Rejoice — Our Wisdom Will Survive The End

Are you worried about the future of space flight? Do you ever wonder if, when Neil Armstrong died, he was thinking that our glory days were behind us? Do you lie awake at night, wondering what would happen if some astronomical catastrophe struck the Earth and we were all wiped out? Well, dear reader, you can put your worries behind you. The future is assured!

We present to you some excerpts from Taking the Torah to the MOON: Sacred Jewish scroll could hitch ride on Google spacecraft to preserve Earth’s culture in event of an apocalypse, which appears in London’s Daily Mail. The bold font was added by us:

On Christmas Eve in 1968 Nasa provoked outrage among atheists when the Apollo 8 astronauts read from the Book of Genesis as they orbited the moon. So if any people of a similar disposition are reading, look away now – a team based in Israel are planning to send the Torah to the moon.

The sacred Jewish scroll would be sent along with other iconic Earth artefacts as part of the Google Lunar XPrize, a competition amongst private companies to send vehicles to the moon, with the goal of maintaining Earth’s culture in the event of an apocalypse.

Wowie — Earth’s culture will be preserved! Then we’re told:

The project is known as Torah on the Moon and is based in Tel Aviv. The team are hoping to send a handwritten Jewish scroll, the Sefer Torah, to the lunar surface reports New Scientist [Earth’s backup: Sending religious texts to the moon], and later the Vedas (Hindu scriptures) and the I-Ching (an ancient Chinese philosophical work). They would each be transported in capsules that would enable them to survive on the moon for more than 10,000 years.

Let’s think for a moment … the Torah, the Vedas, and the I-Ching … yup, that pretty much covers all of Earth’s culture. Oh, wait — they won’t be including the collected writings of the Discoveroids. Well, payload is limited, so some some difficult decisions have to be made, and a few of humanity’s works must be left behind. Let’s read on:

‘This is an incredible, beautiful project,’ said group founder Paul Aouizerate. ‘These three texts are among Earth’s most ancient documents, created over 3,000 years ago. ‘They are significant to billions of people.’

To fund the mission Aouizerate and his team are hoping to raise up to £12.1m ($20.5m) by having scribes write each of the 304,805 characters contained in the Torah. These writers would be funded by believers. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure a significant part of Earth’s culture would remain on the moon far into the future.

We’ve left out a lot of the article, and we’re certain you’ll want to click over there to read it all. We must confess that this news brings tears to your Curmudgeon’s usually cold, expressionless eyes. The scope and grandeur of the project overwhelms us. When it’s completed, if something happens and we cease to exist, the aliens will grieve over what a loss the universe has suffered by our demise — but our wisdom will be preserved!

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Rejoice — Our Wisdom Will Survive The End

  1. So, what’s the point? Without a Rosetta Stone to help any future ETs translate it into a language they know, it would be no more than a bunch of scribbles that some on Earth thought had deep meaning.

    More meaningful would be a collection of art and photographs that could be understood by any who would find it.

  2. “the goal is to ensure a significant part of Earth’s culture”
    Meh. If they don’t send an mp3 or mp4 file with Deep Purple’s Child in Time from Made in Japan that part can’t be significant. Without that song no Stairway to Heaven, no One, no November Rain to mention a few. And CiT is still superior.

  3. No Epic of Gilgamesh? No Illiad, no Odyssey?

    Not even a DVD of Debbie Does Dallas?

  4. retiredsciguy, I read a fabulous short story where a race of aliens found Earth’s moon, where someone had placed a depository of art and photos as you suggested – and they couldn’t see them because they’re eyesight was in as limited a spectrum of light as ours, just a different part of the spectrum.

    It is a nice idea, though.

  5. Just wait, some Christian organization, not wanting to be left our, will fund raise to send a New Testament to the moon, and maybe plant a cross on it. Then it will be a race to put a Koran there, then a Book of Mormon, then….

  6. Wouldn’t the prudent approach require moving all copies of all religious documents to another planet or moon? Or as an alternate, take a page from the Voyager project and send them all right out of the solar system.

  7. Dean suggests: “Wouldn’t the prudent approach require moving all copies of all religious documents to another planet or moon?”

    All? Perhaps so. But I think the most important thing to preserve is creation science. Therefore, we should figure out a way to send Hambo and his whole operation to the Moon.

  8. Answers from Mars sounds good to me. Could the AiG be convinced their best interests where served by volunteering to settle Mars? A noble cause no less.

  9. Our Curmudgeon suggests

    we should figure out a way to send Hambo and his whole operation to the Moon.

    Well, that would be better use for the millions raised for his replica non-functioning Ark–but I still feel it is too expensive.

    Better: there should be built, for the benefit of Creationists, a facility such as the clever Dutch have built for Alzheimer sufferers: see The village where people have dementia – and fun.

    Creationists already dwell in a delusional alternative reality, so why not build them a genuinely privileged planet where they can live out their fantasies without troubling the rest of us?

  10. Megalonyx laments: “Not even a DVD of Debbie Does Dallas?”

    Olivia says that if an asteroid destroys the Earth, she thinks that the universe will be a better place. The elimination of your existence would be well worth the loss of everything else.

  11. SC says:

    Therefore, we should figure out a way to send Hambo and his whole operation to the Moon.

    No. I like the Moon too much to do that to it. It’s peaceful and innocent. Just wrong.
    SC also says:

    The elimination of your existence would be well worth the loss of everything else.

    Aaaaaaand… it’s started for the Memorial Day weekend. (grabs popcorn).

  12. Curmy & Megs — Olivia just sent me an email… says you guys are really creeping her out. She suggests you change your fantasy desires to Miss Olive Oyl instead, since you’re already sounding like Popeye & Bluto.

  13. @Pope RSG: (long, slow, loud clapping!)

  14. @Gary: Hey, I’m just reporting what she told me. Give her all that applause.