“Duck Dynasty” Star Thrills GOP Leadership

The Drool-o-tron™ alerted us to this one with its all-too familiar blaring sirens and flashing lights. It’s in the New Orleans Times-Picayune. This is the headline: ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson to GOP: ‘Get Godly’, and here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Phil Robertson stood out at the Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans. Maybe it was his thick, white beard – a trademark of the family he leads on the reality television show “Duck Dynasty.” Or maybe it was the fact he was tapped to speak at a political gathering, though he is not a political candidate or the head of a conservative coalition.

Your Curmudgeon has never seen the show, so this news story is all we have to go on. We’re told:

Regardless, Robertson’s remarks stood out on their own. He called for re-evaluating the current view of separation of church and state, said that the discovery of DNA had disproven the idea of evolution, and told the GOP to give up a debate over the Affordable Care Act – as any health care measure denies a basic truth: “Every last one of you are going 6 feet deep.”

Are we reading that right? Does the man think health care — regardless of who provides it — is all a waste of time? We’ve heard that the “Duck Dynasty” stars are a bit odd, but … well, let’s read on:

Robertson’s central rallying cry urged the GOP to more closely ally with Christian values – an idea he said was an intention of the founding fathers. Drawing on quotes from James Madison, Noah Webster, John Adams and George Washington that he said described values ascribed by the Bible as a basis for education and government measures, Robertson encouraged the GOP to announce itself as the party tied to Christianity.

We’re not sure about Noah Webster, but we’re quite confident that the others didn’t think the bible was the basis for government measures. It was Madison who pushed Jefferson’s Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom through the state legislature. Does this Robertson guy know anything? Anything at all? We’ll find out as we continue:

“You want to turn the Republican Party around? Get Godly,” he told the audience, rousing them to huge applause. “Separation of church and state? I’m telling you right here what the founding fathers said. Does it sound to you like separating God almighty from the United States of America?”

He’s a theocratic loon — see Is America a “Christian Nation”? Here’s his full quote on Obamacare:

“Why all this debate over Obamacare?” he asked. “Here’s a newsflash: Obamacare is not going to keep you from the grave. Every last one of you are going 6 feet deep. And so am I. And Obamacare is not going to keep you out of the grave.”

At least it’s an original argument. Moving along, we get to the creationism:

In his remarks on the value of a religious education, Robertson said his belief that God created life and the universe has been proven by the discovery of DNA. “Our college professors told me we crawled out of the ocean. I’ve heard that bunk,” Robertson said. “They didn’t even know what DNA was then. You see, once they found out about DNA, though, they were like, ‘Oh, whoops.'”

Yeah, DNA is a real setback for evolution. Another excerpt:

“I don’t think Charles Darwin, if he had known about DNA, he would have ever said they would have crawled out of ocean in Australia.” Robertson said that after the discovery of DNA, “Half of our scientists right there jumped ship, said Darwin was wrong. And the other half buried their heads in the sand.”

The article goes on and on, as he hit several other hot-button issues, but we won’t bother with those. When he was done, we’re told that he received “a long-standing ovation” from the Republican Leadership Conference. This is very creepy indeed.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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21 responses to ““Duck Dynasty” Star Thrills GOP Leadership

  1. anevilmeme

    Dumber than a houseplant and willfully ignorant, what you need to be a reality tv icon.

  2. “Our college professors told me we crawled out of the ocean. I’ve heard that bunk,”

    I was startled to read that he actually knew any college professors, much less went to college himself. However, it turns out he went to Louisiana Tech, and earned a Phys Ed degree, then later a Masters in Education. It’s not science, but I’m astounded he has any education at all. He must have suffered a lot of concussions in his football years.

  3. I have never seen the television show and do not plan to. Why did the Republicans invite this idiot to speak to them and why did they give a standing ovation to the abject stupidity he uttered? I really do not like the Democratic Party but I will have no choice but to support it as long as the Republicans continue to fail to show even the slightest semblance of sanity.

  4. If Robertson’s ratings stay viable long enough, he could be the next Vice President. He appeals to the right crowd and could be easily marginalized once the election is over. Of course the G.O.P. would have to actually win an election for that to occur.

  5. “Robertson’s central rallying cry urged the GOP to more closely ally with Christian values, … Robertson encouraged the GOP to announce itself as the party tied to Christianity.”

    Ah, eliminating any alms for the poor, cut food stamps, cut unemployment aid, cut public education, cut wages and pay an absolute minimum, cut/gut healthcare, and of course cut taxes for rich folks, the remainder of us will make up the difference. That’s what he/they mean by the christian way, even jesus said so, and so did ayn rand.

    Maybe the “professor” he’s referring to is the self-made historian david barton.

    “Robertson said that after the discovery of DNA, “Half of our scientists right there jumped ship, said Darwin was wrong. And the other half buried their heads in the sand.”

    Interesting numerical figures he’s come up with. Pulled ’em out of the same place as the rest of his comments. Truely pathetic.

  6. Charles Deetz ;)

    Why not give up on healthcare? They don’t give a rats behind about climate change either because the earth is just going to burn up anyway. What pathetic pathetic human beings. And they want to be godly? I’m aghast, disgusted, and pissed that people like this get the time of day, let alone a standing ovation.

  7. “Does this Robertson guy know anything?”

    Curmudgeon, that was a rhetorical question, right? It’s clear from the quotes he hasn’t the foggiest f*ing idea what he’s talking about.

  8. docbill1351

    Here we have a guy who is an abject moron. Yes, he built a business making duck calls but his claim to fame is a TV show and now he’s a GOP pundit!

    I totally blame the “media” for promoting the duck people and joe the plumber and why these knuckleheads aren’t laughed off the stage is a mystery.

  9. Remember when Governor Jindal said something about not being the party of stupid? Good times.

  10. So stupid it burns and burns

  11. Gov. Jindal, a Brown biology major, is perhaps even worse that the DD patriarch.

  12. You laugh, but what are the odds that someone who rejects the existence of a creator god could get past the primary in either party, let alone the general election? Zilch point squat.

  13. Charles Deetz ;)

    Linuxgal, but at least the Bushes and Obama were pretty moderate in their Christianity, this guy shows which direction the GOP is going. We joke about Taliban, but that is what they are becoming. I want to sit down with the folks at work who have Fox News open all day and ask them if they really believe all this crap. I wouldn’t know what to do after they said they agreed with Robertson, however.

  14. waldteufel

    So the GOP is the party of Duck Dynasty. How low can the party of Louie Gohmert sink? Depressing, really.

    The frogs frolicking in my pond tonight have an intellectual level far above that of the god bothering droolers in control of the GOP these days.

    Where are William F. Buckley, Barry Goldwater, or Dwight Eisenhower when you need a rational, sane conservative voice?

    The Democratic Party is a party of wimps, and the GOP is a party of insanity.

    And so it goes . . . . .

  15. Maybe the Dems will balance things out by inviting Kim Kardashian to be their keynote speaker. Funny how being a celebrity somehow confers an assumed level of authority. It must work — look at all the millions spent to get celebrity endorsements of all manner of products.

    Like our Curmudgeon and Stephen Kennedy, I’ve never watched watched Duck Dynasty either. However, I’ve seen Phil Robertson’s visage emblazoned on enough T-shirts while walking through Wal-Mart to get the idea that he and Ken Ham would hit it off just ducky.

  16. It is interesting Darwin himself predicted DNA. Not specifically as the phosphoric acid-pentose sugar compound but as inherited factors. This was actually an improvement over the conventional wisdom that the male seed contained what was called the “homunculus” and the female contributed nothing but was just fertile soil for the homunculus to grow.

  17. Waldteufel: Where are William F. Buckley, Barry Goldwater, or Dwight Eisenhower when you need a rational, sane conservative voice?

    Buckley was a creationist. Also racist. $%&* him.

    Eisenhower was the first president to go to the Presidential Prayer Breakfast run by elite evanglical organization “The Family” (which later helped arm and facilitate genocidal regimes in several countries.) Now every year a president has to go and grovel to them at their Prayer Breakfast.

  18. Lest we forget: the rot set in on the GOP quite some time ago, and it ceased to be the reasonable party it was when I was growing up:

    The Religious Right and the 1992 GOP Convention

    And that all time favourite, from 1980: Rev. James Robison

  19. Ceteris Paribus

    Ed mentions:

    However, it turns out he [the Duckster] went to Louisiana Tech, and earned a Phys Ed degree, then later a Masters in Education.

    Which shows that this man is well qualified for Godly American politics. After all, in most states, the highest paid person on the state payroll will be a college football or basketball coach. And they really know the value of prayer before each battle in the arena.

    I suggest we get rid of the waste of time spent on elections, and hold Roman style gladiatorial contests every two years to pick our leaders. Armchair easy for the voters, near 100% turnout, and for the candidates themselves it will be just as much fun as shooting ducks on a pond. Quack-quack.

  20. It’s hardly surprising that he is a quack.
    Or that the current Republican party loves a quack as long as he wants to turn the country into the United States of Fundamentalist Christians. The core for a Republican hero is be for Fundamentalism, Guns, and Money. Clearly this guy has all three so it is hardly a surprise that they love him.

  21. Ceteris Paribus suggests “…we get rid of the waste of time spent on elections, and hold Roman style gladiatorial contests every two years to pick our leaders.”

    Ahrnold would really go for that! I didn’t peg you as being such a fan of his, CP.