poe. I googled “Jim Solouki” and found this: “Jim Soulouki” is an atheist blogger/satirist, affiliated with the parody site Landover Baptist Church.

    In one of his posts he says, “Did you know that Duane Gish was a Darwinist double agent working for the Devil?” That is actually very funny.

  22. @Diogenes, Based on the premise that CSS isn’t begging for money like Hambo, and that it is virtually impossible to be that [edited out], I have to assume it’s a poe.

  23. Paul S. says: ” Based on the premise that CSS isn’t begging for money like Hambo…I have to assume it’s a poe.”

    Your analysis is brilliant! A real creationist would shill for money.

    “Creation Science Study”, if you contributed to “Objective Ministries” (my favorite Poe site) then you are a genius, sir.

    However, if you want to be a more realistic-seeming creationist, you need to do two things:

    1. Ask for money. Don’t ask for it by saying, “Give us money.” Say something like Ken Ham would say, “Will you step out in faith with us?”, “Help us share God’s love”, etc., with a link to a Paypal account.

    2. The keep to being a persuasive Poe is to cite creationist moron authorities as if they’re great geniuses. Let them do your talking for you. You have to spike up your writing with passages copied and cited to real creationist morons, whom you portray as great geniuses. That way, no fundie can call you a Poe unless they acknowledge that creationist authorities really are talking swill.

  24. creativerealms

    Well Jones is already a RINO thank’s to the Dover case. He now has solidified that in the eyes of conservatives.

  25. @creativerealms: To suggest that a person is “Republican In Name Only” because they choose to think rationally is highly offensive. And get that [edited out] apostrophe out of “thank’s”. Thanks.

  26. creativerealms

    I was not saying it as my own personal opinion really. I was trying to be funny to be honest. Anyway I’m writing on a tablet with auto correct and that thanks was a mistake I did not know I made. Sorry about that.

  27. Jones is a conservative. He’s just proven that he’s not a reactionary theocrat.

  28. @creativerealms: Sorry; didn’t mean to be so grouchy. Stray apostrophes drive me nut’s.

  29. Mark – I found the same thing, but a couple of comments down, Mr Jim denies it. I think that the blog information is way too sophisticated for a true YEC fundamentalist, and thus will go with Poe.

  30. SC: “and they will say something.”

    Hearing the news on the radio made me, for the first time ever, check the “Conservapedia” entry on the judge, just for a good “train wreck” laugh. While the entry does not yet include this latest decision, it nevertheless portrays him as the worst of all evils. Schlafly and company even had to hold their noses and cite a Discoveroid quote mine of the judge!

  31. Yeah, he does the blatant fundie thing, but there are some subtle jokes, too.

    He called Miley Cyrus one of the guys from One Direction, which is amazing. I’m going to follow him for a while.

  32. OK OK, since we’re all in on the joke, let’s not let on that we know. Let’s go onto his blog and express sputtering rage at how he has trounced Darwin with his cuttin’ edge evidence for Intelligent Design.

  33. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik


    OMG That’s hillarious.

    *sigh* Sadly, I don’t have a machine at the moment that I can directly plug a SATA drive into. Gonna have to pick up an enclosure when I can.

  34. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    Oh Oh ! That reminds me. You can still play Panda-monium! at UncommonDescent ! The animated thumbing of the nose thumbed at Panda’s Thumb ! *

    Control the “DembskiDozer” and blast those Pandas straight to hell !
    (which for some reason is labeled the “Discovery Institute ThinkTank” har-har-har)

    Watch the Pandas zip, zoom, and spin utilizing their butt rockets !

    Listen as the Pandas recite their dogma before getting blasted into crispy bits of black-hearted Darwinian chunks of carbon !

    (* yeah, I don’t like giving them clicks either but it’s hilarious to see a grown man’s full-on childish pout.)

  35. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    Oh wait … I just realized you don’t control the DembskiDozer … you play as DembskiDozer battling in your “Discovery ThinkTank”… LMAO.

    Play as Brave Sir Robin DembskiDozer as he runs away charges forward from Dover into battle against those evil Pandas !

    Dear Sweet Jesus, save me from your followers.